@Underscore Thank you for that. I will certainly be trying my best.
I've mostly spent today chatting with staff and taking some practice tests for the ACT. Better results than I expected. I don't even really need to study to get good scores. I'd have to brush up on math to guarantee a perfect score, but I'm not too concerned. Not trying to become an engineer or teacher so that's the least of my worries. My feelings have been all over the place today, ranging from very social and motivated to closed off and melancholy. It's odd that I decided to take anti depressants, I never thought I would. I expressed my concerns about not really knowing my own baseline due to being all over the place and also throwing drugs on top of that over the last 15 years. I'm glad I found a doc that's actually well spoken and will listen to my requests. I can take myself off of this anytime I like and he had no desire to add more meds to this for social anxiety. We're going to see if the citalopram takes the edge off of that and go from there. We had pretty long conversations about brain chemistry and drugs, I think he's happy to have a client who knows a thing or two. It's flattering when a doctor compliments your knowledge. I don't know how to feel about going back to the car after this. I've become very comfortable here and I'll miss the staff. They've been so compassionate and actually give solid advice, guidance, and plenty of help with various tasks. I wish I could pinpoint why Im all over the place with my feelings, I sometimes just zone out and don't want to do anything. It's an odd state to be in and it's nothing new. It makes people think I'm sad, when really I'm just merely existing with no desires in those moments. I belive I might at times have resting murder face, but I'm not sure. I remember walking out of a tunnel on a local trail and there was a mother and her children on the other side with a dog. I was tripping balls at the time and said "hey! Beautiful day today isn't it?" and they looked absolutely scared to death. I've also had plenty of great experiences with strangers, but there are enough negative ones that really make me wonder how people perceive me based on appearance. I didn't take that specific instance personally, I actually found it pretty humorous in that state of mind. I'm so far from the type of person that would inflict harm on that woman and her poor kids. People are just too uptight and scared these days, it's crazy. Anyway, I'm rambling and it's time to stop. I've shared my day, it was another one, tomorrow is another day as well. So many days. I hope you're well tonight if you're reading this.
Hi Nose!
It's pretty normal to have feelings all over the map, especially when you are stressed and/or facing numerous changes, especially when they are huge ones, like you are dealing with.
That story about the mother and her kids and you cracked me up! I wish I could have been there to witness that and laugh with you in that moment.
Sometimes, I get scared by certain people who are homeless, but only when they are yelling and being aggressive. For the most part, I've had wonderful interactions with the homeless, and even took one out to dinner b/c his birthday was nearing and I wanted to celebrate his precious new year with him.
Try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling all over the place. It's normal. I'm not going through even HALF of what you are going through, and I feel that way all the time. I'm sure a lot on here can relate.
I'm glad your visit with your bro was a positive one. Sometimes family can be a good thing, sometimes they can suck, hahaha! I can relate to the black sheep feeling, I feel like the black sheep in my family, too. But, what comforts me is, I always tell myself, well, there has to be at least one black sheep in every family, so I guess I'm the chosen one for that role, hahaha!
I don't know why, but that thought always comforts me.
LostAngel, I was showing Garbage Person support, too! I call wonderful people I love, him included, a nose because noses are very special to me. They symbolize life and hope for me b/c, when my firstborn came into this world, I worried that she was dead because she was so quiet and I am blind, so I'd go to her to touch her nose to make sure she was alive, and warm, gentle air would coume from her tiny nostrils, and relief and love would just wash over me like a warm blanket. So, Nose is not a bad thing, it means love and light and hope and joy in my world.
Well Nose, I must get going, but I'll try to call you in the morning, or you can call me. I have more time tomorrow morning than I did today. I hope we can connect! My ears are craving those delicious Italian cheese and sausage raviolis!
NOSE!
@lostangel
If you read
@Garbage Person previous thread, it is what
@Cupcake calls them.
Great idea to start a thread here, your words really could help support those that are likeminded
Hey, thank you for explaining the situation to LostAngel. I didn't get to the thread until late tonight, so thanks for helping me out!
I know it's a weird thing to say to someone, but I just love everyone on here so much, you included, and noses make me so happy and hopeful and I love to share the story with everyone who cares to listen.
Do you want to be a nose, too?
You rock!
NOSE!
Hi Nose!
It's pretty normal to have feelings all over the map, especially when you are stressed and/or facing numerous changes, especially when they are huge ones, like you are dealing with.
That story about the mother and her kids and you cracked me up! I wish I could have been there to witness that and laugh with you in that moment.
Sometimes, I get scared by certain people who are homeless, but only when they are yelling and being aggressive. For the most part, I've had wonderful interactions with the homeless, and even took one out to dinner b/c his birthday was nearing and I wanted to celebrate his precious new year with him.
Try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling all over the place. It's normal. I'm not going through even HALF of what you are going through, and I feel that way all the time. I'm sure a lot on here can relate.
I'm glad your visit with your bro was a positive one. Sometimes family can be a good thing, sometimes they can suck, hahaha! I can relate to the black sheep feeling, I feel like the black sheep in my family, too. But, what comforts me is, I always tell myself, well, there has to be at least one black sheep in every family, so I guess I'm the chosen one for that role, hahaha!
I don't know why, but that thought always comforts me.
LostAngel, I was showing Garbage Person support, too! I call wonderful people I love, him included, a nose because noses are very special to me. They symbolize life and hope for me b/c, when my firstborn came into this world, I worried that she was dead because she was so quiet and I am blind, so I'd go to her to touch her nose to make sure she was alive, and warm, gentle air would coume from her tiny nostrils, and relief and love would just wash over me like a warm blanket. So, Nose is not a bad thing, it means love and light and hope and joy in my world.
Well Nose, I must get going, but I'll try to call you in the morning, or you can call me. I have more time tomorrow morning than I did today. I hope we can connect! My ears are craving those delicious Italian cheese and sausage raviolis!
NOSE!
Hey, thank you for explaining the situation to LostAngel. I didn't get to the thread until late tonight, so thanks for helping me out!
I know it's a weird thing to say to someone, but I just love everyone on here so much, you included, and noses make me so happy and hopeful and I love to share the story with everyone who cares to listen.
Do you want to be a nose, too?
You rock!
NOSE!
Oh, I was trying to quote @Funkymonk's reply and thank them for explaining about the noses, but it didn't quote them, so, @Funkymonk, I was thanking you for explaining the situation to LostAngel about the noses and asking you if you wanted to be a nose, too? Because you are awesome, and we're all in this fight together.
NOSE!
