SN attempt under heightened surveillance

[onetapgandhi]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

 

[lionetta12]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

If you want to try SN while in a house with others, I'm not sure if that's the best idea. Some people say that you make a bit of noise when having consumed it and when passing out, and it might raise suspicion and interupt the attempt.

 

[suicidalpushpop]

i would not do it and wait until you can get into the woods tbh

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think it's so easy trying to arrive at a weight measurement (grams), utilizing a utensil that measures volume (Tablespoon). It's just too much variable. Like if you take a measuring cup and scoop out a cup of flour from a bag, then level it out. That amount of flour will weigh a certain amount. Then, if you take the same measuring cup, scoop into the same bag of flour, but this time pack the flour into the cup, it will, obviously, weigh more than the cup that wasn't packed. I think it's just too inaccurate doing it like you want to do it. I mean it's your life. If you want to take the chance, that's up to you.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

I'm utilizing a measuring tablespoon and using about 1.4 tablespoons.

 

[onetapgandhi]

I'm utilizing a measuring tablespoon and using about 1.4 tablespoons.

Yeah I am trying the same. SO what I did was I took a 10ml volumetric flask and measured that unheaped, my "tablespoon" was about 15 ml max. Considering the density of the Nitrite, I think 1 heaped tablespoon will be about 25 g. Maybe more maybe less but since the lethal dose is as low as 2.6g, it can't be that bad.

If you want to try SN while in a house with others, I'm not sure if that's the best idea. Some people say that you make a bit of noise when having consumed it and when passing out, and it might raise suspicion and interupt the attempt.

I had today planned out proper. Hadn't ate anything since yesterday night. skipped breakfast and found a window where house would be empty except me for 2 hrs but I am actually scared to pull the trigger in the house now. I might have to go into the woods. I am just concerned in the woods, if I mix SN before and take it in a bottle will that be better or just take the whole box there, mix there and then drink it. I am confused whether to pre-make it or make it at site.

i would not do it and wait until you can get into the woods tbh

Yep. thinking the same now. I will just drive my car by the side of the mountain switchback on the road, try there and hope no one notices me for long enough or just ignores me.

 

[Someone123]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

It may be worth it to consider sharing your reasons for ctb- if your family cares a lot maybe they can help you to feel better, maybe they could help you to find solutions short of ctb. Possibly people here could offer ideas that mya help.

 

[onetapgandhi]

It may be worth it to consider sharing your reasons for ctb- if your family cares a lot maybe they can help you to feel better, maybe they could help you to find solutions short of ctb. Possibly people here could offer ideas that mya help.

They don't care they just want me to suffer more. They are the reason I am about to CTB. All the infighting between my parents, them with uncle/aunt and then the estate disputes. Add to it many of the failed businesses and fact they all collectively manipulated me into leaving 3 good jobs only to now be working at a shitty job. I would poison them with SN but let be logical. Me kicking the bucket is the best for me. I have to rise above vengefulness

 

[Someone123]

They don't care they just want me to suffer more. They are the reason I am about to CTB. All the infighting between my parents, them with uncle/aunt and then the estate disputes. Add to it many of the failed businesses and fact they all collectively manipulated me into leaving 3 good jobs only to now be working at a shitty job. I would poison them with SN but let be logical. Me kicking the bucket is the best for me. I have to rise above vengefulness

Yes it's natural to consider vengefulness when people have been terrible to you, but it's best to leave it alone- what if you do something and try to ctb and it doesn't work? Then prison is likely, and that would be so much worse. I do support choice for ctb, so if that is your decision I do respect your choice- it's going to be my choice as well, most likely. But if you are young enough to have more time to turn things around I do wonder- you had good jobs, maybe you could get another- and move out. Of course I don't know your whole situation and I understand that sometimes you just need the pain to stop as soon as possible.

 

[onetapgandhi]

Yes it's natural to consider vengefulness when people have been terrible to you, but it's best to leave it alone- what if you do something and try to ctb and it doesn't work? Then prison is likely, and that would be so much worse. I do support choice for ctb, so if that is your decision I do respect your choice- it's going to be my choice as well, most likely. But if you are young enough to have more time to turn things around I do wonder- you had good jobs, maybe you could get another- and move out. Of course I don't know your whole situation and I understand that sometimes you just need the pain to stop as soon as possible.

I am young enough. 25. The world is my oyster. I have a job lined up kinda basic but in my knowledge area and good possibilities of growth in a big org. I have contacts in college and other areas who are willing to work with me for continuing my research work and new research areas.

Its just that I have been fighting all my life like this. I get in a good situation, my parents ruin it and I get worse and again and again and again. I am tired at losing all my fights. I am angry at them and myself. I am disappointed in the decisions I took it since they all proved to be wrong. I am just pissed off at myself, my life and my future and my new personality. I hate it and myself so much now, I just wanna be done with it

 

[👁️👃👁️]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

May I ask who your family is mother brother father?

 

[hopelessgirl]

Somewhere on this forum you can find how many tablespoons 25 of SN is. I'm sure

 

[onetapgandhi]

May I ask who your family is mother brother father?

Mother and Father. that's it. I have an uncle and an aunt and they got a boy and a girl and my grandpa. Granma passed away last year.

Somewhere on this forum you can find how many tablespoons 25 of SN is. I'm sure

1.4 US Tbsp according to them. But that tbsp is bit deeper in shape. My Tbsp is shallower and holds 15ml so I am taking a heaped single Tbsp.

 

[Hollowillow]

My family suspects me of attempting suicide so they are not leaving me alone for even a second now. Constantly on me 24 hours a day. I had a laboratory scale but they made an excuse and took it away. They all make sorry excuses about why they are staying with me or taking me somewhere and such. Such sorry excuses. I have seen that the volume of my Tablespoon is 15ml so will a heaped tablespoon be enough to make about 25g of SN? I think I'll have to take a little more than 50ml water just because I don't have a good enough measurement standard.
I even faked being bloated today just so I can continue my fast and they are all side eyeing me. Its so frustrating. If I can't do it in the house in this week, by the next week, I am finally going to try this in the woods fuck all of them

Sounds hitler-y instead of love. Did they ask you why? I'd like to know.

They sleep 8h. You can do it then or run away in rhe woods? Wear black?


Wtf was I giving to people, the guide said 25g minimum!? I just noticed I'm supposed to take 19!? Someone survived 20 twice... Wtf?
Wtf was I giving to people, the guide said 25g minimum!? I just noticed I'm supposed to take 19!? Someone survived 20 twice... Wtf?
44 pounds are why trying to kill kids? Oh... Anorexics? So sad ....