SN ARRIVING!

[Littlewittlelight]

Just ordered my SN it's arriving this 22nd and It's atleast 96% pure
(Purity>96%). What are your thoughts on this?
I feel relieved and a little hopeful. I will appreciate if rest of the things go smoothly. Fingers crossed in these times I will appreciate everything now I am going to prepare to counteract my SI so when I run away after months which is what I think should happen as I got college at the moment and there are more people. My family will be a problem and it's really ugly the whole process they would have to go through a lot if I did it near I don't know if I could put wishes but I will write just don't give me to my family if that point comes because I don't want them to perform all the 14 day long rituals which would also involve my brother and he is doing good at University I don't want to make him or anyone else hate me even more. I just want to be thrown or anything but also send my message to them and the only way I see is doing it live I don't know these are just on my mind. I am not sure what will happen but my concern is to make it as less bad as I can so they don't suffer but there is one girl I want to tell and I don't know how I would prove I am gone because I feel she would be looking for me and she is far we talked online so many things are making it hard but I am just relieved I got two of the things needed. I want to be hopeful in the mean time.

 

[Hollowillow]

Congrats, but don't celebrate until you can cling on it because some people had it seized at borders?

I hope you can lock your room with "sick do not disturb"... I think I read that you need 8h? Doing it lost in the woods & never being found might be worse for your family. I don't know what the rituals are. If they hate you then don't worry about those jerks. If they love you they'll figure something out. But they should have taken better care of youif you want to ctb. Why?

I hope you'll find peace as planned.

 

[jodes2]

Just ordered my SN it's arriving this 22nd and It's atleast 96% pure
(Purity>96%). What are your thoughts on this?
I feel relieved and a little hopeful. I will appreciate if rest of the things go smoothly. Fingers crossed in these times I will appreciate everything now I am going to prepare to counteract my SI so when I run away after months which is what I think should happen as I got college at the moment and there are more people. My family will be a problem and it's really ugly the whole process they would have to go through a lot if I did it near I don't know if I could put wishes but I will write just don't give me to my family if that point comes because I don't want them to perform all the 14 day long rituals which would also involve my brother and he is doing good at University I don't want to make him or anyone else hate me even more. I just want to be thrown or anything but also send my message to them and the only way I see is doing it live I don't know these are just on my mind. I am not sure what will happen but my concern is to make it as less bad as I can so they don't suffer but there is one girl I want to tell and I don't know how I would prove I am gone because I feel she would be looking for me and she is far we talked online so many things are making it hard but I am just relieved I got two of the things needed. I want to be hopeful in the mean time.

That purity is fine, they say it just needs to be 95%+. Well done for obtaining it!

 

[Littlewittlelight]

Congrats, but don't celebrate until you can cling on it because some people had it seized at borders?

I hope you can lock your room with "sick do not disturb"... I think I read that you need 8h? Doing it lost in the woods & never being found might be worse for your family. I don't know what the rituals are. If they hate you then don't worry about those jerks. If they love you they'll figure something out. But they should have taken better care of youif you want to ctb. Why?

I hope you'll find peace as planned.

They do care and have given me everything I have asked for but I won't be a burden anymore. By hating me I meant there have been times when they looked frustrated with me and there are no boarder issues I got it from Amazon that's the only thing I am liking about India at the moment and going to wood like so far away was on my mind when I just wanted to end it anyway by doing full suspension it was because I haven't traveled in a long time I could feel so alone because it would take two days and there could be anything inside the woods but I would try to choose a remote destination and use something to trace my way I don't want to be found because although my family understood me but there are ugly people around me and my relatives too who could do anything or burden them which would happen According to how I feel because that's the worse thing and the locality is so ugly there already have been hanging attempts 3 of them died and one who survived with blue Mark was looked down on and even insulted openly and no doubt there even are close relatives who made fun of that person infront of me forget the ones who are not blood related or not uncles. They could say anything or do anything but don't blame my mom because she still is ready to do anything but I am done too and I am going to hurt her if it happens I didn't want to talk about it now because I don't know if I will do it or gather the courage how I would be feeling after weeks or however amount of time but these things were on my mind for past month and they have done everything they could seeing how much I shared and they still will but whatever happens I just don't want this fake society to hurt them because of me and my brother is doing so well I hope he gets everything he wanted in life. He is smart I just admire him he helped me whenever I needed and even talked to me when I was out of control. I still am but there is no point in being dysfunctional and living off everything they can give me that's why.

Congrats, but don't celebrate until you can cling on it because some people had it seized at borders?

I hope you can lock your room with "sick do not disturb"... I think I read that you need 8h? Doing it lost in the woods & never being found might be worse for your family. I don't know what the rituals are. If they hate you then don't worry about those jerks. If they love you they'll figure something out. But they should have taken better care of youif you want to ctb. Why?

I hope you'll find peace as planned.

Thanks for the words I really am trying to ignore the neighbours I don't know what will happen after me going would they tell my family they could have saved me and before that when I run away from home without telling me would their be a police report as It would take few days this is also causing me anxiety I almost feel numb always but once I leave from here I would feel so bad maybe I wouldn't be able to take it and being alone in woods like 1000 kms from home or 200-300 kms atleast I was looking at places far from home for some reasons so they can't recover me I would be sending my location to someone but I also know they would try to recover it if I send it to them because they are very religious and death of a young adult. It would be the first in my whole family even my grandfather is alive this would be so hard if the day comes. I knok struggles I want to be cremated but by someone who is not my family member because there would be whole lot of drama it includes family gatherings after death where do many people are there I don't know what will happen if the day comes it will be affecting so much I just wish there is another way.

That purity is fine, they say it just needs to be 95%+. Well done for obtaining it!

Yeah I am also feeling less bound I have a back up now I have something to rely on incase I got that feeling again. I hope it doesn't come but one day I would have to end it. I have been a burden on everyone here and I just can't fight my disease or problems anymore if I lived I would have never enjoyed my life that's how I feel and is true. I wish I get that feeling and it goes smoothly and there are no problems after my demise that's all I want for the last time I am hoping of worsening my situation even further to give up all the hopes and let go of the feelings by December I am a coward already but I am not going to try to better my situation anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be relieved at having the option of SN. Nobody should ever have to feel trapped in this world with no way to escape. I wish you the best.