Discussion Tell us about your first CTB attempt, how was it?

[love_peep]

I had one unsuccessful attempt at CTB and I wonder that I also understand the feeling of the last minutes of life, but I am interested in hearing some unsuccessful attempts at CTB and what you felt at that moment
may be in the future i tell about my attempt

 

[love_peep]

Well, I first try cutting. The ironic part was that my pain tolerance is low and couldn't go through with it, I had some scars left from cuts, they healed(I attempted months ago). It got to painful for my body to continue. I felt a lot of pain, but at the time a little fear of the pain that comes from bleeding out.

Not long ago I also started cutting myself, but I'm not just cutting myself, but trying to draw something at the moment, I have already been doing this for 5 days 5 different inscriptions and drawings I am so sorry that I don't hate myself like that

I was 14 years old and downed a bottle of my Adderall. That night was painful. I was not able to fall asleep at all that first night. I remember getting chest/back pains and I had serious trouble breathing. My mom took me in and out of the doctors office multiple times in the coming weeks but none of them really found out what was wrong with me. I never told them what I did. One of the doctors pulled my mom to the side and told her they suspected I was depressed. It honestly hurt to see my mom cry as much as she did when she was told that. I think at that moment she pieced together that I actually tried to end my life rather than having a mystery illness.

To be honest, I feel sorry for my mother, I can't even imagine what she felt when she realized that you did something to yourself.And then you were prescribed some kind of antidepressants or something like that, I just drink them right now

 

[pettyqueen]

That's truly awful how they treated you, I can unfortunately relate, they don't give a shit. Still I'm sorry you experienced that, you were let down big time, when you were in a very vulnerable & dangerous position, they left you feeling even more invalidated and alone. From my experiences with nhs they don't give a fuck.

It wasn't in the uk in my case but still free healthcare

 

[cami]

You overdosed on what ?

about seven bottles of paracetamol. it was rough and it took all my willpower not to tell anyone. do not reccommend at all.

 

[Ambivalent1]

It was attention seeking.

 

[GreenBanana23]

i bought a shotgun but blabber mouthed to a friend because i wasn't 100% sure i wanted to actaully do it despite fantasizing about putting the barrel in my mouth and pulling the trigger. got institutionalized before i could get shotgun. am now restricted individual. fuck!!