Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,502
exhus gives me disney+
sits here scrolling then hand the remote back
"you cant find anything to watch?"
"nope. i dont watch tv"
hes been with me for almost 10 years and doesnt know anything
i spent 99% of my time outside or at school.
i enjoy learning.
not sitting on my ass like youve mostly had me doing this whole time.
i dont want to wake up and turn the tv on. i want to wake up and go outside and watch the sunrise. see the animals in the undergrowth.
tv is a mindless thing i dont pay much attention to or care about. i can have every single thing out there to watch at my disposal. if im not just chilling at the end of the day.
im
not
interested
and now thanks to my literally lifelong anorexia (useless f'en mother) i literally cant go outside. i struggle going to the bathroom.
why the f*ck should i want to kms!? hes the one f'en me up. f him im so sick of this bs...
i want to go see the squirrels skittering up the trees.
im starting to feel a physical reaction.. this is pissing me off.... hes pissing me off
"is living with me really that bad?"
I NEVER FUCKING DO ANYTHING THAT I WANT TO IN LITERALLY HALF OF MY FUCKING LIFE
OMG YOURE A FUCKING NUMBSKULL YES!!!!!!!
I was literally fucking happier with my abusive parents that treated my friends better than they did me. i just loved walking into walmart as a child picking out toys for my friends that i didnt have for my friends that already had everything because my family was poorer than all my friends (ive literally been the poorest person i know my whole life). BUT ID RATHER FUCKING GO BACK TO THAT!!!! AT LEAST I WENT OUTSIDE!!!!!
ive probably been outside as much in these last 8yrs (?im not doing the math) as i was in a week before moving in.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
I HAVE TO SOMEHOW NOT HURT MYSELF BECAUSE YOURE AN ASS. THIS IS FUCKING FAIR
oh, and that doesnt even included being r*ped all the f'en time that i normalized. i fucking told you no. i fucking told you im with someone else. and yet you still put your fucking hands on me.
"is living with me really that bad?"
I WANT TO BASH A MIRROR OVER YOUR FUCKING SKULL!!!! dont worry about looking in it to figure it out
"everything seems normal then all the sudden youre upset with me" maybe...crazy thought but just maybe, everything isnt fucking ok and you should try listening sometime. just maybe ive normalized it instead of crying all the time because i have no idea why i would, i have nothing but you, my abuser around. youre not gonna give a fuck what im crying about
on the plus side i enjoyed last night playing battleship with my bf untili midnight. it wasnt as good as it could be considering just computers... but i put our song on that we got to slow dance to and sent it to him just before midnight and we sent each other kisses....it wasnt perfect but it was pretty perfect for what it is...
sits here scrolling then hand the remote back
"you cant find anything to watch?"
"nope. i dont watch tv"
hes been with me for almost 10 years and doesnt know anything
i spent 99% of my time outside or at school.
i enjoy learning.
not sitting on my ass like youve mostly had me doing this whole time.
i dont want to wake up and turn the tv on. i want to wake up and go outside and watch the sunrise. see the animals in the undergrowth.
tv is a mindless thing i dont pay much attention to or care about. i can have every single thing out there to watch at my disposal. if im not just chilling at the end of the day.
im
not
interested
and now thanks to my literally lifelong anorexia (useless f'en mother) i literally cant go outside. i struggle going to the bathroom.
why the f*ck should i want to kms!? hes the one f'en me up. f him im so sick of this bs...
i want to go see the squirrels skittering up the trees.
im starting to feel a physical reaction.. this is pissing me off.... hes pissing me off
"is living with me really that bad?"
I NEVER FUCKING DO ANYTHING THAT I WANT TO IN LITERALLY HALF OF MY FUCKING LIFE
OMG YOURE A FUCKING NUMBSKULL YES!!!!!!!
I was literally fucking happier with my abusive parents that treated my friends better than they did me. i just loved walking into walmart as a child picking out toys for my friends that i didnt have for my friends that already had everything because my family was poorer than all my friends (ive literally been the poorest person i know my whole life). BUT ID RATHER FUCKING GO BACK TO THAT!!!! AT LEAST I WENT OUTSIDE!!!!!
ive probably been outside as much in these last 8yrs (?im not doing the math) as i was in a week before moving in.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
I HAVE TO SOMEHOW NOT HURT MYSELF BECAUSE YOURE AN ASS. THIS IS FUCKING FAIR
oh, and that doesnt even included being r*ped all the f'en time that i normalized. i fucking told you no. i fucking told you im with someone else. and yet you still put your fucking hands on me.
"is living with me really that bad?"
I WANT TO BASH A MIRROR OVER YOUR FUCKING SKULL!!!! dont worry about looking in it to figure it out
"everything seems normal then all the sudden youre upset with me" maybe...crazy thought but just maybe, everything isnt fucking ok and you should try listening sometime. just maybe ive normalized it instead of crying all the time because i have no idea why i would, i have nothing but you, my abuser around. youre not gonna give a fuck what im crying about
on the plus side i enjoyed last night playing battleship with my bf untili midnight. it wasnt as good as it could be considering just computers... but i put our song on that we got to slow dance to and sent it to him just before midnight and we sent each other kisses....it wasnt perfect but it was pretty perfect for what it is...
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