I haven't cut myself in over a year. I prefer invisible self harm. I don't get too much out of cutting, and honestly haven't since I was a teenager. Every once in awhile I get the urge, but I prefer other methods. But god the urge to cut today. It's so fucking strong. I want to slash everywhere. I want to go as deep as my body will let me. I want to create a blood bath. I just want to make a fucking disaster. I can't though. My arms are off limits because I wear short sleeves/roll my sleeves up at work all the time. It's getting hot here, I'd like to be able to wear shorts. I have sex somewhat regularly and I know he would probably say he's not going to keep it going if I have visible self harm. If only cutting to death was an option, I'd go out in a blaze of bloody glory.
My mind is so, so broken. Who would've thought that one decision to cut at 9 would turn into this. I can't wait until my time comes.
My mind is so, so broken. Who would've thought that one decision to cut at 9 would turn into this. I can't wait until my time comes.
I know it can be so addictive. I relate to what you say about one decision , I never thought a scratch at 13 would end up in more serious harm years later.
