Help Should I text her before I CTB?

[goodbad&ugly777]

Basically me and my ex had like a crazy situationship and she is really messed up like me which is why we probably get along so well. She is better now and we don't talk as much as we used to but I'm planning on trying to attempt soon and I don't think this time I'm gonna fail so I was thinking should I write something to her before I go? She is the only person who has ever made me feel loved/cared for and I don't wanna die without saying at least something. I don't wanna write something to her and have her feeling guilty. She's always been a little pro-suicide and said she wouldn't mind if I was dead but idk if she was serious or not I really don't wanna traumatize her or make her feel super guilty because this is totally not her fault at all. Idk I can probably figure this out myself and I doubt anyone is gonna see this. Anyways if anyone has advice that would be awesome I'll answer any questions anyone has. Thanks.

 

[ToothFairy]

Do you two still have bounds? I would like to know if the reasson you two stopped talking as often is something heavy and serious or it's just something that happened over time

 

[tonicer]

Did you guys separate in friendly terms or was there a fight? If it was in friendly terms i think writing her something would be good.

 

[jilet]

in my very humble opinion if ctb is very likely dont text her in order to not to feel her guilty

 

[delinquentsandwich]

maybe it depends if she would want some form of closure from you

maybe spend a little time with each other before going, might work too
(this is what I plan on doing, personally)

 

[goodbad&ugly777]

maybe spend a little time with each other before going, might work too
(this is what I plan on doing, personally)

I get the feeling sometimes she doesn't really wanna hangout with me though and I don't think she realizes how much she means to me so idk I don't want to be a burden

Do you two still have bounds? I would like to know if the reasson you two stopped talking as often is something heavy and serious or it's just something that happened over time

It kinda just happened over time, we really liked each other but she had a big drug abuse problem and I wanted her to get help or something but she never did so we never got back together like officially. We still talk and we're still on hold terms I think but honestly I don't know what you mean by bounds.

Did you guys separate in friendly terms or was there a fight? If it was in friendly terms i think writing her something would be good.

It was a little bit of fighting but we always came back to eachother. She wasn't doing good at the time so she would start cutting and shit and it always got me panicking that she would hurt herself. I would say thought that we ended our situationship on friendly terms even though she didn't want it to end.

 

[android]

If you want her to intervene or talk through it, then text before.

There is a way to set scheduled emails and text messages. It will be mentioned in ppeh or somewhere on this forum.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

Basically me and my ex had like a crazy situationship and she is really messed up like me which is why we probably get along so well. She is better now and we don't talk as much as we used to but I'm planning on trying to attempt soon and I don't think this time I'm gonna fail so I was thinking should I write something to her before I go? She is the only person who has ever made me feel loved/cared for and I don't wanna die without saying at least something. I don't wanna write something to her and have her feeling guilty. She's always been a little pro-suicide and said she wouldn't mind if I was dead but idk if she was serious or not I really don't wanna traumatize her or make her feel super guilty because this is totally not her fault at all. Idk I can probably figure this out myself and I doubt anyone is gonna see this. Anyways if anyone has advice that would be awesome I'll answer any questions anyone has. Thanks. It's your choice but based on your post it seems she's not gonna handle this super well.

It's your choice but from your post it seems she's not gonna take it super well. But a letter for her after your ctb sounds neat.

 

[booplesnoot34]

No, that sounds like either a ticket to the psych ward or filling someone with guilt.

 

[goodbad&ugly777]

You are probably right. Thanks :)

 

[Alice.]

maybe it depends if she would want some form of closure from you

maybe spend a little time with each other before going, might work too
(this is what I plan on doing, personally)

i agree with this closure part. my current partner once a couple months ago seriously considered suicide but didn't go through it only because they didn't want to leave me lost and confused. if your ex deserves closure, then i think writing a message that wraps up any loose ends and everything like that could be a good thing, but overall i think it would hurt less without leaving a message.

 

[webb&flow]

I get the feeling sometimes she doesn't really wanna hangout with me though and I don't think she realizes how much she means to me so idk I don't want to be a burden

she is really messed up like me which is why we probably get along so well.

what do you feel makes you get the feeling she doesn't want to hang out with you though <3? if I may ask

it's worth trying to see if she'd like to connect again ♥. perhaps she may very well still have care for you left within her heart, and remembers you fondly; even with paths having slightly diverged as well. who knows, maybe she'll even privately appreciate hearing from you, too~

Idk I can probably figure this out myself and I doubt anyone is gonna see this.

it's ok to want aid from others in trying to figure out our problems <3<3 and perhaps more than you may have first anticipated have seen and replied to your post too~ we are here for you and we want to hear you out :)

It kinda just happened over time, we really liked each other but she had a big drug abuse problem and I wanted her to get help or something but she never did so we never got back together like officially. We still talk and we're still on hold terms I think but honestly I don't know what you mean by bounds.

<3<3 i hope she's feeling a bit better now, even slightly ♥

It was a little bit of fighting but we always came back to eachother. She wasn't doing good at the time so she would start cutting and shit and it always got me panicking that she would hurt herself. I would say thought that we ended our situationship on friendly terms even though she didn't want it to end.

I think the detail that she didn't want it to end really does mean something.

we're still on hold terms

I think this is a pressing matter, goodbad&ugly.

You care about this person and there is a very real chance she cares for you, too; even if you two don't talk as much as you used to <3. Memory is a powerful thing. Emotion is a powerful thing. And love is a powerful thing too.

I think it's absolutely worth trying to contact her. Let us know how it goes goodbad&ugly .

You don't have to mention anything about suicide for now; you can just let her know how much you genuinely appreciate her, in a little "drop her a kind note" kind of way ^^. That could very easily reach her and tenderly touch her soul as well.

May there be relaxation, ease, and feelings of being embraced within your day today, and your day tomorrow, @goodbad&ugly777