Stuck in the bargaining phase

[AllTheseQuestions]

If I had done this
If I hadn't of done that
If I had said this

If if if… doesn't exist

The worst part of the day is 2 seconds after I wake up, when my reality comes flooding back and I am overwhelmed with guilt, regret and shame.

 

[bobblong]

To exist is to suffer , unfortunately . We can escape 1/3 of a day by sleeping .

 

[sevennn]

you mean you can't accept suicide? i feel the same

 

[Major Tom]

I have been there, the thought of being a fraud has haunted me and is haunting me still. Would be very embarrassing if u partially put on a show of being suicidal. Thats at least my experience.

 

[ConstantPain]

I hate what hurricanes are doing to other people. Why can't I be the one to have a tree crush me? A lightening strike? A tornado? I've thought about going down to the ocean with a cinder block and just waiting for the storm surge to come but cops would stop me. Why can't mother nature just take me out?!!