T
ThatStateOfMind
Enlightened
- Nov 13, 2021
- 1,617
Sorry, this post is gonna be kind of disjointed and all over the place, there's a lot on me right now.
First, I want to say I know I'm lucky to have an internship, but it causes me so much stress. It's not even the work, I actually enjoy that. It's the final presentation, having to seem fake, and wear a suit which I hate. I know for some people, it gives them confidence. It doesn't really do that for me, though.
Following up about the internship, I haven't gotten a clear answer whether I'll be extended but considering it ends next week, I'm super worried the answer is no. I really wanted an extension into my next semester because of financial stresses and the possibility of a full time job after graduation, but it might not come to fruition.
Then, on top of all of this, my ex decides she wants to get the furniture. Truthfully, she has no claim to it but I'm trying to be the bigger person and choose peace so I can get her stuff out of my apartment and block her entirely on everything. The phone number is the last thread I've kept because she needs to get her stuff out.
Finally, beyond those two things, my college capstone is also about to start again and I'm just saying goodbye to anything social. Even if I don't get the extension, I don't think I'll have much free time. If I do get the extension, free time is likely guaranteed to be near 0.
I just keep reminding myself that the furniture and having to replace it is the cost of getting rid of my ex forever, which is honestly not that bad of a price to pay. I also keep reminding myself that the college stuff is temporary and after it, I'm sure I could probably get a job somewhere regardless, it may just be harder.
Anyways, this is just to serve as a vent so I can get it off my chest to hopefully quell the super negative thoughts I'm having right now.
First, I want to say I know I'm lucky to have an internship, but it causes me so much stress. It's not even the work, I actually enjoy that. It's the final presentation, having to seem fake, and wear a suit which I hate. I know for some people, it gives them confidence. It doesn't really do that for me, though.
Following up about the internship, I haven't gotten a clear answer whether I'll be extended but considering it ends next week, I'm super worried the answer is no. I really wanted an extension into my next semester because of financial stresses and the possibility of a full time job after graduation, but it might not come to fruition.
Then, on top of all of this, my ex decides she wants to get the furniture. Truthfully, she has no claim to it but I'm trying to be the bigger person and choose peace so I can get her stuff out of my apartment and block her entirely on everything. The phone number is the last thread I've kept because she needs to get her stuff out.
Finally, beyond those two things, my college capstone is also about to start again and I'm just saying goodbye to anything social. Even if I don't get the extension, I don't think I'll have much free time. If I do get the extension, free time is likely guaranteed to be near 0.
I just keep reminding myself that the furniture and having to replace it is the cost of getting rid of my ex forever, which is honestly not that bad of a price to pay. I also keep reminding myself that the college stuff is temporary and after it, I'm sure I could probably get a job somewhere regardless, it may just be harder.
Anyways, this is just to serve as a vent so I can get it off my chest to hopefully quell the super negative thoughts I'm having right now.