
NothingElseMatters
Warlock
- Mar 30, 2020
- 745
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What are your hobbies?Work is boring and I hate going there. My hobbies are extremely difficult to do because my brain doesn't work how I want it to.
Hard to say it's a hobby when I don't really do it. I want to do programming. Specifically, graphics programming like oldschool demoscene stuff. Unfortunately, this requires a brain that not only is comfortable using advanced math, but one which can understand abstract concepts. I have proven to myself time and time again through each consecutive failure that I will never understand. It has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but of course, life is beyond unfair and I'm an idiot :)What are your hobbies?
Does programming/coding in the area of game development interest you? If the answer is yes then perhaps you could try out Unreal Engine 4/5, because these both feature Blueprint. This is a scripting tool that uses code which is condensed into visual nodes, and are then connected in order to create whatever function you want. It could be said that Blueprint is scripting for non-scripters, but it is still powerful.Hard to say it's a hobby when I don't really do it. I want to do programming. Specifically, graphics programming like oldschool demoscene stuff. Unfortunately, this requires a brain that not only is comfortable using advanced math, but one which can understand abstract concepts. I have proven to myself time and time again through each consecutive failure that I will never understand. It has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but of course, life is beyond unfair and I'm an idiot :)
Yes exercise is great to counter suicidal ideation and I do feel I want to CTB more when cut off from itYes. It definitely helps. Exercising is great too.
I can relate to this. I used to go out, but now only go to work and straight back home. I go out and shop once per week only because I have to.Although I like being at home it makes it harder for me to leave the house when I have to.
I guess it does. The two areas are closely related. Thanks for your suggestion. I have no idea when I will gather the energy to try it. Usually when I'v e done anything it's mostly other people doing the work and me saying "I don't get it". I'm also quite stubborn and want to do things a certain way (I am obssessed with C above all other languages for instance). I suspect undiagnosed autism / aspergers. Too bad it's the not-smart one. So frustrating to have all this free time only to waste it all.To partially answer the question in the title: if you really want a hobby then it can help release some of the pressure felt by suicidal thoughts.
Does programming/coding in the area of game development interest you? If the answer is yes then perhaps you could try out Unreal Engine 4/5, because these both feature Blueprint. This is a scripting tool that uses code which is condensed into visual nodes, and are then connected in order to create whatever function you want. It could be said that Blueprint is scripting for non-scripters, but it is still powerful.