Should I give it more time? 19M

[[HNO]]

What's your main reason for suicide?

mainly due to state of constant mental turmoil so i seek for some sort of peace, a state before i was ever existed. and lately i think that it's never really began for me because put simply i'm genetical thrash and my life had determined to end up like this.an absence of father figure, early access to the internet and totally incompetent mother was just catalysts. after that comes dissapointment in life and in society in general. rat race with reproduction and struggling for status via accumulation of money, degrees, etc just makes no sense to me. though it seems that stratum of people that can be considered happy and satisfied is either in extremely poor or in extremely rich category and i may fell in middle class sickness or something, so besides these causes very moderate and monotonous life is factor too. basically nothing ever happens in my life since i cut off to generate problems with my retarded behaviour like cutting myself or sniffing refrigerants

 

[wasteofspace22]

mainly due to state of constant mental turmoil so i seek for some sort of peace, a state before i was ever existed. and lately i think that it's never really began for me because put simply i'm genetical thrash and my life had determined to end up like this.an absence of father figure, early access to the internet and totally incompetent mother was just catalysts. after that comes dissapointment in life and in society in general. rat race with reproduction and struggling for status via accumulation of money, degrees, etc just makes no sense to me. though it seems that stratum of people that can be considered happy and satisfied is either in extremely poor or in extremely rich category and i may fell in middle class sickness or something, so besides these causes very moderate and monotonous life is factor too. basically nothing ever happens in my life since i cut off to generate problems with my retarded behaviour like cutting myself or sniffing refrigerants

I'm autistic, bipolar,ocd, drug addict loser

 

[ShatteredQueen]

Firstly, you are only able to ctb once, so I recommend being very certain first and doing it correctly. Perhaps consider fixing parts of your existence first. I fully support every person's right to choose to die, but I also believe that it should be the final solution, not the first one. Doubtlessly most of us will someday get there--I know I feel it's inevitable that I will--but we should not shut that final door too early and we should strive to first leave something beautiful or unique in the world to touch future generations of outsiders. When the time comes, we must plan things out responsibly. (For example, think about who the financial burden of burying you will land on, who is most likely to find your corpse, and what will become of any pets or children. These are important things to have arranged beforehand.) Only then, after you have tried to fix yourself, left something positive in the world, and thoroughly planned every aspect of your suicide should you finally catch the bus. That is my feeling on the subject, anyway.

 

[Quite Dying]

I wish I knew the right things to say that would help you.

 

[wasteofspace22]

I wish I knew the right things to say that would help you.

I think it is too late for me man

 

[JayLa16]

This may be an unpopular opinion on this site but IMO--and experience--yes, you should absolutely give it more time. I went to rehab at 22 and have been clean for 20 years...other issues brought me to this site. You are very young and have a lot of time to make your life into whatever you want it to be. You might benefit from inpatient treatment followed by an intensive outpatient program...are you in the U.S.? Do you have health insurance? If not, you may qualify for public health insurance. Why not take suicide off the table for, say, a year, actively pursue treatment for substance abuse and mental health and see how you feel at that time?

 

[Quite Dying]

Some others said some things better than I. Hell, we are all on this thread for some reason.

 

[wasteofspace22]

This may be an unpopular opinion on this site but IMO--and experience--yes, you should absolutely give it more time. I went to rehab at 22 and have been clean for 20 years...other issues brought me to this site. You are very young and have a lot of time to make your life into whatever you want it to be. You might benefit from inpatient treatment followed by an intensive outpatient program...are you in the U.S.? Do you have health insurance? If not, you may qualify for public health insurance. Why not take suicide off the table for, say, a year, actively pursue treatment for substance abuse and mental health and see how you feel at that time?

I feel too socially anxious to go out In public sometimes even man

 

[Euthanza]

Many young people on this thread, I can only say I wish all the best for whatever you choose, but I won't be hurry. Every generation is built on different path, I think your generation is the most aware of mental health and probably the first to witness right to die awakening among every other generations, I can't be sure but there's potential.

 

[DemonicAngel]

It's hard to say. I think only you can answer that.I felt like I wanted to die at 19 (actually I've felt like since I was about 13.) My first attempt was when I was 22. I just turned 34 on Friday and I still feel that way. In fact things have gotten worse. But I do know more now. I was first put on psychotropics at 9 and I have been forced into the psych ward 6 times. So I guess I'm smarter and more prepared for when I go. Which I hope is soon. I just need to fight that damn survival instinct.

 

[Astral Storm]

It depends on your situation but only you can decide it. Think it over, write down your reasons and feelings about it. If you decide to do it then you should be really certain about it. If you are not truly ready then give it more time.

 

[Euthanza]

To give a suicidal person direction in life, be a pro by learning chemistry

https://www.medpagetoday.com/publichealthpolicy/generalprofessionalissues/98707

 

[Jrmull1993]

To give a suicidal person direction in life, be a pro by learning chemistry

https://www.medpagetoday.com/publichealthpolicy/generalprofessionalissues/98707

Thanks for sharing that. I was surprised that suicide via. Rx overdose was not a more common method amongst pharmacists.

I wonder if pharmacists who work in a hospital setting vs a retail setting tend to use different methods, as a hospital would have access to many drugs not found in a retail setting.

Either way, goes to show the unreliability of CTBing via overdose.

 

[Euthanza]

Thanks for sharing that. I was surprised that suicide via. Rx overdose was not a more common method amongst pharmacists.

Overdise is more common in pharmacists compared to general population (29% : 16%), but firearm use is about the same rate and more preferred. This is US statistic though, where firearms are legal and easily can be obtained.

I wonder if pharmacists who work in a hospital setting vs a retail setting tend to use different methods, as a hospital would have access to many drugs not found in a retail setting.

Either way, goes to show the unreliability of CTBing via overdose.

Yeah probably, those drugs we need are patented (government-granted temporary monopoly). Except in a country where firearm possession is illegal too.

 

[jitendrabagaria786@]

mainly due to state of constant mental turmoil so i seek for some sort of peace, a state before i was ever existed. and lately i think that it's never really began for me because put simply i'm genetical thrash and my life had determined to end up like this.an absence of father figure, early access to the internet and totally incompetent mother was just catalysts. after that comes dissapointment in life and in society in general. rat race with reproduction and struggling for status via accumulation of money, degrees, etc just makes no sense to me. though it seems that stratum of people that can be considered happy and satisfied is either in extremely poor or in extremely rich category and i may fell in middle class sickness or something, so besides these causes very moderate and monotonous life is factor too. basically nothing ever happens in my life since i cut off to generate problems with my retarded behaviour like cutting myself or sniffing refrigerants

You realized it early and I realized it @27 father died before birth mother is schizophrenic early access to internet ruined me, rat race, shitty job, lower middle class life and now I realized I'm completely stuck here

 

[[HNO]]

You realized it early and I realized it @27 father died before birth mother is schizophrenic early access to internet ruined me, rat race, shitty job, lower middle class life and now I realized I'm completely stuck here

i can't see myself in 27 or in more older age as functional, happily live my days with family i established or something, in the first place it's really seem alien and distant to me like this thing is capable to being happen in some of multiverse where i didnt spent most of my life in the limbo with certain consequences to mental health nor that i see myself suddenly found new meaning in life just after getting one shitty and useless degree after another and then work in a specialized area for humanity futture(tm) but ofc this future is based on more sophisticated means of population control so you work for prosperity of the current tyranny .only visions are is still unemployed who leech his parents and rotting in the room all day or engaged in some dead end job in case when mother put ultimatum: find a job or get kicked out, but both options are similar in essence as it's routine and draining and anyway being neet sucks in that eventually you'll be oversatiated with pleasures like videogames and porn so at one point it'll be disgusting to do and you will do it not for pleasure but to cope with boredom and to shut up conscience. and all wagies whom i see are sticked to smartphones and browsing tiktok and instagramm whenever it's possible at their work so i think no matter work you or not only escapism gives a pleasure and some tastes in life

 

[İnilerim]

Things can always get a lot better, especially if you're still under 30. They can also get a lot worse. I personally wish I'd died at 20 (I'm 30 now), and the regret keeps growing every year.

It's pretty much a gamble, some people enjoy that kinda thing apparently.

 

[wasteofspace22]

Fuck my life

 

[Quite Dying]

I feel too socially anxious to go out In public sometimes even man

Hope you have been doing better lately. Let me know.

 

[wasteofspace22]

Hope you have been doing better lately. Let me know.

I'm fighting, gonna trust psychiatry and give it some time, I do t have the courage and guts to commit suicide. I wish I never did these drugs so young it tortures me

 

[Darkover]

i'd of left at 18 years old if i'd of had access to easy method to suicide now 36 years old i can honestly say life just got worse for me the longer i lived my advice would be to leave as soon as possible

 

[Jrmull1993]

I'm fighting, gonna trust psychiatry and give it some time, I do t have the courage and guts to commit suicide. I wish I never did these drugs so young it tortures me

I'm glad to hear your going to try and "push through".

A line from one of my favorite songs isn "The hard roads are the ones worth choosing, someday you'll look back and smile, and know it was worth every mile."

Wishing you the best!

 

[wasteofspace22]

i'd of left at 18 years old if i'd of had access to easy method to suicide now 36 years old i can honestly say life just got worse for me the longer i lived my advice would be to leave as soon as possible

What makes you suicidal? Like what are you primary motivating factors and reasons

 

[Quite Dying]

i'd of left at 18 years old if i'd of had access to easy method to suicide now 36 years old i can honestly say life just got worse for me the longer i lived my advice would be to leave as soon as possible

What happened?

 

[wasteofspace22]

What happened?

Reading his paragraph makes me depressed and hopeless tbh

 

[Quite Dying]

What makes you suicidal? Like what are you primary motivating factors and reasons

Trying to better understand where you are coming from.

 

[wasteofspace22]

Trying to better understand where you are coming from.

Do you think I should CTB or give it more time

 

[Darkover]

What makes you suicidal? Like what are you primary motivating factors and reasons

a 2 half year relationship breakup that never recovered from age 16 to 18 i was in mental anguish for years afterwards the realization i'd never have sex again, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at 18, went to jail at 18 for a crime i did not commit, dislocated left shoulder 10 times from the age of 18 that goes weak and limp, and at age 30 i got a brain injury and tinnitus in both my ears, all my teeth have decayed because my parents never took me to the dentis

 

[wasteofspace22]

a 2 half year relationship breakup that never recovered from age 16 to 18 i was in mental anguish for years afterwards the realization i'd never have sex again, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at 18, went to jail at 18 for a crime i did not commit, dislocated left shoulder 10 times from the age of 18 that goes weak and limp, and at age 30 i got a brain injury and tinnitus in both my ears, all my teeth have decayed because my parents never took me to the dentis

Schizophrenia is brutal man, I understand. I have bipolar and suspected autism, as well as ocd, depression and adhd, with hardcore drug addiction in past. Do you take medication for your schizophrenia?

 

[Darkover]

Schizophrenia is brutal man, I understand. I have bipolar and suspected autism, as well as ocd, depression and adhd, with hardcore drug addiction in past. Do you take medication for your schizophrenia?

i also have a history of drug abuse went through drug induced psychosis at 18 i mainly just take weed and coke now adays, no i am not on any medication for schizophrenia it doesn't work at all