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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,159
So I attempted a recovery thread that was already made. So I'll attempt again, this is Suicide Anonymous. We don't have 12 steps or any of that "higher power" stuff here.

But I'd still like for this thread to follow a similar outline. Share what has brought you here and why you'd like to recover.

I also encourage others to sponsor one another in their recovery. The guidelines here are very loose and only follow forum standards.
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
2,607
Still your idea rocks! Im supporting 2 already, although i like to call them friends. They give just as much back, their trust and experiences help me aswell.
 
M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,428
I have Aspergers and a lot of physical health issues. Without going into my life story I began to feel extremely unwell the past year or so after years of decline and just existing. I guess you could say I lost all hope. I began to cry again from feeling overwhelmed which I hadn't done since I was about 12 years old. In an ideal world I'd like to get help to feel physically ok again, not expecting to feel great, but ok. Even if the physical pain came and went that would be ok. Then perhaps I could do things and see people again. Improve my life in a lot of ways. I could leave my flat for a while. My mental health will also be an issue that I have to deal with on a regular basis. I've accepted this already. There are so many things I'd like to do but I feel like there are many roadblocks in my way. There is a lot of things I have to overcome first. I am so disoriented nowadays I don't even know where to begin..
 
Una

Una

Write something, even if it’s just a suicide note.
Feb 28, 2020
87
Hi there @Brick In The Wall,

I am writing to say that I think your idea is great.

Truly great and admirable. It shows that you care and care enough to start an initiative that might help not only yourself, but others too. I respect that all more because it is a very rare to come by in this world of ours.

There is never, ever a shortage of those who parade various items (t--shirts, badges, slogans, etc.) on their social media accounts to demonstrate their support for their less fortunate counterparts, especially those carted into a 'mental health issues buses ' (various euphemism float around, but in essence it all comes down to 'being different', for what ever reason, and not fitting neatly into the main stream population.

On rare occasion a person is blessed with either money and/or caring and knowledgeable family - and it makes a word difference to them and their families. That is the best and the rarest outcome.

The rest (vast majority) are lonely, isolated, jobless, homeless, drunk, high and on the mercy of an inadequate/underfunded health system, occasional mate with a good heart, SS forum and finally street and a cop-shop.

That, simplified and summarized, is what I have noted about the mental health systems word over, of course with regional differences.

Not one of the peeps with postings on their social media accounts I mentioned at the start of the paragraph is anywhere to be seen to spare few hours to sit with a person in pain from loneliness, and/or offer to support them at least semi-regularly and/or offer to do something that the sufferer would actually find helpful. Something that gives a hope. Hope that, no matter how dead awful the situation might be, there is a someone who genuinely care. It is my view that this kind of help might make a meaningful different to lots of people. I have been thinking of calling it 'Peer Support' as I prefer it to be a support group regardless of whether or not the final goal is recovery in its ordinary meaning. In other words - if people establish genuine, meaningful connections, that, in and of itself is a 'recovery' in terms of better quality of life for however long/short. Because however elaborately worded, or 'disguised' inside various reasonings, at the heart of each 'loner' or 'outsider' whose solitude chips at his/her soul each night like water does to a stone ... is the deep human sorrow of not belonging. You can of course argue that this whole forum is one such 'Peer Support' group, and I would agree, except I think that it is too large, loose and transient to really function like committed peer support group.

I am sorry for this long post. I really value your idea and your contribution.

Una
 
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C

CAH

Member
May 22, 2020
52
So I attempted a recovery thread that was already made. So I'll attempt again, this is Suicide Anonymous. We don't have 12 steps or any of that "higher power" stuff here.

But I'd still like for this thread to follow a similar outline. Share what has brought you here and why you'd like to recover.

I also encourage others to sponsor one another in their recovery. The guidelines here are very loose and only follow forum standards.
Your avatar shows how I feel - screaming and desperate!!
 
D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
I have always had underlying depression and OCD anxiety, maybe autistic, maybe not.
I was more or less fine with it all and actually started to be comfortable into my forties.
But a life or avoidant alcoholism caught up with me and I got ill. I lost almost everything; my health, my car, my career, my home, my sanity and ended up as a bitter, untrusting, suicidally anxious old man, unable to interact or take care of myself or even sleep.
At some point it became clear to me that I was slowly dying of self neglect.
People on here helped me, one lass in particular showed pride in the small efforts I made and that was enough to give me back something of myself. She's sadly gone now.
I started to make tiny steps forward, despite the loss of my home at the hands of my family and now, though I'm still unwell and don't expect I'll ever recover, I'm ploughing through each day as best I can.
I stay here because I made friends and because I feel I have something to offer by sharing my experience. I want the awful stuff I've been through to be worth something.
 
Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
451
I'm a highly emotional individual with anxious attachment and body dysmorphic disorder among other things. I spend my life working to fix what i perceive as my flaws, only to repeat the same thing the following year. I'm 23, have spent 30,000 CAD on surgery and plan to spend another 10,000 this June. I work a minimum wage job so i haven't invested anything into my future (since i can't see one)

I experienced a miscarriage that broke me a few years ago and was assaulted by my best friend who i am no longer in contact with. Being the highly emotional person i am, it's really hard for me to manage and cope with things. I don't enjoy "having fun" anymore and don't feel excited about good news like i should be.

I don't know if i'm in recovery per say but i am giving it a few more months to see if things can improve and my mindset changes. i don't want to be impulsive i just need to know iv'e exhausted all i could do before checking out.
 
E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
I experienced a miscarriage that broke me a few years ago and was assaulted by my best friend who i am no longer in contact with

Just wanted to say Hi @Pryras... I am sorry you had to go through all this.

Thank you @Brick In The Wall for this initiative!

Here's my story in a nutshell.


ME/CFS-warrior, living with this disease for a very long time. I had one suicide attempt which scarred me emotionally and scared me beyond words, but I am now not actively suicidal anymore.

I am doing my best to stay afloat for my family. I have recently gone from part time to full time employment thanks to the Corona situation which permits me to work from home.

Every day is a struggle when because I am in constant pain and never, ever feel rested.

The thought of ctb comforts me when I feel I can't take this mercyless fate anymore.
 
Last edited:
Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
451
Just wanted to say Hi @Pryras... I am sorry you had to go through all this.

Thank you @Brick In The Wall for this initiative!

Here's my story in a nutshell.


ME/CFS-warrior, living with this disease for a very long time. I had one suicide attempt which scarred me emotionally and scared me beyond words, but I am now not actively suicidal anymore.

I am doing my best to stay afloat for my family. I have recently gone from part time to full time employment thanks to the Corona situation which permits me to work from home.

Every day is a struggle when because I am in constant pain and never, ever feel rested.

The thought of ctb comforts me when I feel I can't take this mercyless fate anymore.

((Hugs)) ❤️ Thank you for sharing a piece of your story and I'm happy you're choosing recovery despite the ongoing pain you're going through. The CTB thoughts help put me at ease as well, I can go whenever I feel it's too much
 
Deleted member 13227

Deleted member 13227

Good night
Dec 21, 2019
71
When I turned 10 and moved to another place everything changed. I was getting bullied at school and home. At school I didn't have any friends and I was always left out, sometimes I got beat up or just ignored. I couldn't say anything because I was to shy. At home my parents always fought each other or fought me. I was also getting physically and verbally abused by a family friend.
I was getting depressed, so I ate a lot of junk food, watched tv, watched porn, cried, isolated myself etc.all the time.

When I was 14, I had an traumatic sexual experience.This destroyed me mentally. I don't want to talk about it but it caused a lot of mental health issues. I gave me ptsd, panic attacks etc. I started to isolate myself even more and doing self destructive things, I felt so much shame.

When I started high school I was to depressed to study so I dropped out. Then my strict immigrant parents started beating me and forced me back.
I slowly started to develop ocd and mental health problems.

I dropped out when I turned 18 because of mental and physical problems (mostly mental).
I attempted hanging in October and failed. Now I am here trying to recover.
 
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