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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
Your environment as in your household? oh and thank you for saying that. I've recently noticed I related to many people with BPD. I did not know BPD symptoms until this week.
You're not alone. I probably have CPTSD as well, for reasons obvious to me, and I feel like I often relate to people with BPD. I'm glad someone else feels the connection.

OP I hope you find peace whichever path you take!
 
Last edited:
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A

aprilshowers

The Ignorant
Dec 14, 2021
42
In death, be free.
 
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Kobusu

Kobusu

Writer
Oct 18, 2021
268
I wish you the best, and I hope you find your peace.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Does anyone know how i can mix the sodium nitrite with propranolol. I've got propranolol in tablet form. Ppeh recommends mixing it with the sn mixture and drinking. I'm not sure if it would just dissolve. Any ideas?
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,333
Does anyone know how i can mix the sodium nitrite with propranolol. I've got propranolol in tablet form. Ppeh recommends mixing it with the sn mixture and drinking. I'm not sure if it would just dissolve. Any ideas?
Nt sre mght bd 2 use srch functn & C wht othrs hve dne.
 
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Shiv15

Shiv15

Student
Sep 3, 2020
196
Does anyone know how i can mix the sodium nitrite with propranolol. I've got propranolol in tablet form. Ppeh recommends mixing it with the sn mixture and drinking. I'm not sure if it would just dissolve. Any ideas?
I think you can crush it in a grinder and put it inside the cup. Stir it and let it sit for about 10. Then stir again. A weed grinder would work too I assume.

719 0iMt9L
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
I'm just worried that the grinder makes too much of noise plus in small quantities it might get stuck in the blades.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,289
I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering. I wish you the best with your plans.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
It's scary ngl. Knowing that my death is near...
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,333
It's scary ngl. Knowing that my death is near...
Jst remmbr thre = n/ prssure. No1 wll thnk less whtvr chce u mke eg if u chnge ur mnd 4 n.e reasn.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Jst remmbr thre = n/ prssure. No1 wll thnk less whtvr chce u mke eg if u chnge ur mnd 4 n.e reasn.
It's not about others. I've left myself no choice but to go. So i need to push myself to go. When I know my si is going to kick in I'm going to think of everything I've lost in the last 6 years. I need to make it through. I don't really have a choice.
Nt sre mght bd 2 use srch functn & C wht othrs hve dne.
Yes i searched couldn't really find anything
 
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Shiv15

Shiv15

Student
Sep 3, 2020
196
I
It's not about others. I've left myself no choice but to go. So i need to push myself to go. When I know my si is going to kick in I'm going to think of everything I've lost in the last 6 years. I need to make it through. I don't really have a choice.

Yes i searched couldn't really find anything
I wish you all the best <3 <3. Relax. take a couple of deep breaths and then proceed. :)
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
It's not about others. I've left myself no choice but to go. So i need to push myself to go. When I know my si is going to kick in I'm going to think of everything I've lost in the last 6 years. I need to make it through. I don't really have a choice.

Yes i searched couldn't really find anything
You are not alone. You can still gain. There's no pressure to follow through. Still, yes I know why you feel you need to go. The loneliness of this disorder is mind blowing.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Okay i read a little about it and I've changed my mind about mixing it in. I think I'll probably take it fifteen minutes before i take the SN.
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
I'm not a pro-lifer. But seeing someone give up on fighting BPD reminds me of the same pain I deal with - the loss, the loneliness. And I wish I can help. But if in death the pain can vanish, I'll be a hypocrite to persuade you otherwise. I can only wish you peace, and for me to follow through soon.
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
I'll be waiting🥰
I don't know why I'm hanging on even though I'm crying daily. I don't know why I'm hanging on though I'm in pain from being ill and being abandoned by him. I dunno why I'm hanging on though my bestie ctb and left me alone. I do know I kept hoping but I'm in the process of losing hope. And I'm sorry that a fellow comrade is in so much pain that she needs to leave.

I started a bpd megathread in sanctuary. Check it out?
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
No one can choose for you bbg. I'm sure whatever you decide to do for yourself will be in your best interests.
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
No one can choose for you bbg. I'm sure whatever you decide to do for yourself will be in your best interests.
Yes. You are right. I sometimes wish there's less loss, less loneliness so that it's easier to bear.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,333
It's not about others. I've left myself no choice but to go. So i need to push myself to go. When I know my si is going to kick in I'm going to think of everything I've lost in the last 6 years. I need to make it through. I don't really have a choice.

Cn rel8 2 tht.
 
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liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
There is such a lack of clarity on how to go about using propranolol it's making me really anxious.
 
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D

Deleted member 8975

Guest
It's not about others. I've left myself no choice but to go. So i need to push myself to go. When I know my si is going to kick in I'm going to think of everything I've lost in the last 6 years. I need to make it through. I don't really have a choice.

Yes i searched couldn't really find anything
I think there is always a choice even if we can't see what it is.
 
fruit-loops

fruit-loops

Student
Jun 27, 2021
150
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wanttogetonthebus

wanttogetonthebus

chronically unlucky
Nov 27, 2021
405
That's simply false
For better or for worse. The only thing that's for certain is the destination we all will arrive at also for better or for worse.
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
Hey so i took my first tablet of meto at around 8am today morning. I'll be going through with the 48 hour regime and my sn will be delivered within 24 hours. If everything goes right, tomorrow might be my last day on this earth.
Did your stomach feel anything after taking the meto?
 
liberty_222

liberty_222

psychotic
Nov 28, 2021
361
Did your stomach feel anything after taking the meto?
Not really. I just felt a little anxious taking it but that's pretty much it.
 
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B

beingzettt

Member
Aug 18, 2021
40
Reconsider your decision, you're still young(19) and your bipolar isn't even diagnosed. it might be your assumption that you have bipolar and what did you even do to get rid of that? Did u seek help? U tried medicating? You should give life a chance. anyways ball is in your court if you wish to go then safe travels my friend
 
Rayzieka

Rayzieka

Not Really Here
Apr 28, 2021
637
Reconsider your decision, you're still young(19) and your bipolar isn't even diagnosed. it might be your assumption that you have bipolar and what did you even do to get rid of that? Did u seek help? U tried medicating? You should give life a chance. anyways ball is in your court if you wish to go then safe travels my friend
I agree everyone should always reconsider and see how they feel when they first get the urge to ctb but I'm sure we naturally do that.
Regardless of if its diagnosed or not I believe people know what symptoms they're experiencing in nearly all cases.
Theres many issues with getting assistance with mental disorders and the 'help' can often make things much worse.
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
I agree everyone should always reconsider and see how they feel when they first get the urge to ctb but I'm sure we naturally do that.
Regardless of if its diagnosed or not I believe people know what symptoms they're experiencing in nearly all cases.
Theres many issues with getting assistance with mental disorders and the 'help' can often make things much worse.
I have Borderline and never needed an official diagnosis. Tbh there is the internet these days. I had therapy sessions before and they did nothing for me. It's nice if it works for some.
I'd love for her to reconsider and recover of course. It's always sad to see people go, no matter the age even.
Self death always means the person was greatly suffering.
 
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