Venting Strange CTB thought

[supergip]

I find my thoughts about CTB very strange. 2019 was my worst year, and it was at the end of that year and the beginning of 2020 when these thoughts first came to me. I would spend the entire day planning and thinking about it, but I also experienced a lot of sadness and would cry for hours on end. Perhaps it was depression.

However, now I no longer feel that sadness. I may be experiencing anxiety, but I am not entirely sure since this thought comes to me so naturally.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me personally, wanting to die is all that I know and it could absolutely never be a sad thing. I see death as being the only relief in such a hellish world, my thoughts of suicide are perfectly logical, I don't think it's strange at all no longer feeling sad about wanting to die. Thinking about suicide is perfectly normal.

 

[supergip]

Exactly what I'm thinking now. Before, I didn't think it was a good idea, but now I see it as normal. However, I still want to live for a few more years. Like a friend of mine says, "I'm too selfish to lose my life." Currently, I'm thinking about having kids. I think I would be a good father, have fun with my child, and all those things. Maybe these thoughts and the uncertainty of what will happen in my future are the only things left for me.

To me personally, wanting to die is all that I know and it could absolutely never be a sad thing. I see death as being the only relief in such a hellish world, my thoughts of suicide are perfectly logical, I don't think it's strange at all no longer feeling sad about wanting to die. Thinking about suicide is perfectly normal.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Sounds like more pro-life hyperbole to me. Just another tactic that a pro-lifer uses to get their message across and make others question their own decisions. Because if a anti-choicer can instill in someone's mind, who is suicidal, to hold off a few years, convincing them that, maybe, things will get better for them, and they won't be suicidal anymore, thereby robbing that person of their own choice, and really making the choice for them. That's how I read this.

 

[supergip]

No, I just really want to know. I don't care about what others do with their lives, as long as it doesn't negatively affect mine, it's fine. I just want to see the other side of a similar thought, another perspective.

Sounds like more pro-life hyperbole to me. Just another tactic that a pro-lifer uses to get their message across and make others question their own decisions. Because if a anti-choicer can instill in someone's mind, who is suicidal, to hold off a few years, convincing them that, maybe, things will get better for them, and they won't be suicidal anymore, thereby robbing that person of their own choice, and really making the choice for them. That's how I read this.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

No, I just really want to know. I don't care about what others do with their lives, as long as it doesn't negatively affect mine, it's fine. I just want to see the other side of a similar thought, another perspective.

Sorry, but I call 'em as I see 'em.

 

[sannoji]

living is always a risk honestly. it could get better or it could get worse. so i don't think it's inherently pro-life rhetoric to just want to wait a while and see if things improve, or if life is worth living. hell, that's what i'm doing. one day i'll be done but for now i want to see what happens. your choice isn't removed if you're the one who decides how long you want to wait to see if anything gets better.