restingplace
Student
- Mar 7, 2024
- 183
It's genuinely so hard to resist suicide these last few weeks.
Truth Is I'm not ready for what's ahead of me and I don't like the process of living anyway. I don't like the idea of having to go to work to pay and sustain myself. I don't even like the good ideas like spending time with friends and relaxing in nature.
Don't get me wrong there are definitely times where life feels better, but it always defaults to the urge to disappear.
I've still got a lot I want to do and work out, but i feel as if I can't go on. I just want a break. I don't want to worry.
I fear that the older i get the only purpose I have to my life is to try to improve myself, and when that doesn't work I try to just keep going, but it's not enough.
I'm really struggling not to take myself to the bridge nearby and throw myself off, I've got too much work though.
Sorry for the ramble, I felt as if I was fucking drowning, just needed to get something out
Truth Is I'm not ready for what's ahead of me and I don't like the process of living anyway. I don't like the idea of having to go to work to pay and sustain myself. I don't even like the good ideas like spending time with friends and relaxing in nature.
Don't get me wrong there are definitely times where life feels better, but it always defaults to the urge to disappear.
I've still got a lot I want to do and work out, but i feel as if I can't go on. I just want a break. I don't want to worry.
I fear that the older i get the only purpose I have to my life is to try to improve myself, and when that doesn't work I try to just keep going, but it's not enough.
I'm really struggling not to take myself to the bridge nearby and throw myself off, I've got too much work though.
Sorry for the ramble, I felt as if I was fucking drowning, just needed to get something out
