iamthezero

iamthezero

Fiend Queen
Jun 22, 2018
28
Nightmares are horrible. I take a med called Prazosin HCL 1MG Cap. I haven't had one nightmare since I started the med. And with the computer maybe you click on something they have red flagged at the school. I have a hard time in med school also. But dont drop out you're too smart to waste it! Im norse so when it feels like there is so much piling on, Odinn is testing me to be a better warrior. To fight through it because I am strong. And you are strong also look how far you have came!
Thank you for this, really appreciate it. I'll mention that to my doc, I suppose that has to be something out that thatll make them stop.
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
School was good today everyone! Only down side was I made an 84 on an exam that I thought I would make a 100 on. I got to hang out with a girl I like and had the balls to ask her out to lunch this weekend and she said yes. <3
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
Work, eat, sleep.......EVERY DAMN DAY


Are you working the kind of job that you like? You need to live life more than just work and sleep. Maybe a job where you travel around.
 
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V

violetskin96

Member
Oct 2, 2018
31
i have really bad cold, trying to stay on top of college homework and some work responsibilities. My physical health issues are flaring like do pretty much every other week and i'm feeling really depressed and anxious. i took some ativan for the first time in years to try to feel better, it's not really working. oh and the person ive been dating 3 years is basically ghosting me the last few weeks . so yeah great day, currently layin in bed with lap top, story of my life
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
i have really bad cold, trying to stay on top of college homework and some work responsibilities. My physical health issues are flaring like do pretty much every other week and i'm feeling really depressed and anxious. i took some ativan for the first time in years to try to feel better, it's not really working. oh and the person ive been dating 3 years is basically ghosting me the last few weeks . so yeah great day, currently layin in bed with lap top, story of my life

If they have been ghosting you for 3 weeks then I would ask to see them in person to fix that problem. And if they don't want to then start dating again. This time of year is really bad for colds and flus. When your cold dies down go get the flu shot so it doesn't get worse. College and work is definitely what's stressing you out. Take some time in your day for yourself. Like 30 minutes to and hour just playing video games or listening to music. It will really build you backup relieving stress. Also try relaxing your shoulders, unclenching your jaw and not pressing your tongue to the top of your mouth. The small things we do when we are stressed really build up.
 
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Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
I like to cook, wanted to be a chef when I was young......didn't work out, no money, no support, other reasons, just another failure in my life

How about switching jobs to just a common restaurant? Start off there and build your way up to chef. It's never too late!
 
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Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
I haven't gotten out of bed the whole day except to get some vodka and weed infused candy. It's 11 PM.


Are you feeling better now? You wanna talk about what is going on?
 
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Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
619
5 AM — Woke up, sweating and hyperventilating - clearly had a nightmare but can’t recall details.
8 — Woke up, had another nightmare, it was about some fatal car accident with details I’d rather not elaborate on now. Decided to get out of bed.
8:01 — Fuck it, went back to bed.
9 — Took my meds, beta blockers, a SNRI, and a benzo.
10:30 — Washed up, looked at the mirror and said aloud: “Fuck you.”
10:40 — First cigarette of the day.
11 — Brunch
11:40 — Second cigarette.
12 PM — Bought a six pack of the cheapest beer I could find.
12:20 — First drink of the day with more beta blockers and benzos.
Now — Really wish I were dead because tomorrow is going to be the exact same routine.
I can’t even read “beta blockers and benzos” without immediate getting excited to kill myself.... this is going to be a long existence...
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
Finally got my welfare check, was forced to sell my car and am finally drunk <3
-Btw just because I use hearts a lot doesn´t mean I am female I am just a very sensitive and feminine male <3

Putting a heart doesn't make you less manly means you are highly confident in your masculinity! And sometimes getting drunk can be refreshing especially with the day some of us have.
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
I can’t even read “beta blockers and benzos” without immediate getting excited to kill myself.... this is going to be a long existence...

Well You could do a brain trick. Take a post-it note and write "think of something pleasant" On it. Everytime you see beta blocker or benzos, stare at the post-it and think of something pleasant. Like Ice cream, You know something random that would make you smile.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
619
Well You could do a brain trick. Take a post-it note and write "think of something pleasant" On it. Everytime you see beta blocker or benzos, stare at the post-it and think of something pleasant. Like Ice cream, You know something random that would make you smile.
Think I am just jealous : ) I don’t really know why.... didn’t work the first or second time. But hope springs eternal.... FML.
 
Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
Think I am just jealous : ) I don’t really know why.... didn’t work the first or second time. But hope springs eternal.... FML.

I have tried to Ctb well over 40 times or more since i was 14. It is very much obvious I suck at it. But now I have liver failure. I understand the jealous and on my side bitterness when saved. But I see why I am alive now days. There might be one person I could help in recovery like im going through.
 
Actually

Actually

Member
May 18, 2023
12
(disordered eating mentioned)



Woke up, tried to sleep longer on purpose so I could skip going down to get breakfast with my family. A while later I went downstairs cuz my dad kept calling me. I binged on bread then purged it out, which was quite hard. Then I ate lunch, purged that out too. Not done yet, I went out to buy some drinks and wow that was a mistake! I drank hardly 2, had the worst hiccups of my life and the liquid came back out of my mouth. Got stressed about it so I exercised for 30 mins and here we are now.
The ed voices are so loud today.
 
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