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NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Warlock
Mar 30, 2020
745
title
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
Of course. Go for it if you can.
 
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UselessBeing

UselessBeing

Member
Sep 3, 2021
48
For me yes 100% but sometimes I can't get out of the slump. If you don't deal with high anxiety issues work could help but then work stress could add to the feeling. All depends on you c: having a lot of different hobbies helps!
 
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Bootleg Astolfo

Bootleg Astolfo

Glorious Bean Plushie
Oct 12, 2020
835
Work made it worse for me, 8 hours of draining boring trash surprisingly did nyot help
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
I used to think that. Now it feels like no matter what, I'm not interested, I'm not motivated enough to start doing anything. Besides, I don't want just any job. I want something good :ahhha:
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,591
In my case, staying at home nearly all day is the best thing for me, I feel more suicidal when I occasionally go somewhere where there is more people. Having jobs makes many people feel worse as it can be stressful. I think it just depends on your personality though. I do think that distractions help, I do not enjoy anything but I have different ways to pass the time. I try to distract myself from my thoughts.
 
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K

Ken Ough

Member
Jan 28, 2021
25
The outside world is contraindicated in my case. Realistically, being an anhedonic shut-in is the most comfortable existence possible.
 
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T

Teardrop2021

Member
Aug 14, 2021
77
For me, staying home definitely kicked off the latest episode of panic attacks/anxiety that spiraled into despair which led to suicidality, so yes. Pre-pandemic I made sure to keep an active schedule and wasn't home much. When the pandemic hit everything collapsed. I'm not sure how to rebuild my outside life since the pandemic is still going on. Hopefully I can make it through.
 
S

seeking2learn

Member
Aug 18, 2021
51
The longer one stays home, the more comfortable and easier it becomes to stay home for longer and longer periods of time. After a long period of time of staying home, you become your own best friend and your own worst enemy. The longer this goes on, the more things that you discover that you dislike about yourself. You start to fully understand that in fact misery does loves company, your company. You accept misery with open arms, because at this point in your life, at least misery is a feeling and feeling something is better than feeling nothingness.
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
Although I like being at home it makes it harder for me to leave the house when I have to.
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
The reality is if you don't work you will eventually become homeless....unless somehow you qualify for disability and this will afford barely anything. Think about what you could do that could generate money so you can become independent.
 
OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
Work is boring and I hate going there. My hobbies are extremely difficult to do because my brain doesn't work how I want it to.
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
974
These days, even my hobbies don't give me a droplet of joy..
 
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S

seeking2learn

Member
Aug 18, 2021
51
Work is boring and I hate going there. My hobbies are extremely difficult to do because my brain doesn't work how I want it to.
What are your hobbies?
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
What are your hobbies?
Hard to say it's a hobby when I don't really do it. I want to do programming. Specifically, graphics programming like oldschool demoscene stuff. Unfortunately, this requires a brain that not only is comfortable using advanced math, but one which can understand abstract concepts. I have proven to myself time and time again through each consecutive failure that I will never understand. It has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but of course, life is beyond unfair and I'm an idiot :)
 
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SosoruzeDosukoi

SosoruzeDosukoi

Tired
Mar 27, 2021
48
Hobbies are nice to help get your mind off of suicidal thoughts, at least partially. And they can be fulfilling or an outlet.
I just got a job last week and I feel its increased my suicidal thoughts, all I do is think about death on my shift. Its a factory job so my mind isnt that preoccupied, I imagine some jobs could distract partially from that if you had to put your thinking to something else.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,595
To partially answer the question in the title: if you really want a hobby then it can help release some of the pressure felt by suicidal thoughts.

Hard to say it's a hobby when I don't really do it. I want to do programming. Specifically, graphics programming like oldschool demoscene stuff. Unfortunately, this requires a brain that not only is comfortable using advanced math, but one which can understand abstract concepts. I have proven to myself time and time again through each consecutive failure that I will never understand. It has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but of course, life is beyond unfair and I'm an idiot :)
Does programming/coding in the area of game development interest you? If the answer is yes then perhaps you could try out Unreal Engine 4/5, because these both feature Blueprint. This is a scripting tool that uses code which is condensed into visual nodes, and are then connected in order to create whatever function you want. It could be said that Blueprint is scripting for non-scripters, but it is still powerful.
 
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U

UnemployedMD

Member
Mar 18, 2021
73
I've been kind of asking myself that lately. All my hobbies are unhealthy/self-destructive activities so it's probably best for me to stay away from them. Regardless, I've reached a point where doing them doesn't even give me enjoyment anymore. They are just distractions that very briefly take me away from the cold reality of hopelessness. I don't really have the energy or desire to form new ones either and would probably be unsuccessful in trying to do so.

I guess it all depends on the person, but I think staying home all the time doesn't exactly increase our will to live. It has also been proven that this kind of lifestyle (especially if you are alone) has detrimental effects on both physical and mental health. It also erodes our sense of self, destroys our self-esteem, and makes us feel like we have no purpose and are a burden on the world. The problem is that many of just have no where else to go. It is a horrible, unfair, and vicious cycle.

I've been a loner for pretty much my entire adult life and have spent the last 6 months basically confined to my home for weeks at a time. Mainly because I feel so disillusioned and screwed over by the outside world that it makes me sick to interact with others. Especially from a place of despair where even getting out of bed and taking care of yourself can be difficult most days, it is far easier and more secure to just stay in place and not go anywhere.
 
Last edited:
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D

doesntevenmatter

Member
Aug 12, 2021
64
In my case it definitely helps. Sometimes now I am so depressed that I literally can't leave the house, but when I worked I forced myself to get up every day to work. Now I am waiting for some "retirement" money so that I can relocate, and it's taking longer than expected and I am out of funds and going crazy being home all the time. Have even applied for some part time jobs to just keep me afloat and keep me busy but haven't heard back. So yeah, for the most part I absolutely think having priorities outside of the home and hobbies and stuff can help.
 
ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
I was sitting at home pretty much 24/7 before I got my current job, im still just as suicidal now. Everyone is different though.
 
S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
I think work helps . I was able to use it as a distraction in my life . Ultimately it's just as useless but it can string you along for awhile and if you manage to have savings you can do other distractions and minimize stress
 
rosie93

rosie93

Student
Aug 28, 2021
152
Yes. It definitely helps. Exercising is great too.
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
Yes. It definitely helps. Exercising is great too.
Yes exercise is great to counter suicidal ideation and I do feel I want to CTB more when cut off from it
 
Sra_TZ

Sra_TZ

Walking Disaster
Mar 6, 2021
65
Earlier, staying at home helped me feel *less* suicidal. These days, I'm past caring. Work is too overwhelming and my depressed brain can't comprehend the concept of "having a hobby".
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
A suitable job definitely helps.
You have the feeling of being needed, a regular daily routine, an income and social contacts.

Being at home all the time often leads to social isolation and too much brooding. It then often becomes more and more difficult to integrate into society.
 
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S

seeking2learn

Member
Aug 18, 2021
51
Although I like being at home it makes it harder for me to leave the house when I have to.
I can relate to this. I used to go out, but now only go to work and straight back home. I go out and shop once per week only because I have to.
 
D

deadverysoon

so f****ing ready
Aug 19, 2021
216
a well paid job would help of course.

but if every chance is taken away from you to get that - then better ctb before ending up in this wheel of having nearly enough for food.

and hobbies - of course this would help.

have enough emotional or financial resource for that? no? yeah then get back to the point "no chance".
 
D

Disco Biscuit

Specialist
Mar 1, 2020
350
Yes, training for a marathon this summer has definitely helped me feel a lot better in the present, even though I think suicide is still something that probably exists in my future.

I started marathon training running on my own in the dark at night. Something quite interesting has happened over the course of my "marathon journey" though - I've started to make friends and connect with people in real life. I've also been posting my progress on Instagram and connecting with other runners on there, some of whom are running the same marathon.

I think when you have goal to focus on and you feel motivated and genuinely enthusiastic about something, other people pick up on that energy and are happy to be part of it. They want to help you and share their experiences and knowledge. I've met some great people over the course of the summer and had the best time. Having my own thing going on has definitely made me care less about the "left out" feeling I generally carry around with me in life.

Also, I've had to make good nutrition and sleep a priority and I think the mental health benefits of these can't be overstated.

I'll be very sad when the marathon is over.
 
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hʚll

hʚll

not real.
Jun 18, 2021
467
i think about suicide 24/7. but being suicidal at home is better than being it outside. outside is scary and horrible. makes me choke and panic
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
To partially answer the question in the title: if you really want a hobby then it can help release some of the pressure felt by suicidal thoughts.


Does programming/coding in the area of game development interest you? If the answer is yes then perhaps you could try out Unreal Engine 4/5, because these both feature Blueprint. This is a scripting tool that uses code which is condensed into visual nodes, and are then connected in order to create whatever function you want. It could be said that Blueprint is scripting for non-scripters, but it is still powerful.
I guess it does. The two areas are closely related. Thanks for your suggestion. I have no idea when I will gather the energy to try it. Usually when I'v e done anything it's mostly other people doing the work and me saying "I don't get it". I'm also quite stubborn and want to do things a certain way (I am obssessed with C above all other languages for instance). I suspect undiagnosed autism / aspergers. Too bad it's the not-smart one. So frustrating to have all this free time only to waste it all.
 
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