Hi -
This site helped me obtain SN a couple years ago. It was comforting knowing that I had it as an option and in a odd way therapeutic to think I had a way out if things got bad. I have tried most of the major therapies and although I have improved somewhat - living with anxiety and depression is so hard for me.
I am in my 50s and live in the West. I have a career and savings. I had plenty of friends, a decent family and by any measure I have a comfortable life. But I have verbalized suicidal intent since I could talk. My family was very religious and I used to pray that God would let someone have my life who could enjoy it.
Paradoxically my getting treatment and the slight recovery I have had has made me think more about using my SN. I was paralyzed and housebound by depression. I am thinking much better and it is clear to me I am not going to get my life to a place that makes me want to live it. It's just hard to function in the way I want to. I wish I was able to live a fuller life and not hate myself but if it hasn't happened yet it isnt going to happen. I will miss my friends and family but dont want to burden them anymore.
I have SN, beta blockers and anti-emetics (zofran). I dont have any benzodiazpenes. I'd rather not ask a Dr to give them to me if I know I am going to use them to kill myself.
* I have gelatin capsules to place the SN in. Will this be a better method than trying to dissolve it in water?
* Is it going to work with benzos?
* Is Zofran strong enough and if not - will the capsules offset the body's instinct to vomit?
Appreciate any thoughts. All of you please take care of yourselves.
This site helped me obtain SN a couple years ago. It was comforting knowing that I had it as an option and in a odd way therapeutic to think I had a way out if things got bad. I have tried most of the major therapies and although I have improved somewhat - living with anxiety and depression is so hard for me.
I am in my 50s and live in the West. I have a career and savings. I had plenty of friends, a decent family and by any measure I have a comfortable life. But I have verbalized suicidal intent since I could talk. My family was very religious and I used to pray that God would let someone have my life who could enjoy it.
Paradoxically my getting treatment and the slight recovery I have had has made me think more about using my SN. I was paralyzed and housebound by depression. I am thinking much better and it is clear to me I am not going to get my life to a place that makes me want to live it. It's just hard to function in the way I want to. I wish I was able to live a fuller life and not hate myself but if it hasn't happened yet it isnt going to happen. I will miss my friends and family but dont want to burden them anymore.
I have SN, beta blockers and anti-emetics (zofran). I dont have any benzodiazpenes. I'd rather not ask a Dr to give them to me if I know I am going to use them to kill myself.
* I have gelatin capsules to place the SN in. Will this be a better method than trying to dissolve it in water?
* Is it going to work with benzos?
* Is Zofran strong enough and if not - will the capsules offset the body's instinct to vomit?
Appreciate any thoughts. All of you please take care of yourselves.
