suicide is all i think about now

[depthss]

if im having a bad dau, i think about killing myself, if im having an incredible time, i still think about how much better things would be if i was dead. suicide is the one thing that crosses my mind every single day. it has become almost obsessive, the thought hardly leaves my mind. i get aggravated knowing i cant do it yet. thoughts of suicide just fully rule every other part of my life, it is one of my top priorities.
i dont want to be here, i am not afraid of death or pain. setting things up fills me with a feeling of eagerness. i hate having obstacles in my life that prevent me from doing it for whatever reason. this is all i want

 

[jefferson]

What's delaying you if I might ask?

I'm gonna do a bunch of MDMA with my gf once I get it in a few days. That's keeping me around till next weekend. Then it's SN & CTB time.

 

[depthss]

What's delaying you if I might ask?

I'm gonna do a bunch of MDMA with my gf once I get it in a few days. That's keeping me around till next weekend. Then it's SN & CTB time.i hav

i know a person that would be very upset by my suicide, and i like them, so i would feel guilty doing that to them. my hope is that i will someday feel very emotional over something, and do it impulsively without ever thinking of him

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I'm always and only wishing to be gone, ceasing to exist is all I wish for and think about as well, I personally find existing to be completely undesirable, I've only ever hoped for death. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[TheHolySword]

I understand, I'm there too. Every waking moment of every day I'm thinking about suicide. There's not any point that the thought of death isn't on my mind. I want to escape this pain and suffering.

 

[grungy自殺]

I remember I would wake up with suicidal ideation each and everytime everyday at one point in 2023 or 2024 (I hardly remember what date or time period it was exactly) and often times the dreams that I have beforehand are peaceful, and have not nothing to do with negativity (like nightmares) or things related to me killing myself. And yet the lingering thoughts of me want to seriously act out for the sake of my maintaining my sanity would still come out and it's such a pain.

It's so draining..

 

[blacksand]

Yes same here. There comes a moment where you simply know at some deep and unavoidable existential level that your time is up and a bizzare clarity comes over things.

 

[deletednumber]

this is all i want

Yup...i understand the feeling,me too