InigoDeux40
Under The Killing Moon
- Jun 16, 2024
- 14
I feel like I'm nearing the point of getting things in order to finally CTB, but it's kind of funny because things are actually improving for me right now. I recently got a more relaxed job where people are supportive for someone who is a undergraduate lacker. This has allowed me to have more freedom to buy things I enjoy. I have also made improvements in my personal hygiene. However, despite these changes, I still feel a sense of obligation to go through with my previous plan. I don't see a future for myself and often feel a sense of pure emptiness consuming me. I'm either feeling utterly piss off or down as hell. I have cutt off all my friends to be alone, I don't want to deal with them. I have never been able to maintain a long-term relationship anyway. My biggest concern now is my family, with whom I live. Although we are not close, I do feel kind of bad for having them walk upon my body. I know I have a lot to sort out, but at least I got kind of a buged now. This is something that has been in my chest for weeks so is pretty much a rant, but I'm curious about your thoughts, like if you're in this similar conflicting position, what are you thinking about doing?
