Should I do it?

[subhuman metalhead]

I've thought about it for a long time now but never truly had the balls to do so. I'm not worth anything–at least not sentimentality–so what's the point of living on this horrible, disgusting planet? The people suck because all they do is hurt and kill each other along with destroying the only home they have and all of the creatures that inhabit it. All I have deterring me from actually offing myself is my best friend who constantly tries to tell me that the world is beautiful, that life is worth living, and all this naïve and toxically positive garbage. I wish he would at least take off those rose-tinted glasses and see the world, and life, for what it really is—a waste of space.

As for methods, I don't want this to be painful, last long, or for me to have time to make last-minute decisions; I want something quick, easy, and painless. I also want to be as far away from humanity as possible so that no one finds my body. I'll be reported missing (again) but that gives my best friend some hope that I'm still out there despite the obvious being true. I've attempted many times but never in a serious manner. They've all essentially been cries for help as pathetic as that sounds. Most of the attempts were overdoses, exsanguination, and jumping; but none of them actually did anything.

Any suggestions?

Note: It's really difficult to obtain methods considering I'm an incompetent freak and as a result, still live with my parents at the age of 20.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's inappropriate to tell you whether you should or shouldn't do anything, let alone something as personal as CTB. I guess you just need to weigh everything going on in your life, your prospects for things getting better, your desire to make things better, how much of yourself you still have available to make anything better happen. Only you know your circumstances. I agree that this world sucks and I doubt it will ever get better. I say that based on history - what has ever gotten better? It would be naive to think that miraculously things would simply change, when through history we all know the real story. I say if you can carve out a small amount of happiness for yourself in all the BS this world is, go for it and make the most of it. If you can't, well, you're not alone. It's a hard decision and requires some deep inner soul-searching regarding what one really wants and needs. I don't think there is a wrong decision. Whatever decision you make has to be the one that's best for you, after all you're the one who has to live if you choose to. I hope you find your peace now matter how you have to get to it. Everyone deserves that.

 

[jazzcat]

only you know if you should do it or not, and I don't think it's a matter of 'having the balls to do it' nor do I think cries for help are 'pathetic'

it really does get better for some people, and for them I imagine it starts with reaching out for help, but I also think the world is cruel by nature, I personally doubt that things will get better for me but I'll stick around until I'm 100% sure I want to die, it's a drastic decision and it's bound to hurt the people that care about me, no one else could tell me whether or not I should do it

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's always a personal decision deciding what to do, but I also view existence as being something so replusive and cruel, I think it's such a horrible punishment having the ability to exist here in this hellish reality, existence is just an unnecessary harm so to me it's always really understandable wishing to be free from everything.

 

[wristcutangel]

if there's a reason you still want to hold on, then think about it carefully because you won't be able to take it back once you're dead. it's not a matter of bravery or patheticness, neither choosing to die nor choosing to live. whatever you decide, it'll be your choice, so be sure to be a 100% certain.