Venting Support worker and CTB - supported accommodation

[LittleJem]

I'm living in supported accommodation. They are meant to come and do a welfare check in the AM but today this hasn't happened. I think it is because this support worker feels scared or uncomfortable with how much I have told him I want to be dead. He has heard me sobbing morning and evening and comes to talk to me. Last time, I told him I didn't want to talk again.

Talking with him does not help me. He does not understand mental illness and tells me people are sufffering in Africa (where he is from). I have said to him that does not relate to my suffering and he cannot understand the suffering of mental illness.

I have decided not to tell him how I am feeling anymore.

I am currently feeling frightened. That CTB might be close. I keep getting flashes of imagining my family at my funeral. I hope they forgive me and it does not cause too much suffering for them.

I hate being so stuck here and stuck in this suffering.

 

[Goku Black]

He does not understand mental illness and tells me people are sufffering in Africa (where he is from).

Well I'm from Africa too, I see how people suffer daily from poverty, poor governance and leadership benefiting everyone and not just a few, high levels of crime, rapidly decaying infrastructure yet I never use that as a reason to tell people someone out there has it worse than they do so mindful of that. Using this continent as an argument doesn't make sense to me, people are suffering everywhere, it just so happens that Africa's the first thing he thought because he's from there and it represents his reality, and yes it doesn't represent what you are currently suffering through which needs to be understood, not belittled because someone else is suffering far worse than you are.

 

[rozeske]

Is there a way you can change the assigned support worker? If you can help it i would advice you to get the support you seek from a different professional. There are people that are not open minded to mental health and suicide in general. I find it to be pronounced a lot more here in Africa where the cultural and religious principles don't leave much room to be considerate of peoples sufferings as a result of suicidality. I wouldn't expect to get help from someone who needs help in broadening their view and understanding themselves.