How do you overcome the sadness

[l345hyd7]

My sister died by suicide on 29 July and we had a close sibling connection. She experienced a lot of hardship over the past few years living in another country, and I helped her come home to live with me for the past year and a half so she had somewhere safe to be. I spent a lot of my life trying to be her protector, over absent or emotionally avoidant parents. However, she was lonely, without a purpose, or other true connections here. She tried so hard to obtain those things. In my sister's final letter to our family, she wished for us joy, connectedness, and to be free from suffering. Things that she could not have in the end. I feel that I'll never experience joy again and there's no way to escape this sadness. Has anyone gone through this and found a way out the other side? Aroha nui ki a koutou.

 

[StarryEyed]

My sister died by suicide on 29 July and we had a close sibling connection. She experienced a lot of hardship over the past few years living in another country, and I helped her come home to live with me for the past year and a half so she had somewhere safe to be. I spent a lot of my life trying to be her protector, over absent or emotionally avoidant parents. However, she was lonely, without a purpose, or other true connections here. She tried so hard to obtain those things. In my sister's final letter to our family, she wished for us joy, connectedness, and to be free from suffering. Things that she could not have in the end. I feel that I'll never experience joy again and there's no way to escape this sadness. Has anyone gone through this and found a way out the other side? Aroha nui ki a koutou.

Hello. I'm so sorry for your sister's passing, that it came to that for her and that you're left in grief. Just in case you don't know, this is a pro-choice forum to discuss suicide, and most members (like me) are and/or were struggling with considering the option suicide.

Regardless of the cause of death, grief counselling can be of great help.

Something you might consider apart from being a member here is to join or contribute in some way to an organisation for those who have lost someone to suicide, or for people who are suicidal, or both. I do volunteer work for difficult causes I believe in, and it truly helps soften the pain. Strength in numbers, you know? As an example of what you might do, I posted this week about a letter-writing organisation called "Reasons to Stay", which is run by a guy named Ben West, who lost his brother to suicide. Here is the thread, in case you're interested in maybe even writing a letter for them.

"Reasons to Stay" letters from strangers

Several months ago, a relative of mine who also has mental health issues recommended a website to me called "Reasons to Stay". When you open the site, a random letter loads that is written by an anonymous person who gives you reasons why you might want to consider staying alive, rather than...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I hope you find some peace and that you stick around so we can all share our journeys together.

 

[l345hyd7]

Hello. I'm so sorry for your sister's passing, that it came to that for her and that you're left in grief. Just in case you don't know, this is a pro-choice forum to discuss suicide, and most members (like me) are and/or were struggling with considering the option suicide.

Regardless of the cause of death, grief counselling can be of great help.

Something you might consider apart from being a member here is to join or contribute in some way to an organisation for those who have lost someone to suicide, or for people who are suicidal, or both. I do volunteer work for difficult causes I believe in, and it truly helps soften the pain. Strength in numbers, you know? As an example of what you might do, I posted this week about a letter-writing organisation called "Reasons to Stay", which is run by a guy named Ben West, who lost his brother to suicide. Here is the thread, in case you're interested in maybe even writing a letter for them.

"Reasons to Stay" letters from strangers

Several months ago, a relative of mine who also has mental health issues recommended a website to me called "Reasons to Stay". When you open the site, a random letter loads that is written by an anonymous person who gives you reasons why you might want to consider staying alive, rather than...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I hope you find some peace and that you stick around so we can all share our journeys together.

Thank you so much for your reply. I actually found this site because my sister made a number of posts here before she passed. I've experienced my own suicidal ideation since that time. It's honestly a complicated place to be - feeling some comfort that she is no longer suffering, but being absolutely devastated that she's gone and wishing I was where she is. I've just started grief counselling so it'll be interesting to see how effective that is. Happy to share my journey with y'all.

 

[StarryEyed]

Thank you so much for your reply. I actually found this site because my sister made a number of posts here before she passed. I've experienced my own suicidal ideation since that time. It's honestly a complicated place to be - feeling some comfort that she is no longer suffering, but being absolutely devastated that she's gone and wishing I was where she is. I've just started grief counselling so it'll be interesting to see how effective that is. Happy to share my journey with y'all.

What a beautiful, heartfelt message. I'm sorry you're struggling too. I hope you can find refuge and support here. Count me in if you need someone to lend an ear or a shoulder or both.