The guilt of people finding me

[Johnporkyy1000]

so I keep thinking about how I want to ctb, which is most likely gonna be by partial hanging or using the sn method. But the guilt of my parents finding me is the thing that's holding me back. They don't deserve to find their daughter in her room dead. We've had to deal with enough trauma related to death I can't have them see me like that.

So I've thought about a hypothetical scenario where I go somewhere else and do it. Leave late in the night when they're asleep and do it. But the same thing still applies, if I go somewhere far away I still worry someone will find me. Like a passer by who doesn't deserve the trauma of finding someone who's commited. I don't even want the police or authorities to deal w that.

I just wish I could disappear, I feel too guilty and I just wanted to see if anyone relates to this at all?

 

[wishmaster9]

I can relate to this and think a lot of other people can as well.
Someone will have to find us either way, and afterwards someone else will take care of our body, it's unavoidable.
I think in order to let go of the guilt we have to really want to go. We can't let it stop us. A lot of us are still here solely because of that guilt, and unfortunately it seems like staying for other's sake is only helpful to them, not us.
So many of us will still suffer regardless of the unavoidable pain of others, the only thing we need to decide is who do we care more about - us or them.

 

[Johnporkyy1000]

I can relate to this and think a lot of other people can as well.
Someone will have to find us either way, and afterwards someone else will take care of our body, it's unavoidable.
I think in order to let go of the guilt we have to really want to go. We can't let it stop us. A lot of us are still here solely because of that guilt, and unfortunately it seems like staying for other's sake is only helpful to them, not us.
So many of us will still suffer regardless of the unavoidable pain of others, the only thing we need to decide is who do we care more about - us or them.

This helped a lot thank you