The funniest thread on r/SuicideWatch I have ever seen.

[TriggerHappy]

View attachment 75969

So, you are telling me that by committing suicide I can spare myself from capeshit movies and annoying people like this fucker?

Literally the single most compelling argument for suicide that I've read in my entire life. Thanks, r/suicidewatch!

 

[Fragile]

 

[diyCTB]

... I think if someone suggested to me that Marvel and anime were reasons to stay alive, I'd just do it in front of them that very moment.

"Say hello to my little friend" and shoot yourself instead?

This is what I mean when I say people on this website trend towards nihilism.

Nihilistic mystics
Apostolic alcoholics
Messianic manics
Cataclysmic and prolific

In the age of super-boredom
Hype and mediocrity
Celebrate relentlessness
Menace to society

BBC's In The Flesh. Great show about everyone who died in 2011 coming back to life as zombies until scientists discover a treatment that allows them to be humanish again (they cant grow old nor are they "alive" but they have their same personalities and function as regular people). The main character actually died from suicide so part of the show was just him navigating living with his family afterwards.

No offense about BBC...

 

[diyCTB]

View attachment 75939

Don't even think about spamming that button! This is not Oblivion where you play egoist, summoning creatures every 5 minutes. It's a real life here.

Hmm, I haven't considered how future MCU movies give meaning to my life. Maybe I got it all wrong, maybe life is worth living! Thank you Disney for giving me purpose

They just don't care about suicidals.

It shows how most people there have never felt depression. One of the major reasons why were suicidal is because were stuck in a cycle of no longer enjoying things the way we used to or at all. Marvel isnt gonna fix that.

There's nothing marvel about Marvel. Facade as usual.

Typical reddit.

I won't wait for Diablo 4 or Skyrim 2 (jk, of course I mean The Elder Scrolls 6) or Elden ring.

They don't care about suicidal gamers too.

"excuse me, you cannot POSSIBLY want to ctb, because capitalism. What? You don't care about capitalism? What kind of human garbage are you! CAPITALISM MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER! DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?"

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

This isn't much different than the quality you can expect from a suicide prevention or mental health crisis hotline/chatline, honestly. My favourite is the canned "So what I'm hearing you saying is that you're struggling and having some difficulties right now?". Followed by them parroting your own words back at you and overall saying absolutely nothing. Leaving you feeling worse than you started.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

"Say hello to my little friend" and shoot yourself instead?

If I could upvote a thousand times I would. Scarface is one of the best films of all time.

 

[callme]

How am I still alive? Never watched sci-fi, had a good computer, learned programming, went to the movies, was a gamer, never had friends or went to a party of any sort. Not into anything. Never seen all the great movies 'cept the Goodfather. Can you imagine this? Somebody who doesn't know movies like Star Trek, The Matrix, or any superhero movie ever. Never had a console. And has somehow overcome nature by ever being born.

I believe I am the only one who will be massively told to shoot myself on suicide watch.

Have children, really? I am so angry at everything I eat children for breakfast and drink their tears to go with it. Not bad actually, but doesn't go well with the jalapeño dip.

 

[diyCTB]

My favourite is the canned "So what I'm hearing you saying is that you're struggling and having some difficulties right now?". Followed by them parroting your own words back at you and overall saying absolutely nothing. Leaving you feeling worse than you started.

- "What's your reason for calling sir?"
- "What's your reason for answering ma'am?"

 

[callme]

View attachment 75971

Batman better than Superman anytime. I like the Batman Animated Series, today's cartoons and movies suck.

 

[diyCTB]

@callme Batman cares...

 

[TriggerHappy]

☆♡

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

This isn't much different than the quality you can expect from a suicide prevention or mental health crisis hotline/chatline, honestly. My favourite is the canned "So what I'm hearing you saying is that you're struggling and having some difficulties right now?". Followed by them parroting your own words back at you and overall saying absolutely nothing. Leaving you feeling worse than you started.

That's why I stopped reaching out to professionals and volunteers. I know they have to be careful and maintain professional distance but I feel like I'm being placated like a child.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Who knew that the end credits of the latest cookie cutter Marvel film contained the mystic secrets capable of alleviate my crippling disabilities and trauma. Give this man 1000 wholesome awards, he's figured it all out lads.

 

[NotStrongEnough]

Who knew that the end credits of the latest cookie cutter Marvel film contained the mystic secrets capable of alleviate my crippling disabilities and trauma. Give this man 1000 wholesome awards, he's figured it all out lads.

Well to be fair, isn't the latest one Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings? There's the mysticism you're asking for! LOL

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Tbh, I'm sad that I'll never get to see how FF7:R plays out. But no way in hell I'm sticking around that long just for that. Let me die already

 

[diyCTB]

Who knew that the end credits of the latest cookie cutter Marvel film contained the mystic secrets capable of alleviate my crippling disabilities and trauma. Give this man 1000 wholesome awards, he's figured it all out lads.

It's a trap!

Well to be fair, isn't the latest one Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings? There's the mysticism you're asking for! LOL

Is Shang-Chi relative of Shang Tsung?

 

[callme]

They now have a new window of opportunity as iPhuck 13 Pro is coming out. For the good of life, hang on just to see the new phone.

 

[diyCTB]

They now have a new window of opportunity as iPhuck 13 Pro is coming out. For the good of life, hang on just to see the new phone.

Standing in crowd for days and sleeping on the street to defend your spot is alone worth it.

 

[callme]

Standing in crowd for days and sleeping on the street to defend your spot is alone worth it.

Although buying a new phone, especially for that kind of money makes people jello, so you may turn out to be a racist along the way.

 

[diyCTB]

Although buying a new phone, especially for that kind of money makes people jello, so you may turn out to be a racist along the way.

It might be dangerous to walk outside with it due to apple thieves.

Buying latest graphics card also makes people jello. Hard core gamers can go berzerk.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Although buying a new phone, especially for that kind of money makes people jello, so you may turn out to be a racist along the way.

You can't be racist if you enjoy all flavors of jello. Just carry a spoon, and hold it up to any accuser.

It might be dangerous to walk outside with it due to apple thieves.

Better carry some fresh apples as decoys, and toss 'em their way. Bonus points if you nail them in their open pieholes.

 

[diyCTB]

@Rogue Proxy

1. There is no spoon
2. Most people don't have Pi-Hole

 

[Rogue Proxy]

2. Most people don't have Pi-Hole

You're right. I should have known the lack of pieholes considering that most humans talk out of their asses.

Funny thing was I read your comment about apple thieves minutes after I waking up, misread it as "apple pickers," and pictured being ambushed by jealous country bumpkins.

 

[Acceptance]

But oh boy, here comes the "just wait a minute!!" knights to save the day.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/ffa003bb-7bb5-4942-87ef-12f25f5862cb-jpeg.75900/

I mean most people genuinely don't know what it is really like to be suicidal. They want to help but really don't know how but it's just like how people want to die but at first don't know how and end up trying to OD on OTC medication like tylenol only to have puked it out later. They are "trying" something that may seem like no effort or cookie cutter but they don't know what else to do.

Those first responses are definitely better than the rest of the replies... like the waiting a year, missing out on disney/mcu and anime..

If I really was gonna wait a year I'd make that post after that year wait. I don't even like MCU or DCU etc... that comment would just make me ??????

Anime? I watch a decent amount of anime on and off but how is that going to stop the pain of existing?

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Don't even think about spamming that button! This is not Oblivion where you play egoist, summoning creatures every 5 minutes. It's a real life here.

Reality is more akin to Skyrim; a beautiful world, but broken and bugged.

 

[Fthis]

... I think if someone suggested to me that Marvel and anime were reasons to stay alive, I'd just do it in front of them that very moment.

On YouTube then these "hundred reasons to stay alive" lists are going around any comment section having to do with suicide, usually with a bunch of guilt trips, things like anime and tacos, and "you don't actually wanna die you just wanna end the pain", and if anyone dares to say their lists don't help, then there's a bunch of angry comments like "THIS PERSON SPENT TIME MAKING A LIST OF 100 REASONS TO LIFE AND YOU STILL DON'T WANNA LIFE YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK?!". What are these people's thinking?

 

[diyCTB]

"THIS PERSON SPENT TIME MAKING A LIST OF 100 REASONS TO LIFE AND YOU STILL DON'T WANNA LIFE YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK?!"

To which I would reply that it's in their interest to get views from desperate people, provided video is monetized.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

On YouTube then these "hundred reasons to stay alive" lists are going around any comment section having to do with suicide, usually with a bunch of guilt trips, things like anime and tacos, and "you don't actually wanna die you just wanna end the pain", and if anyone dares to say their lists don't help, then there's a bunch of angry comments like "THIS PERSON SPENT TIME MAKING A LIST OF 100 REASONS TO LIFE AND YOU STILL DON'T WANNA LIFE YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK?!". What are these people's thinking?

I'd envy that level of ignorance if I had any drive, tbh.

Yeah, not many actually embrace the concept of death otherwise this site would be empty. But to say we just want an end to pain isn't entirely accurate. A lot of us aren't always dying of pain, a lot of us just fucking exist in a stalemate that nothing fixes. Then there are people who are ill and won't ever get better so, what, should they just eat more fucking tacos?

I'd have a lot more sympathy for these people if they actually just listened to our perspective. But that's too scary and it's easier to write us off as damaged and refusing to follow the Church of Anime.

 

[Meretlein]

Ah yes, the classical ''life is a gift because we have pizza and videogames yay!''. First of all, how do they even know if OP likes Marvel or Disney or whatever comic stuff or anime? But that's redditors we talk about, they love to act like they-know-it-all, even the life of people they never met.

Second, yeah there's a lot of bullshit to watch and it's enjoyable when you watch it. But after? You'll forget it immediately, in one week you won't even remember anymore. Your mind be making up space for the unforgettable suffering and bad moments that will come ;). I said and I will say again: Good moments are few in number, they are superficial as intensity and won't last long. Bad moments instead are plenty, they are very intense and last a lot. So why should OP keep living for such a superficial reason as a stupid movie or an anime if the bad will prevail in a short time again?

They're normies who have no clue about how life works and have been sheltered all their life, they come on that subreddit and other similar to annoy the hell out of people with real problems, thinking that they're some kind of saints for repeating the same thoughtless phrases over and over again.

Man go post on mental health subreddits (and reddit in general) only if you wanna suffer lol.

If I ever need that final push, I am going to post my situation to reddit.

 

[diyCTB]

I'd have a lot more sympathy for these people if they actually just listened to our perspective. But that's too scary and it's easier to write us off as damaged and refusing to follow the Church of Anime.

When people don't understand something, they attack. Maybe subconsciously it's protection against cognitive dissonance? They are afraid to become ones they hate? I don't know. Maybe what I said applies to religions more.