Venting Slowly giving up

[eatantz]

Finding out that SN is nearly impossible to get in the uk has ruined my school holiday and now I'm back in a depressive state [again]. Last month i was doing well, i was on top of all my alevel work and even going out with friends and family because i had hope that i would die by the end of the year.

I read many posts on SN and got excited to save up money and buy everything i need, i had read that SN was harder to get than other methods but i didn't realise most of the posts i read were from people outside of the uk. When i finally started to find a SN source all the hope fucking drained out of me, its like impossible to get SN without at least traveling which i cant do [anxiety]. So I'm back at square one: bed-rotting, sh and binging till I'm sick.

I started looking into hanging but fuck no, even the diagrams freak me out there is no way in hell i can do that. The only reason i wake up everyday and get out of bed is the hope that something might kill me. Maybe ill get hit by a car or stabbed by a road man idk....im getting so desperate I'm even thinking of just making a potion out of all the chemicals in my house even though ik its a painful and looooong way to go out.

 

[eaturdirt]

With SN you mean sodium nitrite right??? I'm sorry that you're feeling this way though, I relate to the way you feel. I hope you find some peace soon.

 

[LittleCupcake]

be patient Im sure you'll find one

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so trapped in this existence, it's so horrible and cruel to me how people cannot just have the option to die in peace, I really wish there's a straightforward way to just cease existing. But anyway best wishes

 

[LunarLight]

Polish SN

I know... but it depends on the vendors i suppose and you are not ordering "fruit of the moon" t-shirts, but something else... Also, it’s totally legal in PL. So honestly they won’t regulate it if it benefits the gov. glad to hear you got yours.

sanctioned-suicide.net

This user got SN from Poland to the UK without any custom/welfare checks. It's not impossible. Don't give up.

 

[Ironborn]

Don't be using random chemicals friend, that's a recipe for disaster.
Also no rush, you still sound young, some of us are a lot older and been dealing with this a long time.
Take it slowly, you have all the time in the world.