Help Should I tell mom I will ctb?

[hihi2027]

My decision is based on the fact that I see little value in the things that most people live for. I am not interested in love. A certain kind of love, one which starts a family, relationships, kids, pets, etc. Those things I have absolutely no interest in. I don't even feel much about having a successful career. The idea of working a job that I hate is very numbing and tiring. I don't want to grow old and die of a cancer or a heart attack. I just want to end it while I'm ahead.

Suicidal thoughts never go away. Once it gets inside your head, it changes you forever. You can't go a day without thinking of ending your life. Every decision you make is signed by suicide, cause you're going to end it all anyway. Giving the day your all feels so tiring. I break down every night a cry realizing that I won't have the happy life like these other people have. They don't have thoughts like mine and live unbothered. They've never attempted to end their own life. They've never had to visit sites like this one. They have options that I don't have which is why I'm here.

So far, mom has been kind and gentle to me. Her hugs are warm. But it's not enough. I still want to kill myself. I don't know if I should tell her about my plan. She will be devastated and so will the rest of the family no doubt.

I have one big project that I want to complete before the end. It will take a long time to finish but when I do, that is when I will finally leave this world. She will not have to worry about me killing myself before then. I want to be know for more than just a suicide, I at least want to be known for my art.

How do I explain my plan to her? If I can convince her somehow, I'd ideally get to finish this, then leave. Not realistic, I'm aware. She will most likely panic and constantly supervise me. Or lock me up in a psyche ward at worst which I really want to avoid. The best case scenario (that is actually realistic) is that I get forced into therapy which I guess wouldn't be too bad...

The thing is that, I've made up my mind at this point and know what I want to do before ctb'ing. I have no idea how to tell her about all this.

 

[SASU-KE]

No.Nothing good will come out of telling a family member about this.


Perhaps tell her everything about yourself. Tell her how much you hate life and how things are difficult for you but leave out the bus part. It's good to discuss this kind of thing with a good parent that can be trusted.Maybe it helps give you some relief.

 

[rainhappy]

I think there are two options, and once you've finished your project, you'll be in the best position to decide whether to seek treatment or to end it all.
If you want to leave, write her a letter so she understands why you're leaving . Otherwise, talk to her about it so she can support you as best as possible .
If you want to leave, write her a letter so she understands why you're leaving . Otherwise, talk to her about it so she can support you as best as possible .

 

[Le temps perdu]

I think this decision depends on how open your mom is to talking about this kind of topic. personally, I think you could try asking some other related questions first, such as, "Would you respect the decision of people who choose ctb/assisted dying because they're in extreme pain? What do you think about that choice?" Or you could ask about autonomy, for example, "Do you think people have the right to choose whether to continue living or end their lives?"etc.

I've talked to my mom about my plan before, but things didn't go very well at first. So I think this is something that's worth approaching carefully

 

[Playingwiththedead]

Absolutely not

 

[TheWindow047]

My decision is based on the fact that I see little value in the things that most people live for. I am not interested in love. A certain kind of love, one which starts a family, relationships, kids, pets, etc. Those things I have absolutely no interest in. I don't even feel much about having a successful career. The idea of working a job that I hate is very numbing and tiring. I don't want to grow old and die of a cancer or a heart attack. I just want to end it while I'm ahead.

Suicidal thoughts never go away. Once it gets inside your head, it changes you forever. You can't go a day without thinking of ending your life. Every decision you make is signed by suicide, cause you're going to end it all anyway. Giving the day your all feels so tiring. I break down every night a cry realizing that I won't have the happy life like these other people have. They don't have thoughts like mine and live unbothered. They've never attempted to end their own life. They've never had to visit sites like this one. They have options that I don't have which is why I'm here.

So far, mom has been kind and gentle to me. Her hugs are warm. But it's not enough. I still want to kill myself. I don't know if I should tell her about my plan. She will be devastated and so will the rest of the family no doubt.

I have one big project that I want to complete before the end. It will take a long time to finish but when I do, that is when I will finally leave this world. She will not have to worry about me killing myself before then. I want to be know for more than just a suicide, I at least want to be known for my art.

How do I explain my plan to her? If I can convince her somehow, I'd ideally get to finish this, then leave. Not realistic, I'm aware. She will most likely panic and constantly supervise me. Or lock me up in a psyche ward at worst which I really want to avoid. The best case scenario (that is actually realistic) is that I get forced into therapy which I guess wouldn't be too bad...

The thing is that, I've made up my mind at this point and know what I want to do before ctb'ing. I have no idea how to tell her about all this.

If you said that realistically she wouldn't lock you up in a mental hospital and you even think that therapy might not be too bad I say you could give it a shot if you are not sure about ctb'ing. You should think about if you actually want to "recover" or if you want to go ahead with this, in case you don't really want a recovery I think it would be detrimental to tell your mother because of the emotional pain you're going to be causing her and yourself too I suppose, I mean what is your intention with telling her? Approval of your choice, or you just want to be honest about it before you do it?

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

It increases the chances of being forcibly institutionalized (though some people to benefit from that). Could also make her feel more guilty when you're gone if she feels like she knew and didn't prevent your death. It would weigh on her forever.