Venting situation in my home country (asia)

[melonrazor]

my home country is shit. it's in Asia and for the past 4 years it's been a war zone. you may or may not guess where I'm from but I absolutely hate it. my country is corrupted by the military and there's no way out especially for young adults like myself. I'm currently migrating in another country to study and my student pass is expiring soon (in 2 weeks). My next degree intake is in July and right now it's March so for the duration I have no where to go. I'm not even sure if the uni will accept me. I can't go back to my country because I will be forced to enlist in the corrupted military otherwise it's torture in prison (even for women). I feel like I have enough reason to end myself because all these years I've been trying my hardest to stay alive, at least for my dad who is paying my school fees… Visa is extremely difficult to get and staying in another country alone is expensive. If there's really no way out, I think I might just end it all. I'm tired of being a burden to my family. My family is in debt because of my medical fees and my school fees. It's expensive for foreign students to study abroad but I know they care. They care about me but I keep fking up. I messed up my exams, my attendance is poor because of my ptsd, i tried over dosing on my stilnox. i really wish to disappear so my parents don't have to worry about me anymore, this guilt is driving me insane. The media don't talk much about my home country, everything is awful