No, I wasn't severely depressed when I had my first child but I'd had a lifelong tendency to depression and I naively didn't realise it would persist
12 years later and I've poured myself heart and soul into my children, trying to do the best for them, they're well cared for and have lots of opportunities but when I have periods of severe depression, I hate myself even more for it because my behaviour hurts and confuses the people I love most in the world
I shouldn't have subjected them to this.
Also, I want to be fully committed to CTB but there's nobody else to care for them, so i'm stuck