M
MideonNViscera
Student
- Nov 26, 2021
- 146
Well, here I am. I have ibuprofen, benzos, Seroquel, antacids, two water bottles with 50ml of water and two baggies with 25g of SN each.
I'm in my car, in a parking lot. My 8 hour fast will be complete at 4:30, which is an hour and 20 minutes from now. By 5:30 it will be dark.
I'm anxious to get it over with. I have been sitting in my car for over 3 hours now just chewing my fingernails until they bleed and smoking.
I put my back seats down and have a pillow in the trunk so I can lay down. My phone doesn't charge well in my car but I think it will hold out long enough that I can listen to music as I go.
Everyone who matters has already been told the things that matter, and nobody is going to be surprised. It's the best I could do, but it also means I have literally nothing to do while I wait.
I know I didn't deserve for my life to end up this way, and I know it could have been so much better. It did, and it wasn't though. It makes me fucking furious, but all I could do with that fury is hurt people so it's pointless. I can only turn it inwards, and do the ultimate hurt to myself.
I'm in my car, in a parking lot. My 8 hour fast will be complete at 4:30, which is an hour and 20 minutes from now. By 5:30 it will be dark.
I'm anxious to get it over with. I have been sitting in my car for over 3 hours now just chewing my fingernails until they bleed and smoking.
I put my back seats down and have a pillow in the trunk so I can lay down. My phone doesn't charge well in my car but I think it will hold out long enough that I can listen to music as I go.
Everyone who matters has already been told the things that matter, and nobody is going to be surprised. It's the best I could do, but it also means I have literally nothing to do while I wait.
I know I didn't deserve for my life to end up this way, and I know it could have been so much better. It did, and it wasn't though. It makes me fucking furious, but all I could do with that fury is hurt people so it's pointless. I can only turn it inwards, and do the ultimate hurt to myself.