Venting sh relapse

[suchaprettygard3n]

i haven't burned myself in years. ive always thought about it though. like during all my episodes, i've always had that voice in the back of my head saying " do it do it do it do it do it do it do it" but i always somehow managed to not give in.

until today. the scariest part of it all is that, the first time i did it was years ago, when i was so young. so i'd kind of forgotten the physical feeling. but doing it today just brought all of it back. and i dont know how im gonna stop this time.

 

[altkey]

Burning yourself? I haven't seen anyone sh in this fashion before, I also sh'd today, a very small cut so I'm not sure if it *really* counts but I haven't done it in a while

 

[Liammm]

Burning yourself? I haven't seen anyone sh in this fashion before, I also sh'd today, a very small cut so I'm not sure if it *really* counts but I haven't done it in a while

You are valid. Your sh is valid and real. You don't have to prove it to anyone. I'm not telling you what to do, I just want you to know that you are valid.

i haven't burned myself in years. ive always thought about it though. like during all my episodes, i've always had that voice in the back of my head saying " do it do it do it do it do it do it do it" but i always somehow managed to not give in.

until today. the scariest part of it all is that, the first time i did it was years ago, when i was so young. so i'd kind of forgotten the physical feeling. but doing it today just brought all of it back. and i dont know how im gonna stop this time.

It's easy to forget the feeling after a while. Last time I cut, I accidentally went too deep and scared myself straight. I was... So angry. I learned other ways to cope, like using my blade on an object instead of my skin. But sometimes... It doesn't feel like its enough.

I relapsed recently, too. I couldn't stop myself from buying some blades. I know the voice you are talking about.

Whatever happens, you are not alone.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Burning yourself? I haven't seen anyone sh in this fashion before, I also sh'd today, a very small cut so I'm not sure if it *really* counts but I haven't done it in a while

It does count. Self-harm comes in so many forms -- any time you intentionally hurt yourself, you are self-harming.

i haven't burned myself in years. ive always thought about it though. like during all my episodes, i've always had that voice in the back of my head saying " do it do it do it do it do it do it do it" but i always somehow managed to not give in.

until today. the scariest part of it all is that, the first time i did it was years ago, when i was so young. so i'd kind of forgotten the physical feeling. but doing it today just brought all of it back. and i dont know how im gonna stop this time.

I've been in a similar spot. I started self-harm when I was an early teen, then stopped for some years, but the whole time I was clean, I was constantly thinking about doing it again. I had to push through those thoughts every day, and to be completely honest, I wasn't fully clean. I only counted self-harm as the times that I was drawing blood, but all of my scratches, purging, and failures to take care of myself all indicated that I wasn't better. Coming back to self-harm after so many years reawakened so much of the hurt that I kept buried down inside. I wish I had good advice on how to stop, but if I knew the answer, I wouldn't be back in this cycle. You're not alone in how you feel, and if you need someone to talk to, you can dm me.