Sober From SH For A Week Now :)

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Apologies if my image triggers anyone. However, I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been sober from cutting myself for a week now so I'm happy about that. I really appreciate the kindness of people here. I love the no judgement atmosphere and people here keep me alive by allowing me to express my feelings and not shutting me down like my so called friends do and usually they think not responding to my cries for help with majestically make my feelings and thought disappear. My birth family are the cause of my pain and the reason why I have always suffered like I have. I prefer not to talk about my birth family but I am no contact with them.

Happy sobriety to anyone who struggles with self harm to manage emotional pain and has been free from that for a long time or even just for a week like me :)

Spoiler: TW SH image

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm glad you've managed to refrain from sh for a week.
I know that giving up addictions of any kind is often very difficult.
I was no contact with my family ( parents ) too before they passed away.
In most cases no contact is for the best, especially when they have harmed us.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

I'm glad you've managed to refrain from sh for a week.
I know that giving up addictions of any kind is often very difficult.
I was no contact with my family ( parents ) too before they passed away.
In most cases no contact is for the best, especially when they have harmed us.

Thank you for your kind words. My birth family are the only reason I ever SH. I might not have them in my life but my PTSD caused by them can be hard to live with due to the nightmares/flashbacks. However, I don't want to focus on the people who destroyed my life and me as a person from an extremely young age. I hope you're ok and once again thank you for your kindness :)

 

[In-between]

Apologies if my image triggers anyone. However, I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been sober from cutting myself for a week now so I'm happy about that. I really appreciate the kindness of people here. I love the no judgement atmosphere and people here keep me alive by allowing me to express my feelings and not shutting me down like my so called friends do and usually they think not responding to my cries for help with majestically make my feelings and thought disappear. My birth family are the cause of my pain and the reason why I have always suffered like I have. I prefer not to talk about my birth family but I am no contact with them.

Happy sobriety to anyone who struggles with self harm to manage emotional pain and has been free from that for a long time or even just for a week like me :)

A week is fantastic. I also have PTSD (complex) and I used to cut but I'm in a space now where I want to give myself the life that child deserved but didn't get. I think she suffered enough and I'm not great at caring for 'her' but I want to do better by her. This helps me on the up and down journey of healing from trauma.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Thank you for your kind words. My birth family are the only reason I ever SH. I might not have them in my life but my PTSD caused by them can be hard to live with due to the nightmares/flashbacks. However, I don't want to focus on the people who destroyed my life and me as a person from an extremely young age. I hope you're ok and once again thank you for your kindness :)

Thank you.
Yes, I completely understand not wanting to focus on them. My mother was a narcissist and my stepfather a paedophile.
The less these evil people are in my head the better. Yet its often difficult to forget because I have ptsd and nightmares of them.

 

[livinginsorrow]

Apologies if my image triggers anyone. However, I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been sober from cutting myself for a week now so I'm happy about that. I really appreciate the kindness of people here. I love the no judgement atmosphere and people here keep me alive by allowing me to express my feelings and not shutting me down like my so called friends do and usually they think not responding to my cries for help with majestically make my feelings and thought disappear. My birth family are the cause of my pain and the reason why I have always suffered like I have. I prefer not to talk about my birth family but I am no contact with them.

Happy sobriety to anyone who struggles with self harm to manage emotional pain and has been free from that for a long time or even just for a week like me :)

Spoiler: TW SH image

i just wanted to say i'm so proud of you and happy you were able to do this! it's no easy feat giving up on something that can be a crutch to subside the painful feelings inside. i don't have much more to add that the other lovely people here haven't - but i'm sorry you've had difficulties throughout your life. you're so strong for overcoming this and i wish you nothing but greatness as you move forward!!!

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

A week is fantastic. I also have PTSD (complex) and I used to cut but I'm in a space now where I want to give myself the life that child deserved but didn't get. I think she suffered enough and I'm not great at caring for 'her' but I want to do better by her. This helps me on the up and down journey of healing from trauma.

I'm so proud of you! I am diagnosed with PTSD to, my birth family's actions also caused me to have BPD. Well done on your sobriety! You're amazing, strong and important. I want you and that little girl inside you who has turned into a strong and courageous women to know that :)

Thank you.
Yes, I completely understand not wanting to focus on them. My mother was a narcissist and my stepfather a paedophile.
The less these evil people are in my head the better. Yet its often difficult to forget because I have ptsd and nightmares of them.

I completely understand how you feel from a personal perspective. One of my birth parents is also a paedophile/narcisist/ pathalogical liar and narcisist. Two of its children are also paedophiles, one is a psychopath and malignant narcisist with munchausen by proxy and who also suffers with pathalogical lieing. Unfortunately, there is an 18 year age gap between I and one of it's children and I believe a 16 or 17 year age gap between one of it's other children. Sometimes such a large age gap enables one to take advantage. I don't speak to that thing or any of its children. So I understand how you feel and it's the main reason I am estranged from the entire birth family. I was at the age of 15 coerced and pressured into denying I was sexually abused by one of my perpetrators by a social worker infront of it's children who didn't molest me but repeatedly bullied me over the issue until I naively told them the lie they so desperately wanted to hear (said it didn't happen to try and shut them up after a social worker basically questioned me over it infront of my main abuser and it's children) the whole flight or fight scenario kicked in. I was threatened by my birth family into denying it anyway from an extremely young age. I hope you're ok now. I have very frightening nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes I feel that I'm still being sexually abused so that's quite scary when I experience a flash back. My other birth parent was a violent alchoholic who ended their life when I was a baby from what I have been told.

i just wanted to say i'm so proud of you and happy you were able to do this! it's no easy feat giving up on something that can be a crutch to subside the painful feelings inside. i don't have much more to add that the other lovely people here haven't - but i'm sorry you've had difficulties throughout your life. you're so strong for overcoming this and i wish you nothing but greatness as you move forward!!!

Thank you! you are such a sweet and kind person. Thanks for making me feel good about myself and making my day brighter. Have a blessed day :)

 

[Akanea]

Good job Kitty! Take it slow, each day you continue to be sober is a big win!

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Good job Kitty! Take it slow, each day you continue to be sober is a big win!

Thank you! You're so sweet :) I really appreciate the encouraging words

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm so proud of you! I am diagnosed with PTSD to, my birth family's actions also caused me to have BPD. Well done on your sobriety! You're amazing, strong and important. I want you and that little girl inside you who has turned into a strong and courageous women to know that :)

I completely understand how you feel from a personal perspective. One of my birth parents is also a paedophile/narcisist/ pathalogical liar and narcisist. Two of its children are also paedophiles, one is a psychopath and malignant narcisist with munchausen by proxy and who also suffers with pathalogical lieing. Unfortunately, there is an 18 year age gap between I and one of it's children and I believe a 16 or 17 year age gap between one of it's other children. Sometimes such a large age gap enables one to take advantage. I don't speak to that thing or any of its children. So I understand how you feel and it's the main reason I am estranged from the entire birth family. I was at the age of 15 coerced and pressured into denying I was sexually abused by one of my perpetrators by a social worker infront of it's children who didn't molest me but repeatedly bullied me over the issue until I naively told them the lie they so desperately wanted to hear (said it didn't happen to try and shut them up after a social worker basically questioned me over it infront of my main abuser and it's children) the whole flight or fight scenario kicked in. I was threatened by my birth family into denying it anyway from an extremely young age. I hope you're ok now. I have very frightening nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes I feel that I'm still being sexually abused so that's quite scary when I experience a flash back. My other birth parent was a violent alchoholic who ended their life when I was a baby from what I have been told.

Thank you! you are such a sweet and kind person. Thanks for making me feel good about myself and making my day brighter. Have a blessed day :)

Thank you.
I can relate to much of what you have experienced, and I am still having intrusive thoughts over what happened, yet for me the nightmares are the biggest problem. And yes, flashbacks are frightening.
Congratulations once again on staying sober.
Sending you love and wishing you well.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Thank you.
I can relate to much of what you have experienced, and I am still having intrusive thoughts over what happened, yet for me the nightmares are the biggest problem. And yes, flashbacks are frightening.
Congratulations once again on staying sober.
Sending you love and wishing you well.

Thank you Nembutal :)

I also suffer with intrusive thoughts about the sexual abuse. I find a psychological tool called "grounding" extremely helpful. If I suddenly start thinking about the sexual abuse (almost daily, sometimes a couple of times a day) I looked around the room I am in and start telling myself what I can see. For example, if I am in my bedroom and experience an intrusive thought about the sexual abuse, I will look around my bedroom and say out loud what I can see. For example, I might say "I can see a painting with a cat on it, the cat is smiling, it's got grey fur and stripes, it's teeth are pearly white, I see a desk it is white and has oak patterns along it, it has four legs, they're the shape of cylinders, they're long, I can see a pencil case it has ruby red strawberries on it that have mustard yellow tear drop shaped seeds on them". That's all an example of grounding. The idea is by focusing on what you can see and saying it out loud you stop focusing and forget on the memory that's going to cause your trauma and psychological pain. It's a useful way of distracting yourself.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Thank you Nembutal :)

I also suffer with intrusive thoughts about the sexual abuse. I find a psychological tool called "grounding" extremely helpful. If I suddenly start thinking about the sexual abuse (almost daily, sometimes a couple of times a day) I looked around the room I am in and start telling myself what I can see. For example, if I am in my bedroom and experience an intrusive thought about the sexual abuse, I will look around my bedroom and say out loud what I can see. For example, I might say "I can see a painting with a cat on it, the cat is smiling, it's got grey fur and stripes, it's teeth are pearly white, I see a desk it is white and has oak patterns along it, it has four legs, they're the shape of cylinders, they're long, I can see a pencil case it has ruby red strawberries on it that have mustard yellow tear drop shaped seeds on them". That's all an example of grounding. The idea is by focusing on what you can see and saying it out loud you stop focusing and forget on the memory that's going to cause your trauma and psychological pain. It's a useful way of distracting yourself.

I'm happy that grounding is helping you, that's wonderful. It's a good method for focusing the mind and it helps me a little too.
I sometimes combine grounding with having a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it to cause a little pain method.
Also focusing my mind on my breath at my abdomen sometimes helps while counting backwards from a 100.
I guess it's all about focusing and distracting the mind to a point where there is no room for the intrusive thoughts to take root and build up their negative energy.

 

[In-between]

I'm so proud of you! I am diagnosed with PTSD to, my birth family's actions also caused me to have BPD. Well done on your sobriety! You're amazing, strong and important. I want you and that little girl inside you who has turned into a strong and courageous women to know that :)

I completely understand how you feel from a personal perspective. One of my birth parents is also a paedophile/narcisist/ pathalogical liar and narcisist. Two of its children are also paedophiles, one is a psychopath and malignant narcisist with munchausen by proxy and who also suffers with pathalogical lieing. Unfortunately, there is an 18 year age gap between I and one of it's children and I believe a 16 or 17 year age gap between one of it's other children. Sometimes such a large age gap enables one to take advantage. I don't speak to that thing or any of its children. So I understand how you feel and it's the main reason I am estranged from the entire birth family. I was at the age of 15 coerced and pressured into denying I was sexually abused by one of my perpetrators by a social worker infront of it's children who didn't molest me but repeatedly bullied me over the issue until I naively told them the lie they so desperately wanted to hear (said it didn't happen to try and shut them up after a social worker basically questioned me over it infront of my main abuser and it's children) the whole flight or fight scenario kicked in. I was threatened by my birth family into denying it anyway from an extremely young age. I hope you're ok now. I have very frightening nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes I feel that I'm still being sexually abused so that's quite scary when I experience a flash back. My other birth parent was a violent alchoholic who ended their life when I was a baby from what I have been told.

Thank you! you are such a sweet and kind person. Thanks for making me feel good about myself and making my day brighter. Have a blessed day :)

Thank you for your kindness. I really appreciated reading that earlier today. Sorry it took me a while to acknowledge it - I am not the most tech-savvy person and get confused about how to reply to some posts.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Thank you for your kindness. I really appreciated reading that earlier today. Sorry it took me a while to acknowledge it - I am not the most tech-savvy person and get confused about how to reply to some posts.

You're very welcome :)

I'm happy that grounding is helping you, that's wonderful. It's a good method for focusing the mind and it helps me a little too.
I sometimes combine grounding with having a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it to cause a little pain method.
Also focusing my mind on my breath at my abdomen sometimes helps while counting backwards from a 100.
I guess it's all about focusing and distracting the mind to a point where there is no room for the intrusive thoughts to take root and build up their negative energy.

I completely agree. I might also try the rubber band method :)

 

[Enlighten]

Proud of you for reaching this milestone. The start is always the hardest, so i hope you can stick with it!

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Proud of you for reaching this milestone. The start is always the hardest, so i hope you can stick with it!

Thank you :) I really appreciate your kind words, have a blessed day x