The dark humor thread

[Ruffian]

Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it's sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the very end and make it all worthwhile. Nobody should blame you for walking out early.

Someone on this site turned me on to a Doug Stanhope. That's one of his best quotes, and he's got tons of dark humor and commentaries on life sucking ass. I forget who it was now, but it helped me a lot.

 

[kkatt]

this got me quitye a few bans

 

[Orin]

Bob: So Joe, i heard your son wants to become a choirboy.
Joe: Yeah, but i didn't let him.
Bob: why?
Joe: well, you know them priests.... can't take any chances.
Bob: Bro, not all priests are pedos...
Joe: yeah i know but even if there's just a 1% chance of my son being butt-raped, i ain't taking that risk.
Bob nods in agreement.

Joe: So what's up with you? Heard you're now a quote unquote "antinatalist."
Bob nods.
Joe: what the hell is wrong with you?!
Bob: well, i think it's the moral thing to do. My worst nightmare is having a child who ends up killing himself.
Joe: Bro, the vast majority of people don't end up suicidal....
Bob: yeah i know but even if there's just a 1% chance...........

 

[chrijo]

I want to post that again. Every time I see that I have to smile, maybe you too.

View attachment 20th Century Fuck ( 480 X 854 ).mp4

 

[chrijo]

Double posting..

 

[silent staring void]

This thread just made me remember Joan Cornella. Here are some more of his comics.

 

[Reallyreallyreally]

I wish I still had any of it. When I was a child I drew the normal stuff but I also drew a lot of dismembered bodies with red crayon, paint, marker everywhere. My siblings and I would play funeral. I never played normal pretend games but I loved playing funeral, complete with a wedding style march. I'd think it was inspired by Beetlejuice but this game predated that movie. While visiting relatives one of them became very concerned and suggested we all be evaluated by a psychologist.

I hate watching pain but love gore. For a while there I was looking into doing crime scene cleanup, though I would have had to hide this because generally they try not to license ghouls. I'm not one but you never know how other people would view this.

 

[Fly🦋]

 

[Phill]

View attachment 9664

Makes sense.

 

[existtosuffer]

This thread just made me remember Joan Cornella. Here are some more of his comics.

His work is literally one of the few things that brings me joy.

 

[stygal]

 

[avoid_slow_death]

 

[Manaaja]

I was just thinking about a dark humor joke I read in The Elder Scrolls 2: Daggerfall when I found this thread! Good timing! It went something like this:

A young man had suddenly fallen really ill and went to visit the local healer.
The old man said, "I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?". The young boy chose bad news.
The healer compassionately took hold of the boy's shoulders to prevent him from fainting. "Your illness is so grave that even I can't heal you, and unless a miracle occurs, you will die in a few days."
The boy was understandably very upset and started crying. He wasn't even 20! Why would he have to die so young! It wasn't fair! But then he remembered that the healer had also mentioned something about good news.
"You told me you had good news too. What are they?"
"Did you see a young maid in the hallway on your way here?"
The boy's eyes brightened. He had indeed noticed the beautiful and lovely maiden. "What about her?" asked the boy excitedly.
"I'm having sex with her," said the old man.