Struggle

[searchingforpeace]

I have something called functional neurological disorder. I've had it for 10 years. Out of trouble walking motor control yesterday I was shaking so hard that I ended up urinating on myself when I tried to go to the bathroom even sitting down and I'm a guy. I've gone poop on myself before. Very hard to avoid. I feel demoralized and defeated. Like like this forever but I'm conflicted I have a girlfriend that's very nice that I've been seeing for two months and she really cares but there's no answers. I'm going to try to go to transcranial magnetic stimulation but I guess I'm going to try to go in a wheelchair cause but I'm worried about the bathroom.. I'll try to wear depends. I can't believe this is my life I don't know what to do. I have sodium Nitrite And I could end it but I'm so afraid I wanted to live without this disability but I just don't know what to do. I Have been to Endless doctors and nobody has any answers. Like I have no choice if this is the way it's going to be. Yesterday was so afraid I was going to have to go to the ER because I was an unbelievable pain but I knew that they wouldn't give a **** if I went and I would just be for nothing so I guess I have no choice but to die. I say that because I went to the ER countless times and they never did anything to help no one knows how to help I guess but I can't live like this forever

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really horrible what you are going through, it's so cruel how people suffer so much in this existence all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes.

 

[F@#$]

That's terrible, our health care system sucks!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I just read about this condition on the Mayo website. My heart goes out to you. There sure just isn't any shortage of misery to go around in this sorry world, is there? Evidently, there's no medicinal treatment and they don't even know the cause of it, as I'm sure you know. I hope you can find a way to reach some kind of peace you deserve.

 

[Raindancer]

I am glad you have someone who is supporting you. It's very daunting going forward with an illness that sucks our lives away from us. I can totally relate about the ER, I can't tell you how many rights I've layed in agony because it was better than laying in against in the ER. My illness they have no idea why you get it and there is no cure either. I think going in the wheel chair is probably a good move. I have done that too and it really does help. It's OK to live for now and see what happens. It's extra hard after the bad days with the added fear. I will do OK for a bit, have a bad episode and wonder what I am waiting for. I hope your procedure goes well and it makes a difference for you. Anything that helps, even just a bit, can at least make it less brutal.