Venting SO SAD

[Unattainable666]

It's so sad to look back at my life and see the minute my life went to shit. 1989 yup the year they took Chris' life. The day she died I died too - not physically - life isn't that kind - but emotionally, physically, spiritually. Now I know there is no god, there is no happiness, no hope. Only darkness day and night. So why am i still here? Oh, I have my method underneath my cabinet in the kitchen. I'm ready. SI keeps kicking in. CTB is permanent. But I'm not sure how much more of this shit show I can take. How much more mental and emotional abuse. Every day I wake up I wish I had died during the night. Death becomes me. I can't remember the last time I laughed - really laughed has it really been over 30 years? I believe so. I hope soon that I become so depressed I don't care - my instincts are no longer intact and I can just leave permanently. SI is a horrible thing.

 

[mortuarymary]

I don't know your story. I just wanted to send you a hug.

 

[Unattainable666]

I don't know your story. I just wanted to send you a hug.

Thank u I needed a hug

I don't know your story. I just wanted to send you a hug.

Thank u I needed a hug

 

[mortuarymary]

I'm here if you want to chat xx

 

[iusedtobehappy]

I know when we feel like this, which for some of us is all the time, nothing anyone can say will make us laugh or feel better but you and I have talked and I have to say you amaze me. You are an incredibly good person with a heart of gold who I can tell, always does right by people. You are genuinely a light in this dark world. So at the very least, don't be hard on yourself. You don't deserve that and you never did. Other people did things that have caused your depression and I know that is very very sad and tragic. But don't beat yourself up. If they were around, I would say beat them up. But not you. You and your sweet precious kitty deserve happiness and joy.