Venting My plans

[Pacosay]

So, I've taken the decision, I'm (hopefully) going to ctb next weekend.
I'm still deciding if I leave notes for my family or just do it and "pretend" it was accident or something, I'm going to use SN (I already got it and tested it)
I'm on my way back home and I just got a good soundbar for my grandpa, he was very happy listening to his old music, and I plan to take my mom to dinner in a fancy restaurant this week, I want to take a couple drinks with my friends and kinda say goodbye without actually saying jt.
I want to go to the movies and watch a couple in a day and eat a lot of pizza.
Then on saturday I start fasting and taking the medicine before the SN and hopefully by Sunday night I'm out.
I screwed everything up with my partner but I really want to find a way to take him out to talk and just clarify how much I love him and how sorry I'm for all the damage I caused him, but I'm pretty sure he wont let me even talk to me for 5 minutes, so probably a secret note to him it's going to be the way.

I'm just worried about my family, I know it's really going to hurt them but I know I'm hurting them much more by existing.

Any suggestions for a fun final week are welcome.

 

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

it is difficult for me to imagine that you might hurt your family more by existing than by ctb. I can understand that you feel like that though.

 

[bipbapbop]

So, I've taken the decision, I'm (hopefully) going to ctb next weekend.
I'm still deciding if I leave notes for my family or just do it and "pretend" it was accident or something, I'm going to use SN (I already got it and tested it)
I'm on my way back home and I just got a good soundbar for my grandpa, he was very happy listening to his old music, and I plan to take my mom to dinner in a fancy restaurant this week, I want to take a couple drinks with my friends and kinda say goodbye without actually saying jt.
I want to go to the movies and watch a couple in a day and eat a lot of pizza.
Then on saturday I start fasting and taking the medicine before the SN and hopefully by Sunday night I'm out.
I screwed everything up with my partner but I really want to find a way to take him out to talk and just clarify how much I love him and how sorry I'm for all the damage I caused him, but I'm pretty sure he wont let me even talk to me for 5 minutes, so probably a secret note to him it's going to be the way.

I'm just worried about my family, I know it's really going to hurt them but I know I'm hurting them much more by existing.

Any suggestions for a fun final week are welcome.

This sounds like a beautiful week. I hope it all goes well and you get to really enjoy it all. Maybe leave a voice note for your partner if he won't sit down and talk to you? I don't know if its possible where you live but I'm going to lay in the grass under a tree and listen to the wind and the leaves before I go.

 

[Pacosay]

it is difficult for me to imagine that you might hurt your family more by existing than by ctb. I can understand that you feel like that though.

It seems that I do everything in my power to dissapoint, betray and abandon everyone that I love in the worst times possible, even though I dont want to, I know that eventually I'm going to hurt everyone around me, in the long run it's better if I'm gone

I'm tired of fighting and I just don't want to keep repeating the cycles I always do
Sl

This sounds like a beautiful week. I hope it all goes well and you get to really enjoy it all. Maybe leave a voice note for your partner if he won't sit down and talk to you? I don't know if its possible where you live but I'm going to lay in the grass under a tree and listen to the wind and the leaves before I go.

Sound really nice, I might me able to do something like that
About the voice note, yeah that's probably going to be the case

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans, I hope you find freedom from the suffering.

 

[leyl]

Do you have a hobby (like painting)? You could do a final piece.
Or maybe dye your hair a color you really like

 

[AkaRed]

Wishing you the best, this week will be the best you've ever had.

<3

 

[everyone_adores_you]

Hi, I think that leaving a complete note and maybe with some reassuring/wholesome part for the ones you love could be better than leaving without explanation.
Your method will obviously not convince everyone that it's an accident and these doubters could suffer a lot from not knowing the truth.

Anyway, I hope you'll find the peace you're looking for. And if you can't do it we'll be happy to talk with you again !

 

[Ash]

Check the legislation where you live but AFAIK, unexplained deaths are subject to investigation. If so, they will find and report the SN in your system.