SN arrived. Should I ctb tonight?

[riellending]

It... arrived so much faster than I thought. I was expecting 2 more weeks of shipment but it's here after a day. I also have the means to test it tonight. I have my meds ready. I just have to fast for 8 hours and I can go.

Should I? I can't do it tomorrow because then the next day is a school day. My parents are fairky busy tomorrow so I can be unbothered 3:00am (where I plan to drink the SN) to 5:00am which is when I'm hopefully dead already (?).

I don't know. It feels so final but I just want to be gone.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Choice is yours, we can't stay what you should do.

 

[nessun_nome]

Think it through. Just because it's arrived early you don't have to go early. You expected to have that time before doing it so why not use it.

 

[Unknown21]

If u well- prepared and have the Time all alone then u can.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief having the option of SN, I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

It's against the rules to encourage anything. I agree with nessun; you got it earlier than expected, why not wait at least until the shipment was supposed to arrive? Suicide should always be a last resort. Only when you've exhausted every resource, including the ones you think "won't work", should suicide be on the table. Once it is on the table, you should hold on as long as possible, until it is entirely unbearable to live another day.

You say you have school on Monday; if you're still able to attend classes, you can keep going for a little longer. I believe in you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think 2h might not be enough in the worst case.

Y r u in a hurry? You have your way out now and you can plan everything when it is the best time for you. I wish you all the best and hope u find peace.

 

[EternalShore]

I'd probably wait a bit! You don't want to rush into a final decision quicker than you're ready! :) Plus, you can literally go whenever you want now! xD

 

[SmollMushroom]

It... arrived so much faster than I thought. I was expecting 2 more weeks of shipment but it's here after a day. I also have the means to test it tonight. I have my meds ready. I just have to fast for 8 hours and I can go.

Should I? I can't do it tomorrow because then the next day is a school day. My parents are fairky busy tomorrow so I can be unbothered 3:00am (where I plan to drink the SN) to 5:00am which is when I'm hopefully dead already (?).

I don't know. It feels so final but I just want to be gone.

Shouldn't you test it before taking it, just to be sure it's good?

 

[Visitor_]

If you decide to use the SN right now, make sure you have no regrets. I am not encouraging you in anyway but not am i telling you to not.

 

[riellending]

Shouldn't you test it before taking it, just to be sure it's good?

I will! I have a test kit ready :DD I've decided on doing it so I've started to prepare, hopefully all goes well.

If you decide to use the SN right now, make sure you have no regrets. I am not encouraging you in anyway but not am i telling you to not.

Thank you, I'm definitely making a decision I know I don't have any second thoughts on. Don't worry, no influence or encouragement is taken! I'm grateful for the reminder that something like this doesn't have room for regret since it's, you know. It made it sink it a bit more.

I think 2h might not be enough in the worst case.

Y r u in a hurry? You have your way out now and you can plan everything when it is the best time for you. I wish you all the best and hope u find peace.

Thank you, 2 hours is probably the minimum time I'll have alone which is kind of worrying, but my door does have a lock I can use. Thank you, peace is all I could ask for right now, I wish you the best too!

I think 2h might not be enough in the worst case.

Y r u in a hurry? You have your way out now and you can plan everything when it is the best time for you. I wish you all the best and hope u find peace.

Thank you, 2 hours is probably the minimum time I'll have alone which is kind of worrying, but my door does have a lock I can use. Thank you, peace is all I could ask for right now, I wish you the best too!

It's against the rules to encourage anything. I agree with nessun; you got it earlier than expected, why not wait at least until the shipment was supposed to arrive? Suicide should always be a last resort. Only when you've exhausted every resource, including the ones you think "won't work", should suicide be on the table. Once it is on the table, you should hold on as long as possible, until it is entirely unbearable to live another day.

You say you have school on Monday; if you're still able to attend classes, you can keep going for a little longer. I believe in you.

I know, I'm not looking for encouragement and I could never ask that from anyone on here. "Every resource" seems a bit fitting in a way, I guess I've always just known this was how I'm bound to go? Maybe not this early in life but its always just been the choice for me even if I've failed at other methods. Thank you for believing in me, you're one of very few :) <3

 

[Visitor_]

You seem like a really sweet person you know? Its truly unfortunate it had to come to this

 

[IWishToDie]

It... arrived so much faster than I thought. I was expecting 2 more weeks of shipment but it's here after a day. I also have the means to test it tonight. I have my meds ready. I just have to fast for 8 hours and I can go.

Should I? I can't do it tomorrow because then the next day is a school day. My parents are fairky busy tomorrow so I can be unbothered 3:00am (where I plan to drink the SN) to 5:00am which is when I'm hopefully dead already (?).

I don't know. It feels so final but I just want to be gone.

RIP.

 

[Unknown21]

RIP.

Did she die already?

 

[Dgafajwd]

It... arrived so much faster than I thought. I was expecting 2 more weeks of shipment but it's here after a day. I also have the means to test it tonight. I have my meds ready. I just have to fast for 8 hours and I can go.

Should I? I can't do it tomorrow because then the next day is a school day. My parents are fairky busy tomorrow so I can be unbothered 3:00am (where I plan to drink the SN) to 5:00am which is when I'm hopefully dead already (?).

I don't know. It feels so final but I just want to be gone.

Where have you managed to get the SN from? I cant get hold of it in the UK

 

[hopeless08]

I think 2h might not be enough in the worst case.

Y r u in a hurry? You have your way out now and you can plan everything when it is the best time for you. I wish you all the best and hope u find peace.

I am also sure that once I know I have my way out, I would feel such a sense of relief and then maybe take some time to finalize everything I need to get done.
But I hate when that impulsively creeps up on you and you feel you absolutely need to go now but have no way, it's awful