
asphyxiangel
bpd baby
- Aug 6, 2023
- 31
i have been suicidal for the last 12 years of my life. ive written countless notes and came close to it many times.
but the only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger (figuratively and literally) is not knowing what comes after
first, im terrified by the thought of death on its own. will i know in my final moments that im dying or will it be so quick that i cant even comprehend it? how will it feel? how fast would it be?
second, the fear of what comes after. i dont really believe in a heaven or hell but what if they ARE real and my soul is cursed forever lol . will i know that im dead? will i be able to look down on my loved ones? the scariest part of death to me is the fact no one can describe it for obvious reasons so idk what to expect
i know we all die eventually, and realistically i would prefer to go on my own terms. but i still cant bring myself to do it and idk how to just get over it
does anyone think this way too? that the ONLY reason you're still here is because you fear what comes after?
but the only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger (figuratively and literally) is not knowing what comes after
first, im terrified by the thought of death on its own. will i know in my final moments that im dying or will it be so quick that i cant even comprehend it? how will it feel? how fast would it be?
second, the fear of what comes after. i dont really believe in a heaven or hell but what if they ARE real and my soul is cursed forever lol . will i know that im dead? will i be able to look down on my loved ones? the scariest part of death to me is the fact no one can describe it for obvious reasons so idk what to expect
i know we all die eventually, and realistically i would prefer to go on my own terms. but i still cant bring myself to do it and idk how to just get over it
does anyone think this way too? that the ONLY reason you're still here is because you fear what comes after?