Venting Summer Sucks

[liverviper]

I'd really like to think I've been recovering, but summer's just completely running me over. I think I should feel good---I graduated, I'm on medication, and I have more friends online and irl than I've had in years. It was never really anything wrong with me, I think, my family just moved around a lot, so friends never stayed for long. On top of that, the entirety of high school was virtual. I love my sister, but she almost missed my graduation because of traffic, and she's the one I wanted there with me the most. She says she got to see me get my diploma, but I don't know if she was just lying to make me feel better. She moved, too, and offered to take me with her but I spent so much of my childhood moving around that it's easier to just stay with my alcoholic(recovering?maybe? tba) father so that I don't have to pack my shit up again. It wouldn't be much of an issue, but we worked together so, of course, when she came to visit, she came back to the restaurant. I was so happy that she stopped by, but we were talking with some coworkers and I mentioned wishing that my sister would come back, and one of the girls ended up going on and on about how i need to let my sister live her life and how she offered to bring me with her, and it just ruined my night. It went on for maybe 5 minutes of pure berating over nothing, it hurt a lot and I ended up just going to the bathroom to cry. It really poisoned what I thought was gonna be a good night. I feel like she just hates me now, and I can't really talk to her the same way I used to-- she always seems to be on her final straw with me and I don't know why. Otherwise, I feel like things just haven't been going well for me. It's getting harder to maintain basic hygiene, I've had a short fuse in general recently, and everything just feels really dull. I ended up relapsing after nearly a year of being clean, and I just feel like general shit.

 

[timf]

If someone you trusted says that which hurts, it may be because it is true, it may be because you extended trust to someone not quite worthy, or perhaps you misunderstood. If this was someone that should not have been trusted as much, you can pull back some and recognize the potential to be hurt.

Post graduation is a time for the formation of groups and group activities. However, over the next few years individuals peel off to pursue their own interests and relationships. It can be useful to use this time to also develop some individual interests.

 

[bagel12]

I'd really like to think I've been recovering, but summer's just completely running me over. I think I should feel good---I graduated, I'm on medication, and I have more friends online and irl than I've had in years. It was never really anything wrong with me, I think, my family just moved around a lot, so friends never stayed for long. On top of that, the entirety of high school was virtual. I love my sister, but she almost missed my graduation because of traffic, and she's the one I wanted there with me the most. She says she got to see me get my diploma, but I don't know if she was just lying to make me feel better. She moved, too, and offered to take me with her but I spent so much of my childhood moving around that it's easier to just stay with my alcoholic(recovering?maybe? tba) father so that I don't have to pack my shit up again. It wouldn't be much of an issue, but we worked together so, of course, when she came to visit, she came back to the restaurant. I was so happy that she stopped by, but we were talking with some coworkers and I mentioned wishing that my sister would come back, and one of the girls ended up going on and on about how i need to let my sister live her life and how she offered to bring me with her, and it just ruined my night. It went on for maybe 5 minutes of pure berating over nothing, it hurt a lot and I ended up just going to the bathroom to cry. It really poisoned what I thought was gonna be a good night. I feel like she just hates me now, and I can't really talk to her the same way I used to-- she always seems to be on her final straw with me and I don't know why. Otherwise, I feel like things just haven't been going well for me. It's getting harder to maintain basic hygiene, I've had a short fuse in general recently, and everything just feels really dull. I ended up relapsing after nearly a year of being clean, and I just feel like general shit.

summers really do suck. you say that you graduated, graduation can be a big life transition. personally post graduation depression hit me like a truck after high school and college. also depression is common when a loved one moves away. this could be part of why things have felt difficult lately. have you been able to seek out support from others for this? maybe a change in treatment could help as well, if the meds aren't working?

also, i'm sorry that your coworker berated you. there's nothing wrong with missing your sister! and honestly if you need a change of scenery in the future, maybe it would be nice to eventually move in with her.

i hope your summer gets better, i'm sorry it's been like this