how do I get over the fear of death? How do I get over this voice inside me that keeps telling me to try one more form of help and one more and one more even though I know in my heart nobody can help me? How do I get over this part of me that wants to cling to life? How do people take the plunge? Every day is pure torture on so many levels yet for some reason I just cant bring myself to do it.
CringeNihilism
Eternal Euthymia
- Feb 13, 2023
- 101
For me I just watch gore videos or train at the hospital. Seeing people die help me view death as a normal thing tho it can be traumatizing at first but after some time it gets normal.
My mind is made up, dont really have any doubts.
Mr. Incapable
Also inadequate, incompetent, weak & powerless
- Jun 21, 2022
- 175
I understand your struggle. I'm constantly at a battle with wanting to die, but being scared or fearful of the process, SI overwhelming me and forcing me to back out or clinging to the thought of the very few things that give me some sort of comfort even though it's not truly enough to keep me alive.
My personal situation. I had everything and now i dont. My life wont be the same and I'm not interested in finding out what it'll be like.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 44,048
I guess that many people manage to go through with suicide when they have a method that they feel confident in and they know that it's the right time. I envy and admire them. Suicide is something which isn't straightforward after all.
But one should never fear death as we are all destined to die, death is completely inescapable. I very strongly believe death to be permanent nothingness where we won't even be aware of the fact that we are dead, there is simply nothing to fear and anyway to die would solve all problems and remove all suffering. The non existent have no more concerns or worries and I consider that to be ideal. To exist means to suffer and I see existence as being a curse and a burden, so therefore the thought of death comforts me so much and I only fear life instead, as life is the thing that causes all harm and death is the complete absence of it.
But one should never fear death as we are all destined to die, death is completely inescapable. I very strongly believe death to be permanent nothingness where we won't even be aware of the fact that we are dead, there is simply nothing to fear and anyway to die would solve all problems and remove all suffering. The non existent have no more concerns or worries and I consider that to be ideal. To exist means to suffer and I see existence as being a curse and a burden, so therefore the thought of death comforts me so much and I only fear life instead, as life is the thing that causes all harm and death is the complete absence of it.
AngryDog
Member
- Mar 2, 2023
- 73
May I ask you what kind of struggles you have? If there's even a miniscule part of you that wants to live and need someone who listens, you can pm me if you want.
Gosh i wish I can see it that way. To me death is this great unknown, and I'm standing at the edge of the diving board afraid to leave land behind.
Thank you. Hard to explain really but I lost basic human capacity to function and enjoy life, not physical capacity, emotional capacity.
AngryDog
Member
- Mar 2, 2023
- 73
I see... I bet it gets unbearable at times. It sounds a very severe and persistent depression. I believe from what you wrote that you already looked for help about this. However I'll still recomend you to talk about those emotions (or lack of) with someone. Suicidal ideation can be very persistent, but not impossible to control in most cases and putting those feelings into words can help to understand where they come from. It's up to you to make that decision, since this is your personal struggle.
From one stranger on the internet to another, I wish you good luck.
Thank you :) it's not depression, it's something much deeper and more complex that cannot be easily be put into a label or diagnosis. I wish it could be but it's much more complex. I'm also a mental health professional so I know :) thanks for the good wishes :)
SI to overcome is to stop believing what society and your brain tell you. Everything. Everything and see truth. Truth is you were not there 100 years past. You won't be here 100 years future. 150000 people die everyday. You see it is not a big deal like society or your brain tell you.
WaitingToGo
Experienced
- Feb 18, 2023
- 233
Rational man
Enlightened
- Oct 19, 2021
- 1,484
Maybe you've been dealing.with two aspects, fear of death and fear of life.
Fear of death is common but i believe everyone should work toward banishing this fear because it prevents us from living now. If we accept that we all do die somehow at sometime then we.recognise that fear is simply a human reaction to the unknown. But the unknown will arrive and we will cease to exist. Your inner voice is strong and maybe its saying you need to live for reasons. Our human life is suffering, its a rollercoaster ride and ive.never known a person who hasn't suffered in someway.
I can totally relate to what you're saying and going through. It's like my mind and heart want to go so bad, but I just can't seem to get my body to respond to actually go through with my wishes. That truly is the curse of the survival instinct. Even though we know death is all we want we can't seem to physically get there. It's the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced.
RichardFirst
Specialist
- Jan 16, 2021
- 382
Survival instinct is a powerful thing. It would have to be, for existence is more often than not and onerous trudge and not a blissful canter. We were not endowed with an instinct to carry on, we would never have "succeeded" as a species.
I suppose that the tipping point comes when the pain of existing overcomes the impulse to survive. People in crippling physical will readily welcome death. The same can be said for those who are in emotional anguish. PErhaps, if your instinct to survive cannot be overcome, it is not yet your time.
I suppose that the tipping point comes when the pain of existing overcomes the impulse to survive. People in crippling physical will readily welcome death. The same can be said for those who are in emotional anguish. PErhaps, if your instinct to survive cannot be overcome, it is not yet your time.
Right? I'm so afraid to let go of what I know, the familiar. Even though this has only been the familiar for 34 years, but I don't remember anything else. But the way I see it, if we wouldn't be meant to decide our own destiny, suicide wouldn't be possible, but we've actually been given the option of choosing to leave the planet when we decide to! That's pretty telling imo. It's like when we signed up for this planet, it also came with an exit button, a refund option, in case we changed our mind at any point and want to get off at the next stop! It just shows that it's our right!
You know I was ready to go through with it several months ago, determined, but a friend talked me out of it. Whose to say whether it's our time or not, but I do hear your point.
That's some very interesting viewpoints, both that life came with the opportunity to exit and is therefore our right and also that if SI can't be overcome it isn't your time to go. Thanks for making those points and making me think in these ways... 
ksp
Arcanist
- Oct 1, 2022
- 435
it helps me to distinguish between instincts (irrationality) vs. intellect (rationality)
we are alive only because of survival instinct - wanting to be alive is irrational; we are simply driven be the most important instinct in nature (vs. the universe which has death as default). all life has this builtin instinct of self-preservation, otherwise all life would perish - instantly. any organism will eventually die, but not without the ultimate 'battle of its life' (regardless - it all ends in entropy)
rationality doesn't have a chance in overcoming the survival instincts. it tells us that life is suffering, but it will not overwrite this instinct no matter how hard we try - you only get rid of the survival instinct after your last breath (after death)
for me, the only chance i'd get is to trick my instinct; what's closer to death? sleep, coma, or unconsciousness in general. a peaceful transition to death implies unawareness: Nembutal; i'll go to sleep, and my sleep is so deep that my brain 'forgets to breathe', so it requires no instinct to stay alive - the most peaceful death
the more traumatic suicides require truly unbearable suffering - every moment of your life makes you desperate enough to escape this non-stop suffering, by any means necessary
suffering is relative, but we have the concepts of self, future, and intent…
i made this list of peaceful suicide methods for myself:
| Method | Peacefulness | Reliability | Availability |
| Nembutal | 100 % | 100 % | not available |
| Carfentanil | 100 % | 100 % | drug dealers / street |
| Fentanyl | 100 % | 100 % | drug dealers / street |
| Heroin | 100 % | 100 % | drug dealers / street |
| Nitrogen | 100 % | 100 % | legal |
| Carbon Monoxide | 100 % | 100 % | legal |
| GHB | 100 % | need info | darknet |
| Propofol | 100% | need info | need info |
so if any of these methods would be available to me, i would be able to overcome my survival instinct
the more important decision requires deep introspection: do i really want to die?
for me, the answer is easy, but others need to decide for themselves:
what prospects do i have in my life? what do i have to look forward to? do i have a tendency to see my future as more suffering, and possibly some acceptable rewards, or do i see the glass half full: i'll concentrate on 'getting help', and the possibility to get 'better' (my own perspective) - as well as accepting that suffering is inevitable, but i'm willing to put in the effort to continue my life until i'll die (anyway) a natural death (i am aware of my inevitable death); in short: will my future be tolerable, or not? (my best estimate)
i used 'getting help' in quotes because, if you work in the field, you will know that 'help' is relative: not all doctors / psychologists / psychiatrist / therapists are equal. if you're lucky you might find someone that has the chance to actually help you, but in most cases you will end up wasting your efforts and resources in vain - are you ready to continue your suffering, and if so - for how long? when will you decide when enough is enough (mentally speaking - i'm assuming you don't have any major physical illnesses)
i hope you will find some peace in your quest
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That's some very interesting viewpoints, both that life came with the opportunity to exit and is therefore our right and also that if SI can't be overcome it isn't your time to go. Thanks for making those points and making me think in these ways...
Thank you for your thoughtful response!
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