Venting Spiraling

[kotonearisato]

It's so ridiculous how the slightest thing can send me spiraling out of control these days. My day has not been too terrible, in the grand scheme of things - worked from home today, got to order food for lunch, it's a low-pain day for me. I even thought I handled a work issue pretty well and was able to solve it...

Except then it was not resolved, even after I had spoken to my supervisor and explained how it was all set. Almost immediately, even over something so stupid like "I probably have to look more into this work issue tomorrow" I'm thinking I'm so stupid for not having ended it yet. That I wouldn't be so nauseated with anxiety if I had CTB'd already. It's ridiculous and I feel so stupid about it, but now I'm sitting on my couch staring into the void frozen with anxiety even though I am off the clock and it's not an urgent issue. And it's not like work really matters, I can get another job, whatever.

But god. Every little thing that goes wrong just feels like the end of the world at this point. I feel like I'm drowning. Like, why am I even still here just to keep feeling like this anytime something happens? I wish the last attempt I'd made as a teenager worked. Ugh.

 

[Lynx.]

I relate to this post, and these patterns of thinking are a fucking nightmare, it just hurts a lot.

Any inconvenience or situation can turn into a mountain of negative emotions, it's just so tiring to deal with this every day. Being human is exhausting.

I hope that the next day turns out to be at least a little better.

Many hugs to you.