witchcraft
it's too painful to live but I'm too afraid to die
- Nov 27, 2024
- 268
Just a observation / thought.
Sometimes the YouTube algorithm recommends me videos. I won't link but it's called "giving up on everything" with nearly a million views... albeit over a year.
I didn't watch but more than the first little bit but I just realized that I'm one of the people who has suffering that isn't "cool enough" or "artsy enough" for anyone to care. Mine would be banished to the shadow realm by the AI overlords. If it mistakenly made its way into anyone's feed it'd be ignored.
This isn't a criticism of the video or ones like it. Other examples are dudes who put some Black Ops 2 bot match footage on in the background and talk about depression or life struggles and how much the world blows.
I can't imagine what it's like to get so much attention talking about these things. If it got me 50k+ subs like a lot of these channels, I'd be able to monetize and start making money streaming and probably be less depressed. Funny that.
Must be nice. My suffering has always been like mental or spiritual leprosy; nobody wants to be in the same room, let alone be around me for prolonged periods of time or listen to my thoughts and stories for over ten minutes.
Welp. Time to crawl back into my hole and play games, waiting for another "sorry but we've decided to go forth with a different applicant" call for the dozenth-dozenth time. For a job that pays fucking $14 an hour mind you. Lol. Life is such a disgusting joke.
Sometimes the YouTube algorithm recommends me videos. I won't link but it's called "giving up on everything" with nearly a million views... albeit over a year.
I didn't watch but more than the first little bit but I just realized that I'm one of the people who has suffering that isn't "cool enough" or "artsy enough" for anyone to care. Mine would be banished to the shadow realm by the AI overlords. If it mistakenly made its way into anyone's feed it'd be ignored.
This isn't a criticism of the video or ones like it. Other examples are dudes who put some Black Ops 2 bot match footage on in the background and talk about depression or life struggles and how much the world blows.
I can't imagine what it's like to get so much attention talking about these things. If it got me 50k+ subs like a lot of these channels, I'd be able to monetize and start making money streaming and probably be less depressed. Funny that.
Must be nice. My suffering has always been like mental or spiritual leprosy; nobody wants to be in the same room, let alone be around me for prolonged periods of time or listen to my thoughts and stories for over ten minutes.
Welp. Time to crawl back into my hole and play games, waiting for another "sorry but we've decided to go forth with a different applicant" call for the dozenth-dozenth time. For a job that pays fucking $14 an hour mind you. Lol. Life is such a disgusting joke.
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