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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
I like expressing myself through writing and drawing at times, unfortunately I can't share this type without attracting too much attention.
I'm not the best writer, but it helps me unwind, I figured I'd share :)



I decided for peace and took my own life
Just for a fool that decided to revive
Now I'm wandering hallways by relentless force
Expected to utter meaningless words of remorse
The halls are empty and quiet like the dead
Locked doors and windows that never seem to end
This is not quite the limbo that I expected
Where getting help is not an option and more of a prison sentence
Here I am, still broken, careless and torn
All your meds and therapy simply has me worn
I'm tired and angry as I'm forced to survive
Never once did I have real quality of life
You're all so selfish and I have every right to refuse
All your arbitrary assumptions of authority to abuse​
 
rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
I like expressing myself through writing and drawing at times, unfortunately I can't share this type without attracting too much attention.
I'm not the best writer, but it helps me unwind, I figured I'd share :)



I decided for peace and took my own life
Just for a fool that decided to revive
Now I'm wandering hallways by relentless force
Expected to utter meaningless words of remorse
The halls are empty and quiet like the dead
Locked doors and windows that never seem to end
This is not quite the limbo that I expected
Where getting help is not an option and more of a prison sentence
Here I am, still broken, careless and torn
All your meds and therapy simply has me worn
I'm tired and angry as I'm forced to survive
Never once did I have real quality of life
You're all so selfish and I have every right to refuse
All your arbitrary assumptions of authority to abuse​
ur an idiot. not the best writer??? u deserve to be slapped for that.

i really loved this, you can feel the emotion reading it for a moment, like i feel what ur feeling in a sense just by reading it.

i really hope you continue to share you're writing with us.
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
ur an idiot. not the best writer??? u deserve to be slapped for that.

i really loved this, you can feel the emotion reading it for a moment, like i feel what ur feeling in a sense just by reading it.

i really hope you continue to share you're writing with us.

Hah maybe I do need to get slapped around a little!
I'll add some more later for you all to read! I'm glad you liked it and can relate to it, it means a lot.
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
A day has passed, so here's a new one :)



I write poetry to let you read from the heart
But when you show no interest you make it so hard
I reveal my mind full of maze-like mysteries
As well as unravelling chaotic travesties
I show how it is behind these dead beady eyes
And exactly why I no longer really smile
I show it to others and I get all of the praise
Crowds are clapping as they all raise
For those of you that it's all meant for
I'm still waiting, hoping for at least an answer
I pound on your doors, windows and walls
You never seem to see me or hear my calls
I wish I could use this power of invisibility
Unfortunately it's more of a curse than an ability​
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Another day, another donut.

This one means more to me than the others personally, it was a response to my old friends and how they tried to ruin my reputation, making it harder for me to build new friendships after blowing the whistle on my abuser:


I am the person you got to know
Before I was brought the final blow
Without my attendance
They deliver their vengeance
Cursing my face and name
Recognized and put to shame
Words like knives far and deep
Showing their colors, I weep
Falsehoods breaking reality
Spiralling into pure insanity
So sit on your throne of manure
You're quite the fecal entrepreneur.​
 
rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
Another day, another donut.

This one means more to me than the others personally, it was a response to my old friends and how they tried to ruin my reputation, making it harder for me to build new friendships after blowing the whistle on my abuser:


I am the person you got to know
Before I was brought the final blow
Without my attendance
They deliver their vengeance
Cursing my face and name
Recognized and put to shame
Words like knives far and deep
Showing their colors, I weep
Falsehoods breaking reality
Spiralling into pure insanity
So sit on your throne of manure
You're quite the fecal entrepreneur.​
amazing, make it a goal to share like one each day or everyother day. these are amazing.
 
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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
amazing, make it a goal to share like one each day or everyother day. these are amazing.

I was thinking about it, I think I have enough to share a new one for a month or maybe two, not all of them are that great though, I'm sharing my favorites so far.
 
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rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
I was thinking about it, I think I have enough to share a new one for a month or maybe two, not all of them are that great though, I'm sharing my favorites so far.
maybe share ones that depict how you're feeling for the day. A poem that resonates with how you're feeling that day, emotionally. Or a weekly theme, where you only post with what the theme of that week is, and the theme is derived of how and what your feeling going into that week. something creative, definitely think others will contribute as well.
 
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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
maybe share ones that depict how you're feeling for the day. A poem that resonates with how you're feeling that day, emotionally. Or a weekly theme, where you only post with what the theme of that week is, and the theme is derived of how and what your feeling going into that week. something creative, definitely think others will contribute as well.

That is actually a fantastic idea, when I can, I might do just that, thank you!
Maybe you should as well!
 
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rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
That is actually a fantastic idea, when I can, I might do just that, thank you!
Maybe you should as well!
ill help contribute my own quotes for those themes. i really love like quotes and short poems, there beautiful.

take off with that idea, ill be there.
 
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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Dedicated to Hasssssuùuu because of the inspiration:



Today I'm looking at the screen
I'm never alone so it would seem
Looking at other people's travesty
I feel for them and their agony
Making friends in this odd place
Some will vanish without a trace
But I signed up for this deal
Of course for them I'll still feel
I'll miss them dearly when they go
One day it's me who will cease to show​
 
rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
Dedicated to Hasssssuùuu because of the inspiration:



Today I'm looking at the screen
I'm never alone so it would seem
Looking at other people's travesty
I feel for them and their agony
Making friends in this odd place
Some will vanish without a trace
But I signed up for this deal
Of course for them I'll still feel
I'll miss them dearly when they go
One day it's me who will cease to show​
SO FRICKEN GOOD LETS GOOO!!! i loved it. and thank you for the mention.

ill probably contribute with short quotes that move me. and poems here and there.


we have sadness living in places
sadness shouldn't live

-
rupi kaur
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Short one today, because I feel like crap and everything sucks, I'm also late, yay:



Renaming suicidal to freedom fighter
Making my future seem much brighter
One might argue I'm in denial
But they are not facing this trial
I'm the one fighting day and night
At the point where I'm losing my might
Exhausted and bitter, I can't last forever
None can change my mind no matter how clever​
 
rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
Short one today, because I feel like crap and everything sucks, I'm also late, yay:



Renaming suicidal to freedom fighter
Making my future seem much brighter
One might argue I'm in denial
But they are not facing this trial
I'm the one fighting day and night
At the point where I'm losing my might
Exhausted and bitter, I can't last forever
None can change my mind no matter how clever​
amazing again. hope you feel better, and i see a happy one tomorrow lol
 
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rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
Heres a poem I wrote, falls more under the guise of pro life but I'll share anyway (I suppose I could just rewrite the last line and keep it tragic) but for those you enjoi it here ya go

Set course and we're off again
Untied from the docks
Being pulled by the wind
Watching our colours fly
Dancing amidst the midnight's sky

Tides rolled back
As they always did
Currents came
Just to pull you in
Clouds floated in gray
To obscure the stars that light your way

You can't the horizon anymore
You've lost sight of the light on the shore

Waves crash
Treasures drown
Don't be afraid to look up as things are falling down
love it!! better see more of this.
 
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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
My response to my ex roommate with some rather peculiar narcissism, hostility, paranoia and fear towards anything that was different. So this one's a bit different than the others:


Got thar fear rattling your heart
Seeding insanity from the start
Got your rifle tightly in your arm
Protecting yourself from certain harm
Got your gun in your bed at night
Who knows which goblins are out to fight
Got your bat tucked into your car
Those punks won't get very far
Got your knife in the kitchen
Wifey better damn listen
Got your tinfoil on your head
The government won't have you dead
Got that pocket sand to use
Can't stand the look of that fool
You got your judge, jury and executioner ready
Holding that first and second amendment steady
Walking up to crowds that are different
Can't stand the thought of insignificance
You've got your beliefs that are better than everyone else's
Showing them how they're wrong with a death sentence
You've got your conspiracies in your head
So many innocents with blood to shed
You've got everyone but yourself to blame
But really, isn't that just a part of the game?​
 
C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
I like expressing myself through writing and drawing at times, unfortunately I can't share this type without attracting too much attention.
I'm not the best writer, but it helps me unwind, I figured I'd share :)



I decided for peace and took my own life
Just for a fool that decided to revive
Now I'm wandering hallways by relentless force
Expected to utter meaningless words of remorse
The halls are empty and quiet like the dead
Locked doors and windows that never seem to end
This is not quite the limbo that I expected
Where getting help is not an option and more of a prison sentence
Here I am, still broken, careless and torn
All your meds and therapy simply has me worn
I'm tired and angry as I'm forced to survive
Never once did I have real quality of life
You're all so selfish and I have every right to refuse
All your arbitrary assumptions of authority to abuse​
I like expressing myself through writing and drawing at times, unfortunately I can't share this type without attracting too much attention.
I'm not the best writer, but it helps me unwind, I figured I'd share :)



I decided for peace and took my own life
Just for a fool that decided to revive
Now I'm wandering hallways by relentless force
Expected to utter meaningless words of remorse
The halls are empty and quiet like the dead
Locked doors and windows that never seem to end
This is not quite the limbo that I expected
Where getting help is not an option and more of a prison sentence
Here I am, still broken, careless and torn
All your meds and therapy simply has me worn
I'm tired and angry as I'm forced to survive
Never once did I have real quality of life
You're all so selfish and I have every right to refuse
All your arbitrary assumptions of authority to abuse​
love it I'm definitely going to bookmark this
love it I'm definitely going to bookmark this
Didn't mean to double post but keep up the great work I sometimes like typing poetry too but right now I don't have any inspiration your poetry resonates well with me especially the selfish part.
 
Last edited:
rhaenyra

rhaenyra

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,333
My response to my ex roommate with some rather peculiar narcissism, hostility, paranoia and fear towards anything that was different. So this one's a bit different than the others:


Got thar fear rattling your heart
Seeding insanity from the start
Got your rifle tightly in your arm
Protecting yourself from certain harm
Got your gun in your bed at night
Who knows which goblins are out to fight
Got your bat tucked into your car
Those punks won't get very far
Got your knife in the kitchen
Wifey better damn listen
Got your tinfoil on your head
The government won't have you dead
Got that pocket sand to use
Can't stand the look of that fool
You got your judge, jury and executioner ready
Holding that first and second amendment steady
Walking up to crowds that are different
Can't stand the thought of insignificance
You've got your beliefs that are better than everyone else's
Showing them how they're wrong with a death sentence
You've got your conspiracies in your head
So many innocents with blood to shed
You've got everyone but yourself to blame
But really, isn't that just a part of the game?​
beautiful. and sorry about you're ex roommate.
 
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C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
Couldn't sleep tonight,
Almost like I wanted to fight,
Fight myself tired,
So I don't have to be awake,
And relive this living dream,
Or living nightmare,
Questioning why,
Oh why haven't I died yet,
I don't see myself as anything special,

I still remember popping 32 benadryls,
Hoping to sleep eternally,
Of course I freaked out,
The survival instincts kicked in,
Like I was beginning to die,
Truth be told I attempted multiple suicides,
The people who helped save me,
They lie to me saying I only tried once,

Claiming that everything that happened to me must've been a dream,
If only it was a dream but in reality it was all true,
I hope there are those who know what really happened to me,
And those who played a role in all my doom,
Suffer for what they've done and attempt suicide as many times as I had,
So they know what it is like to be on the edge of death,

Peace and farewell for I do not know if I shall ever obtain it in this life or the next,
Not that I deserve a next life,
This is all I can handle,
Would be glad not to exist,
So I would never have to suffer through it all again I pray that I don't get an afterlife,
Annihilation would be good for me,
For eternity would not be desired,
Fuck heaven and hell they both deserve annihilation,
Then be done with it.

I don't know how good this was or how bad it is at the time of this message it was on my mind.
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
I don't know how good this was or how bad it is at the time of this message it was on my mind.

It came straight out of your mind, that makes it beautiful. Not everything has to be perfect, you should see my ugly drawings!
I approve! And thank you for sharing.
 
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Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
A little short one for today:



Counting worms on my misadventures through the veil
The depths of a void to silence my wails
A final embrace of darkness and cold
To remind me that I am no longer alone
Numbing the pain of memories so old
Soon to be forgotten, so I've been told​
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Thank you CareOfCell44, and you're very welcome. Sorry for my late reply, I was at a club and I was a complete zombie until now.


Disclaimer for this one **graphic language** this is meant for entertainment purposes only and is in no way how I feel personally, I was venting anger in a safe way by writing an angry rap:



I hate the fucking world and everyone in it
I wish I could have everyone's throat slit
I hate the way you breathe out your noses
Self important thinking you're parting seas like moses
I disdain you all and you're such a pain
I wish you were boarding a concentration camp train
I can't stand the way you look at me scared and confused
What's the matter, rather want to be bruised, battered and contused?
I wish I had one of those fancy nuclear buttons to press
I'd be sending you all to your personal hell, all without stress
Sorry lol!
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Writing this a bit early because I'm going to be busy all day.




Life should be a given right
Not a curse or forsaken plight
Drowning my sorrows in poison till I lie flat on the floors
Locking myself behind reinforced stone doors
Hiding from the world and my internal horrors
None could fathom my infernal hall of mirrors
Lying to myself every day that I'm not falling off the rocker
Convincing myself I'm not dying, but what a shocker
Nobody can trap me as well as myself
Nothing can compete with my mind of a padded cell
I jump, I dance, I laugh and cry, it feels like forever
I do just what I'm told, you never see that it's an act but whatever
I know for a fact I'll never get well
Right now I know only time will tell
I walk this barren wasteland of what once existed
The soil is dead and all life is withered and twisted
I ask for euthanasia but I'm then labelled insane
All of your debates and arguments are completely inane
"Just take a pill hun, it'll all go away!
You can't take your life! I want you here today!
Just go get yourself some therapy!
Anything but, is nothing but heresy!
You are so young with so much to live for!
I don't care that you're losing an entire war!
My need for your presence is more of a priority!
Than all of your suffering combined, you can't die with dignity!"
So here I am defying your selfish propaganda
You know it'll go away with those pills, you sad fucking panda
Do you even see your own hypocrisy?
Will you ever give me a genuine apology?
Is it still funny or glamorous to do?
To force me to extend my suffering for you?
To put me in shoes you would never walk in as well
Welcome to my world that is an unforgiving hell​
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Another one!


Ever heard someone say
Destroy what hurts you
But if you become what you hate
And hurt is all that you do
Do you succumb or do you change
Or do you flail in a blind rage
Do you project to save face
Does your heart cease to race
Do you lock yourself in a cage
Or do you pick which wars to wage
Questions so simple to answer
But action I'll forever wait for​
 
Futility

Futility

Student
Aug 13, 2019
183
Sorry for the silence lately. My boyfriend got doxed. I can't think. I'm sorry.


Wow, that knightly armor shines
Stomping on those with past crimes
Oh just look at how awesome you are
Making others look at you in awe
What little you know
Your petty scummy blow
Now my life is over, you see
I lost everything as you smile in glee
You doxed my only lifeline
The only one who made me feel fine
You are the one who's truly evil
Pretending to protect, but you are the devil
Now I'm gone so don't you worry
In the end it's not him, but me who's sorry​
 
irregularheartbeat

irregularheartbeat

Memento Mori
Aug 25, 2019
65
Oh my gosh, you're so talented! I love the way you articulate yourself in all of these, you portray your emotions so well its beautiful.
Heres some of mine, I thinj it falls under button poetry? Im not sure :)

feel like a fraud, a misconception in the minds of others. I am not a safe bed for those close to me to rest upon. I am a monster that hides in the shadows my own words create, masquerading as an entire, complete being. I do not exist in this world, not really. I wear my mask and I walk around like I belong so that nobody can see what's underneath. Today, exactly like every other day I would like to hide. I want to disassemble myself and place my body in a box, with a lock to which the key may lay flat at the bottom of the sea. Surrounded by the surreen sound of a life so drastically different to our own. An eco system of wonderous powers held by the ocean. I would like the melody of the waves to consume me, like the night I sat inside of her and we spoke. I layed my body in the water and felt completely, entirely connected. I spoke with the moon, I spoke with the wind, and I spoke to the collective conscious of the water surrounding me. I was not wearing a mask in this moment. I did not want to hide, I did not want the ocean to consume me I wanted to blend into her sand and wash away like the sea shells on the shore.
Life is not that easy now. I'm terrified Im afraid, I must be a better person than the demon deep inside of me, out of fear of losing everything. Im afraid of building my life, achieving dreams and building my love to give away. Im afraid because I do not belong here, and that means every good thing must be taken away. Happiness is reserved for the residents of this universe, and I am not. I am a traveler of many worlds, and none of them my own, I am dead to the world my home exists within, it would not welcome me back. It would chew up my conciousness and spit back out my soul. It would devour me alive and grin, I wear this curse beneath my skin, I do not hold peace within.
 
Ness

Ness

They/Them pronouns, please
Aug 28, 2019
248
Poetry is one of my favourite things, this entire thread is full of beauty.

tip me over, throw me down,
I've been waiting for the other shoe to fall.
think I've got it all, think you need to pull me off the high horse,
and it's fine, I knew this would come.

let me fall to the ground -
and leave me here on my own.
I'm not picking myself up from down here, don't you worry,

you'll get your satisfaction from watching me drown.


Edit: I think I'll share this one too. I've got a lot.

I'm a little dead inside, a little numb and gone,
a little not here when you need me.

Sorry, are you sure it's me you need?
I think you'd do better without me,
I think you'd do best with someone else.

Sorry, I can't seem to change your mind,
not while I'm still here talking to you.

Sorry, it's okay, I'll fix that soon.
I'm just a little tired, a little numb,
so it's taking me longer than planned,
it's taken over a decade to get this far
but it shouldn't take a decade more.

So soon it'll be better for us both,
me when I can stop this feeling

and you when I'm finally gone.
 
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