SN help

[misfit toy]

Hi -

This site helped me obtain SN a couple years ago. It was comforting knowing that I had it as an option and in a odd way therapeutic to think I had a way out if things got bad. I have tried most of the major therapies and although I have improved somewhat - living with anxiety and depression is so hard for me.

I am in my 50s and live in the West. I have a career and savings. I had plenty of friends, a decent family and by any measure I have a comfortable life. But I have verbalized suicidal intent since I could talk. My family was very religious and I used to pray that God would let someone have my life who could enjoy it.

Paradoxically my getting treatment and the slight recovery I have had has made me think more about using my SN. I was paralyzed and housebound by depression. I am thinking much better and it is clear to me I am not going to get my life to a place that makes me want to live it. It's just hard to function in the way I want to. I wish I was able to live a fuller life and not hate myself but if it hasn't happened yet it isnt going to happen. I will miss my friends and family but dont want to burden them anymore.

I have SN, beta blockers and anti-emetics (zofran). I dont have any benzodiazpenes. I'd rather not ask a Dr to give them to me if I know I am going to use them to kill myself.


* I have gelatin capsules to place the SN in. Will this be a better method than trying to dissolve it in water?
* Is it going to work with benzos?
* Is Zofran strong enough and if not - will the capsules offset the body's instinct to vomit?


Appreciate any thoughts. All of you please take care of yourselves.

 

[geyienhk]

My understanding is that a large amount of SN has to be absorbed by your system quickly in order for the method to work. I think putting the SN in capsules makes the absorption process much longer and so time to loss of consciousness is longer too.

 

[misfit toy]

My understanding is that a large amount of SN has to be absorbed by your system quickly in order for the method to work. I think putting the SN in capsules makes the absorption process much longer and so time to loss of consciousness is longer too.

thanks. appreciate that

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yes, they're correct, dissolving it in water makes it more bioavailable so the SN will be as effective & efficient as possible. I'm not sure if Zofran is as good, maybe in terms of nausea, but meto also helps to move things through your stomach more quickly. I bought my meto from an online pharmacy (with no need for a prescription) several months ago. Benzos are not a necessity, many people have CTB'd via SN without them, they just make the process more comfortable & help with SI.

 

[Neyferuh]

Saludos my fellow 50-something peer. I just want to say I see you , I hear you and I get it. I too am in a similar situation and am peacefully planning to ctb with SN.
We are out there, and it is possible to take your last breath peacefully, knowing that you gave it your best shot and now it is time to exit.
I wish you peace with your decision. We have not failed, we did the best we could with the circumstance that we were given.
It took me a long time to get to this place in my head. But, for me, I feel that the greatest revenge on a painful, challenging life is to let go of it with peace in my heart.
The world will think whatever it wants to think of what we choose to do. But we are the only ones that live our lives.
So just sending you some solidarity. You have not failed, you just do not see the point of continuing like this, especially as illness makes things harder.
However you go, in whatever way you decide, may you have peace. I wish that for all of us, always

 

[misfit toy]

Saludos my fellow 50-something peer. I just want to say I see you , I hear you and I get it. I too am in a similar situation and am peacefully planning to ctb with SN.
We are out there, and it is possible to take your last breath peacefully, knowing that you gave it your best shot and now it is time to exit.
I wish you peace with your decision. We have not failed, we did the best we could with the circumstance that we were given.
It took me a long time to get to this place in my head. But, for me, I feel that the greatest revenge on a painful, challenging life is to let go of it with peace in my heart.
The world will think whatever it wants to think of what we choose to do. But we are the only ones that live our lives.
So just sending you some solidarity. You have not failed, you just do not see the point of continuing like this, especially as illness makes things harder.
However you go, in whatever way you decide, may you have peace. I wish that for all of us, always

Thank you for that. All the best to you also.