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TraumaEscapee:)

TraumaEscapee:)

I hate my birth family
Apr 30, 2023
217
Guys, I'm going today (CTB)

SN method. Please no one ask about sources or ask any others for this info on my thread. I don't want to be reading messages like that as I die. If you want to know this information please make your own threads. It's easy to be desensitised to this but I'm a real human with real feelings who's taking my life tonight and I'd just like some support and not to feel so alone.

I've got everything, metoclopramide, SN, just absolutely everything I would need.

The only thing I'm a little unsure about is the fasting amount of hours. I can't go on an empty stomach as I've heard that doesn't help and can induce sickness.

I don't want to speak about the reasons why I've made the decision but it's final. I'm in a lot of pain and that's all I'm saying.

Please just be respectful and I have Stan's guide already but is there anything I need to know? Do I need propanol? I already have some should I use it or not?

And lastly whether you're all religious or not please pray I'm in heaven or go somewhere better. I've been in hell on earth for a long time my whole life really. I don't want to suffer anymore. I'm done. Please just say a prayer. I'll say one before I commit the act praying for god's forgiveness.

I will not be missed or cared about and my death will not be noticed for weeks or months I love alone and no one cares about me. I'll probably be discovered months later. Or years even. I have no family I grew up in the care system because of them. They are alive somewhere though. I've lost everything that meant anything to me. I'll be remembered as a bad person with a personality disorder and complex PTSD I want it all to be over. Just please anyone with SN Advise x
 
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sadalways

sadalways

My birth was an error
Sep 5, 2024
294
I'm really sorry that it's gotten to this point, but if you are certain about this, i do hope the best for you, i hope you find peace and whatever comes next treats you way better than this world. I can't really advise much on SN, i've read mixed things about propanol, and about fasting i imagine if you don't fast and end up being sick you will puke more than on an empty stomach, other people may know more, but i will pray for you if that is what you wish for. 🫂
 
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P

Peace2peace

Specialist
Dec 26, 2024
363
Peace to u but if u can inform the authority or anyone close of your body when u are gone at least
 
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W

waterrrrrrrrrbottel

Experienced
Jul 18, 2022
244
good luck buddy. i'll keep you, as i keep many suicidal people, in my thoughts and wishes that they get what they desire.
 
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U

Unspoken7612

Arcanist
Jul 14, 2024
471
It sounds like you're in a lot of pain, experiencing hell on Earth, feeling unloved and uncared for, and that people will view you as a bad person.

While I want to respect people's religious beliefs, I do also think that it becomes ethically fraught to do so in a matter of life and death.

I don't think suicide is wrong, but I do strongly believe people shouldn't kill themselves unless they're completely expecting oblivion. Killing yourself to "go to a better place" is just a waste. All the evidence suggests that nothing survives death, and when you die you will be obliterated.

Now, obviously you're an adult and capable of coming to your own conclusions, which might well be different from mine, but be honest with yourself - our only reason to believe in any afterlife is blind faith. If you're staking your life on that possibility, I'd urge you not to. Put your religious beliefs aside for a moment - would you still want to kill yourself if it was a choice between living and non-existence, without the possibility of Heaven? If not, then I strongly suggest you reconsider.

I think it's unlikely people view you as badly as you worry they do. It seems very likely some people will be shocked and saddened by your death. It is ultimately your choice, of course.

I intend to fast for eight hours.
 
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P

Peace2peace

Specialist
Dec 26, 2024
363
If u need any advice u can dm me as av explain sn ctb before
 
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OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Warlock
Nov 25, 2024
714
I'll say a prayer even though I'm not religious. I believe that you can only go to a better place compared to where you have been. The SaSu family is losing a member, as you left your footprint here with us. Be at peace on your journey, sending you love :hug:
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
4,003
I'm sorry you had to come back to this decision. I hope you find peace.
 
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Roadrunner

Roadrunner

Specialist
Mar 18, 2024
304
Good luck, I hope your journey to peace is gentle.
 
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CravingPeace

CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
324
We love you, friend. Keep us updated and I hope you find the peace you are searching for.
 
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YuanKinnie

YuanKinnie

zxyanchen
May 16, 2024
5
I hope you find the peace you're looking for. Good luck.
 
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TraumaEscapee:)

TraumaEscapee:)

I hate my birth family
Apr 30, 2023
217
If u need any advice u can dm me as av explain sn ctb beforok x
Messaged you
We love you, friend. Keep us updated and I hope you find the peace you are searching for.
Yep I'll keep you all updated on my method, effects, and everything else but I'll try and balance it with saying bye to two people. I'll say bye first to them and as I'm dieing I'll keep you all updated on my progress through the dieing process as it will take between 40mins to 4 hours I've heard.
 
Last edited:
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Elzar

Elzar

Member
Feb 11, 2024
74
I'll pray for you.
 
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TraumaEscapee:)

TraumaEscapee:)

I hate my birth family
Apr 30, 2023
217
I'll pray for you.
Thank you. It means alot ❤️ I'm still fasting so I've got another couple hours until I hit the 8 hour mark then I'm going to do it. I'm doing it at night. It will be much more comfortable for me and plus I will have fasted long enough x
 
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995.

995.

Member
Dec 30, 2024
39
I'm sorry it has come to this point for you 💗

How are you feeling about it? Do you have any last minute regrets, or wishes that you're thinking about?
 
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InTheStars

InTheStars

Member
Feb 16, 2025
40
Please dear Jesus give strenght to this person and remove all evil from them. Let them feel Your unconditional love. Amen.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,421
Peace on your journey OP. May your Angels/spirit guides help you cross over peacefully and be there to greet you
 
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TraumaEscapee:)

TraumaEscapee:)

I hate my birth family
Apr 30, 2023
217
I'm sorry it has come to this point for you 💗

How are you feeling about it? Do you have any last minute regrets, or wishes that you're thinking about?
Scared, only regret is that I didn't find a cure for my childhood trauma in time. I regret how I treated a man and people he knew in moments of anger.
Peace on your journey OP. May your Angels/spirit guides help you cross over peacefully and be there to greet you
Thank you. It will happen in the next few hours. My 8 hour fast isn't completely up yet. I've got just under 4 more hours.
Please dear Jesus give strenght to this person and remove all evil from them. Let them feel Your unconditional love. Amen.
Thank you, means more than you'll ever know.
 
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A_Watcher

A_Watcher

New Member
Mar 22, 2023
2
Good luck for your journey, Brother/Sister.
I'm not religious, but I'll still get a prayer for you, maybe it gets somewhere.
We love you
 
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SufferingNSilence

SufferingNSilence

Member
Sep 14, 2024
33
🙏🏻**Prayer just said for You**🙏🏻

~May You find an end to your suffering here & Rest in eternal Peace~🌹
 
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A

Aprilfarewell4

Elementalist
Apr 9, 2024
805
i'm praying for all of us. I am doing SN too, without anything but alcohol. you are not alone. I hope it's peaceful and that people like Watts, tolle, hanh are right, and that will will be born again into something better than the hell some of us find ourselves in. good luck and peace be with you.
 
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Reactions: TraumaEscapee:) and ForeverCaHa
Z

zardofan

So very tired of trying
Feb 11, 2025
59
Idk if it helps but I believe you were pure goodness when you came into the world. I'm sorry for what happened with your birth family and all the subsequent trauma and suffering. You did not deserve that. I hope your transition is not painful. You are loved, right in this moment. I hope you can feel it. I hope you can believe it. Hugs.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
1,616
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🌹💔
 
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C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,190
I was a Christian for years. I will pray the traditional prayer for your soul.

I am now a practicing "spiritualist". I have my own beliefs as to how this all goes. So ... This evening I will light a candle at my altar for you and ask the Spirits to guide you and keep you safe. Please know that the realm I believe you will enter upon your passing is more joyful and glorious than any of us can imagine. And you will find the peace you did not have in this life and that you so richly deserve. Blessed be, my friend.

I know you don't think so, but you will be missed. 🫂🫂🫂
 
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ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
439
Do let us know how you are doing if you want to and are able to.

I also plan on using SN to CTB in just over 4 weeks.

You will be in my thoughts.
 
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J

Jimmy.

Member
Oct 18, 2024
23
We've all got our issues so no judgement here.

Hope your transition is as smooth as possible.
 
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Z

zardofan

So very tired of trying
Feb 11, 2025
59
Thinking of you. 💜
 
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R

rs929

Mage
Dec 18, 2020
523
I don't know what you've been through. But please remember that it's no shame if you decide to pospone it and catch the bus in another occasion. If you still decide to move forward with it today, I wish you peace. Hugs.
 
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Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

M.A. in Heartbreak and Motorsports
Feb 3, 2025
453
It's been a while since you posted and I can only hope you were successful, that you're free of this cruel and unfair world and that you're in peace. Don't worry about heaven or hell, if there is a God they can't judge us for making a choice regarding this valley of tears they created.
 
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Grh5116

Grh5116

Member
Mar 22, 2025
8
Messaged you

Yep I'll keep you all updated on my method, effects, and everything else but I'll try and balance it with saying bye to two people. I'll say bye first to them and as I'm dieing I'll keep you all updated on my progress through the dieing process as it will take between 40mins to 4 hours I've heard.
I thought it was much faster. 40 min to 4 hrs!
I hope you find your peace.
I wish I could go now too.
 

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