Venting Overshared about suicidality in a depression support group and now I feel horrible

[DyingToDie123]

(I already realize there's a high chance I'm in the wrong here and feel terrible about it already, so please be gentle.)

I'm in a depression support WhatsApp that I'll leave nameless for the purposes of this post. I don't have a lot of people to share with when big feelings come up so I go there often. The group is of course recovery-centered so a lot of the posts are positive, but people post when they're struggling too. I do too, and I've sometimes mentioned suicidal ideation. The sharing guidelines state that you can mention suicidal ideation but not elaborate on any particular instances and methods as to not trigger anyone, so I do my best to follow that, and I like to think I've been successful. I mentioned something today but I think toed the line of the rule and mentioned that I'd come close to acting on impulse last night (I didn't mention how) and that I felt some regrets about it because I was feeling trapped.

Someone PM'ed me and said that this was "too much" for a recovery support group and that I ought to use 911 or 988 instead. They said they felt triggered by my posts that were heavy and frequent and that they would be blocking my messages.

I feel embarrassed and horrible all around. I hate that this apparently wasn't the first time I did this and I wasn't even realizing it. I have plenty of other spaces to share more openly (here and 988) but I became too overreliant on this group and I feel so so stupid about it. And now I just feel like I have another reason to kill myself, being a fuck up who's quite literally "too much" and apparently triggering other people constantly.

I apologized to the group and will be taking a step back, but I hate that I can't just undo the harm I caused.

 

[Rev346]

It's not your fault. Some people can't deal with unfiltered emotions. As long as you followed the rules of the group. It's like somebody ordering a Reuben and then complaining that there's sauerkraut on it. Sounds like the other person needs a different type of group.

 

[Felodese]

Not a very supportive support group...

 

[unabletocope]

I think you handled it fine.

 

[AllMyDreams]

(I already realize there's a high chance I'm in the wrong here and feel terrible about it already, so please be gentle.)

I'm in a depression support WhatsApp that I'll leave nameless for the purposes of this post. I don't have a lot of people to share with when big feelings come up so I go there often. The group is of course recovery-centered so a lot of the posts are positive, but people post when they're struggling too. I do too, and I've sometimes mentioned suicidal ideation. The sharing guidelines state that you can mention suicidal ideation but not elaborate on any particular instances and methods as to not trigger anyone, so I do my best to follow that, and I like to think I've been successful. I mentioned something today but I think toed the line of the rule and mentioned that I'd come close to acting on impulse last night (I didn't mention how) and that I felt some regrets about it because I was feeling trapped.

Someone PM'ed me and said that this was "too much" for a recovery support group and that I ought to use 911 or 988 instead. They said they felt triggered by my posts that were heavy and frequent and that they would be blocking my messages.

I feel embarrassed and horrible all around. I hate that this apparently wasn't the first time I did this and I wasn't even realizing it. I have plenty of other spaces to share more openly (here and 988) but I became too overreliant on this group and I feel so so stupid about it. And now I just feel like I have another reason to kill myself, being a fuck up who's quite literally "too much" and apparently triggering other people constantly.

I apologized to the group and will be taking a step back, but I hate that I can't just undo the harm I caused.

I wouldn't be hard on yourself, you didn't brazenly break the rule. Plenty of reasonable people experiencing depression would have done what you did (I think I would have).

 

[Tobacco]

For things like these is why SS exists.

I'm sorry pro-lifers.

 

[Zanmato]

Someone PM'ed me and said that this was "too much" for a recovery support group and that I ought to use 911 or 988 instead. They said they felt triggered by my posts that were heavy and frequent and that they would be blocking my messages.

Ok, I can understand how it might trigger someone, but... Come on, this doesn't sound supportive at all!
How can they help, if people can't even fully express themself?
Don't feel "embarrassed and horrible all around" because of this.
You're already having a bad time, it was a breakdown.
It was totally normal for you to, to vent.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Fuck'em. If they don't know that depression and suicidality go hand in hand, and that severe depression can make you act in ways beyond your control, then that is not the place for you. That is why I love here so much. Most people here know how to just simpy scroll past anything they don't like.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah, excuse you for trying to seek support from a support group.

What's next? Are you going to use a tablecloth on a table? Feed a cat cat food? Wear a winter coat in winter?

 

[lovedread]

(I already realize there's a high chance I'm in the wrong here and feel terrible about it already, so please be gentle.)

I'm in a depression support WhatsApp that I'll leave nameless for the purposes of this post. I don't have a lot of people to share with when big feelings come up so I go there often. The group is of course recovery-centered so a lot of the posts are positive, but people post when they're struggling too. I do too, and I've sometimes mentioned suicidal ideation. The sharing guidelines state that you can mention suicidal ideation but not elaborate on any particular instances and methods as to not trigger anyone, so I do my best to follow that, and I like to think I've been successful. I mentioned something today but I think toed the line of the rule and mentioned that I'd come close to acting on impulse last night (I didn't mention how) and that I felt some regrets about it because I was feeling trapped.

Someone PM'ed me and said that this was "too much" for a recovery support group and that I ought to use 911 or 988 instead. They said they felt triggered by my posts that were heavy and frequent and that they would be blocking my messages.

I feel embarrassed and horrible all around. I hate that this apparently wasn't the first time I did this and I wasn't even realizing it. I have plenty of other spaces to share more openly (here and 988) but I became too overreliant on this group and I feel so so stupid about it. And now I just feel like I have another reason to kill myself, being a fuck up who's quite literally "too much" and apparently triggering other people constantly.

I apologized to the group and will be taking a step back, but I hate that I can't just undo the harm I caused.

Theyre a piece of shit for telling u that..youre not in the wrong and u deserve support and care! Im sorry this happened to you

 

[lixt]

Mate, it's not your fault some members of the "support" group get triggered when you vent. That means the group is not following its purpose.

 

[LunarLight]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault.