Venting social anxiety

[snowyyy]

i hate going outside.
there are a lot of people everywhere and I, through my social anxiety and very low self-esteem, get hit even harder.
i feel like everyone is staring at me, like i'm some kind of leper, different. this is not a delusion, it really happens.
i have no idea why. i don't dress extravagantly, i dress as plainly as i can. i don't wear makeup. and still i feel those eyes of theirs on me everywhere.
i'm sick of it, i get into some kind of panic and on top of that i often have a situation where older men accost me. and i'm paralyzed. how are such situations supposed to make me better at fighting my phobia?
it is all disgusting, I am afraid to go into a store and talk to the cashier.
so much I don't know how to deal with it, I am concerned about everything is what someone will say to me or how they will look at me.
it's tiring to deal with it all, i wish i could disappear

 

[A Dream of a Dream]

I went through a long period of social anxiety and can empathize. Our anxiety can make it seem like people are always staring. Some might be, there are always some people who are more observer type and looky-loo's. Most are not, there are just so many random people we cross paths with just by being outside. Especially in higher density places like cities. There are some men definitely you want to be wary of, the predatory kind that look for weakness. And I use to tense up in line waiting for cashier also but most could care less, they just want to process your order and get through the day. It did get better over time, the more i interacted, little by little.

 

[wehadsomanyplans2]

I have massive social anxiety too. I feel you. Wishing you freedom from anxiety!!