Venting Should i leave my boyfriend?

[Lavínia]

Recently i admitted to my bf that I don't intend to live long, letting suicide implied. For context, our relationship is not very serious. After some years being friends, we started an open relation 2 months ago where what matters most is quality time (lately he has been making an effort to try physical contact, like holding hands, but he has difficulty with that). He is my safe haven, I am much less afraid when I am with him. Bc I was very intimate with him, I kept asking myself whether to tell him or not, just thinking, but when we were in a really good moment I ended up talking at once, and he was cool with it.
We talked about how it's better for me to stay away from some of my more sensitive friends bc it might affect them, and he questioned things I wanted to do sooner with the time I have. He was visibly worried, but wanted to see what he could do to make me more comfortable. I don't deserve him. Bc of who I am, I don't deserve it. I said I wanted to marry him next year, just exchange rings or other jewelry and have a picnic while wearing a wedding dress. A very silly thing more for the symbolism. And he accepted. Also to deliver chocolates to him on Valentine's day (in Brazil would be on June 12).

Sorry, I only write when I'm emotional and I end up talking a lot.

I would like some advice on this, because even though I'm happy with him being calm about it, I believe it's better to move away after a while (I plan ctb in 3 years). I saw that in my country, "suicide assistance by omission" is too complicated to understand as a crime, only morally it would be a problem, but I don't want him to suffer any type of consequence from this. I love him so much. I already want to move away from my social circle, but as for him I just freeze.

What is the best thing to do?

 

[Final_Choice]

I don't know enough about the dynamic between you two, but now that he knows he might want to be by your side until then, if I read everything correctly at least. If you decide to cut off from him he'll probably expect you to do it but that you did it alone, which might hurt him more. So staying with him might hurt him less. Take this with a grain of salt as I don't know enough to truly say, but this is just what I think from what I know.

 

[Lavínia]

I don't know enough about the dynamic between you two, but now that he knows he might want to be by your side until then, if I read everything correctly at least. If you decide to cut off from him he'll probably expect you to do it but that you did it alone, which might hurt him more. So staying with him might hurt him less. Take this with a grain of salt as I don't know enough to truly say, but this is just what I think from what I know.

Can be a grain, but it's helping to think, thank you. I feel like he wants to enjoy our time too, in the middle of the conversation he ended up asking if I wanted to go to the beach or make a trip like that. Trying to make plans. We can stay until some days of the date too... I just don't want be too much selfish.

 

[Final_Choice]

Can be a grain, but it's helping to think, thank you. I feel like he wants to enjoy our time too, in the middle of the conversation he ended up asking if I wanted to go to the beach or make a trip like that. Trying to make plans. We can stay until some days of the date too... I just don't want be too much selfish.

I like to think that just as you are making your own conscious decision about CTBing he is also making a conscious and serious decision to spend time with you until you go, if that's the case then I don't think it's selfish.

 

[Sleeper System]

I give advice based on reality and truth so here goes...

You should make every attempt to break up with him.
Make your intentions and future plans clear.
Absolve him of any attachement or responsibility to you.
Explain in great detail your feelings about everything. Might even want to write it in a letter.

Then, after you've exausted all attempts to spare him from your choice, you must let him make a decision.
You must respect his decision no matter what it is and not press the issue further.
If he decides he wants to be by your side, then you a are a lucky person.
If he decides its best for you and him that he distance himself, then you have done the right thing by him.

The most important thing is to communicate absolutely everything so that he can make and informed choice and then you have to respect that he has the ability to discern for himself what he wants to do.

Letting the situation be left up in the air is both inconsiderate and cruel. Talk it out. Whatever happens happens.

 

[Final_Choice]

I give advice based on reality and truth so here goes...

You should make every attempt to break up with him.
Make your intentions and future plans clear.
Absolve him of any attachement or responsibility to you.
Explain in great detail your feelings about everything. Might even want to write it in a letter.

Then, after you've exausted all attempts to spare him from your choice, you must let him make a decision.
You must respect his decision no matter what it is and not press the issue further.
If he decides he wants to be by your side, then you a are a lucky person.
If he decides its best for you and him that he distance himself, then you have done the right thing by him.

The most important thing is to communicate absolutely everything so that he can make and informed choice and then you have to respect that he has the ability to discern for himself what he wants to do.

Letting the situation be left up in the air is both inconsiderate and cruel. Talk it out. Whatever happens happens.

I do agree that the best thing to do is to sit down and communicate everything so that it's perfectly clear, as miscommunication and differences on what you two think will happen will only cause problems.

 

[Lavínia]

I give advice based on reality and truth so here goes...

You should make every attempt to break up with him.
Make your intentions and future plans clear.
Absolve him of any attachement or responsibility to you.
Explain in great detail your feelings about everything. Might even want to write it in a letter.

Then, after you've exausted all attempts to spare him from your choice, you must let him make a decision.
You must respect his decision no matter what it is and not press the issue further.
If he decides he wants to be by your side, then you a are a lucky person.
If he decides its best for you and him that he distance himself, then you have done the right thing by him.

The most important thing is to communicate absolutely everything so that he can make and informed choice and then you have to respect that he has the ability to discern for himself what he wants to do.

Letting the situation be left up in the air is both inconsiderate and cruel. Talk it out. Whatever happens happens.

I've been imagining several ways this conversation could happen, and I really want it to happen. He's the type of person who can talk about anything, and even though he's worried, like the last time we spoke, he can be rational about it.
It's been a week since I told him about it, and after that we interacted normally, without bringing up the subject again. That's why I just let it internalize, without wanting to get up so as not to put pressure on him. I didn't want to hurt him, but it really might be crueler to just leave it be. I want to talk to him face to face, but a letter would be a good idea, so I don't forget anything.
Of course i will be sad a lot if he don't want and we break up, but i wouldn't have any regrets, and he can keep living without all this.