Suicidal ex-muslim

[sombie]

I haven't been muslim for about a decade mainly because of having been tortured by two sheikhs to get rid of a jinn,it was an extremely traumatic experience and I believe that really got me to be an atheist because they tortured me over the course of three days,chaining me up and whipping me/beating me,asking the "jinn" what religion it was,I was going through psychosis at the time and after I got treatment for my psychosis I have an extreme hate towards the deen because while I was being tortured I thought if God would allow this to happen to me for no reason and not stop it then he had no power at all,sorry for the rant.

 

[SVEN]

Some of the stuff done in the name of religion (any religion) is just almost beyond belief. I've got no problem with folk having a personal relationship with any Spiritual being(s) in which they believe, but when it all becomes organised how absolutely rotten can it all become.
Best wishes in trying to recover from your experience, no matter what final outcome it leads you to.

 

[sombie]

Some of the stuff done in the name of religion (any religion) is just almost beyond belief. I've got no problem with folk having a personal relationship with any Spiritual being(s) in which they believe, but when it all becomes organised how absolutely rotten can it all become.
Best wishes in trying to recover from your experience, no matter what final outcome it leads you to.

I agree that the more organised a religion becomes the worst it gets for its followers especially the ones who are most vulnerable,the indoctrination when you are raised as a muslim is probably the most cultish of all major religions and when I think about it it is really sad that people think they need religion to be moral,I am thankful for that torture happening to me because it exposed the real face of Islam to me personally, I only wish that I could talk to my family about that without them getting all missionary mode and trying to reconvert me,I only hope that my end is peaceful and I am forgotten quickly.

 

[IckyGun]

Sorry for my rant but I share so many sentiments with you. I am sorry for what you went through people thinking jinns exist. I was actually sent to a faith doctor as well who told me to stop reading the English version of the Quran.

I am too an exmuslim. It is awful what religious trauma can do to you. I have only ever tried to be kind to people being atheist, my former Muslim friend called me and all atheists terrorists.

I have had depression since I was 17 now 26 (9 years) I wish I had ended my life sooner. I am on zoloft 100mg and feel like a zombie. I also have lower back pain which should make my left leg disabled. My parents called my lazy after all these afflictions.

Yeah. It feels like my parents created me to bend to their will, yet I did everything for them and even somehow got a comp sci degree being depressed. Still don't have work tho.

If religion did not exist I would be so much happier. Oh and everytime I open up about mental illness no one really understands, most of my friends have now deserted me due to me being open.

It feels like people WANT you to get help and encourage it yet they don't know or don't care or have the capacity to help. I feel used like I am being chewed up and spit for the next person to use. Everyone I talked to about mental health is gone. No where to be seen.

I hate being kind and a doormat. Kind people do not belong in this world. I have everything going for me yet I am this way.

Perhaps the only thing that will get me thru the day is now caffeine and thinking of my demise

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If there was an almighty, all-forgiving, all-merciful god he would end all that suffering on this planet. Certainly there is no god or it's a sadistic one. I'm sorry you had to go through so much torture in the name of religion. This is so crazy and inhumane. I wish you all the best.

 

[sombie]

Sorry for my rant but I share so many sentiments with you. I am sorry for what you went through people thinking jinns exist. I was actually sent to a faith doctor as well who told me to stop reading the English version of the Quran.

I am too an exmuslim. It is awful what religious trauma can do to you. I have only ever tried to be kind to people being atheist, my former Muslim friend called me and all atheists terrorists.

I have had depression since I was 17 now 26 (9 years) I wish I had ended my life sooner. I am on zoloft 100mg and feel like a zombie. I also have lower back pain which should make my left leg disabled. My parents called my lazy after all these afflictions.

Yeah. It feels like my parents created me to bend to their will, yet I did everything for them and even somehow got a comp sci degree being depressed. Still don't have work tho.

If religion did not exist I would be so much happier. Oh and everytime I open up about mental illness no one really understands, most of my friends have now deserted me due to me being open.

It feels like people WANT you to get help and encourage it yet they don't know or don't care or have the capacity to help. I feel used like I am being chewed up and spit for the next person to use. Everyone I talked to about mental health is gone. No where to be seen.

I hate being kind and a doormat. Kind people do not belong in this world. I have everything going for me yet I am this way.

Perhaps the only thing that will get me thru the day is now caffeine and thinking of my demise

I get you man,my family and friends were like that but only some of my friends and some of my family helped me when going through tough times,parents always want you to achieve things regardless of how you feel about it,it's like they want to live vicariously through you and show you off to their friends and family like a trophy instead of thinking about you or your emotions,I agree the deen is shit and I gave it up long ago,I hope you find whatever you are looking for,say safe man.

If there was an almighty, all-forgiving, all-merciful god he would end all that suffering on this planet. Certainly there is no god or it's a sadistic one. I'm sorry you had to go through so much torture in the name of religion. This is so crazy and inhumane. I wish you all the best.

If God exists he is one sick being,having all that power and doing nothing,it's like the richest man in the world passing by a beggar and not even looking at him even though he can change his life with ease.

 

[jar-baby]

I haven't been muslim for about a decade mainly because of having been tortured by two sheikhs to get rid of a jinn,it was an extremely traumatic experience and I believe that really got me to be an atheist because they tortured me over the course of three days,chaining me up and whipping me/beating me,asking the "jinn" what religion it was,I was going through psychosis at the time and after I got treatment for my psychosis I have an extreme hate towards the deen because while I was being tortured I thought if God would allow this to happen to me for no reason and not stop it then he had no power at all,sorry for the rant.

I'm an ex-muslim too. It's horrifying to hear about how mental illnesses are written off as the influences of jinn in Islamic communities. I can't imagine being subject to that kind of torture, and I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through that. Your feelings towards Islam are completely understandable.

I hope you manage to find peace one day. If you ever need to talk or vent, please feel free to pm.

I was actually sent to a faith doctor as well who told me to stop reading the English version of the Quran.

A friend once told me she didn't want to read the Quran in English because she was afraid that if she did, she'd stop believing. You know something is wrong with an ideology when ignorance of its fundamental text can be thought of as a good thing.

I relate pretty hard to feeling like your parents created you to bend to their will. Religion is also a significant part of why I want to ctb. I'm sorry that you have to deal with isolation and a lack of understanding on top of your afflictions. If you want to talk to someone who can understand (at least, to a degree), you're welcome to pm.

 

[hibikikyuxx]

I'm so sorry for the pain you went through and for the abuse you were subjected to. I truly hate religion and the pain it has caused to innocent people like you.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Funny thing, am also ex muslim who was excorcised by sheikhs now instead of demons leaving me, I literally work with them now.