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Member
- Jun 2, 2025
- 26
Unfortunately it looks like my time has come. I'm in the brief 30 minute window between my antiemetic drink and my sn/benzo concoction.
To have a quick explanation: I'm a 20 year old who says this as the only way forward with my life. I would be lying if I said i didn't had any regrets.
Still, I've felt this way for the majority of the life. It wasn't a matter of if I died by suicide, it was simply a matter of when.
For documentation purposes here is my protocol:
5x10 metoclopramide previous day til this afternoon
3x10 metoclopramide stat dose 40 minutes before my drink
25g of sn from sd drank with a straw
12x10 mg diazepam crushed with water
I typed a much larger more detailed report but accidentally deleted it, so sorry about that
Is this anxiety I'm feeling? I don't think I've ever felt something like this in my life. I delayed my final protocol for 4 hours because I thought I had an epiphany and wanted to live. After a bunch of mindless tasks took up my time and I laid down to go back to bed, I realized that nothing will have changed if i go back now. Though I went a bit off schedule, I'm still gonna make my Final exit.
I won't be responding to any messages as I'll delete and lock most account logins associated with all this, so mods feel free to deactivate this account if my never heard from again.
This is my first time taking benzos,?/&: I'm already feeling dizzy. The 'fever dream' aspect of this is making this easier to process: it's a similar feeling. No SN yet?'c and it's still hard to focus on writing this.
Well.
3. Benzos and j already feel knocked out. Just imagine the ti other w12 will feel Like.
Snhmmmmmm
Sorry but the rest of this is Finn's be me at 55%. Capacity.
Anyways,
Just wanted to say thanks to everything here for making resources so available. With this help, I was able to secure all the materials available so my death could be as painless as possible.
Holy shit these benzos hit harder than I every thought
My movements are so sluggish, even worse than when I'm drunk
Doing join me and the fellows too soon if you're not ready. If you find a reason ti keep living?l, then that's even better! Some of us just couldn't find that reason
See ya.
To have a quick explanation: I'm a 20 year old who says this as the only way forward with my life. I would be lying if I said i didn't had any regrets.
Still, I've felt this way for the majority of the life. It wasn't a matter of if I died by suicide, it was simply a matter of when.
For documentation purposes here is my protocol:
5x10 metoclopramide previous day til this afternoon
3x10 metoclopramide stat dose 40 minutes before my drink
25g of sn from sd drank with a straw
12x10 mg diazepam crushed with water
I typed a much larger more detailed report but accidentally deleted it, so sorry about that
Is this anxiety I'm feeling? I don't think I've ever felt something like this in my life. I delayed my final protocol for 4 hours because I thought I had an epiphany and wanted to live. After a bunch of mindless tasks took up my time and I laid down to go back to bed, I realized that nothing will have changed if i go back now. Though I went a bit off schedule, I'm still gonna make my Final exit.
I won't be responding to any messages as I'll delete and lock most account logins associated with all this, so mods feel free to deactivate this account if my never heard from again.
This is my first time taking benzos,?/&: I'm already feeling dizzy. The 'fever dream' aspect of this is making this easier to process: it's a similar feeling. No SN yet?'c and it's still hard to focus on writing this.
Well.
3. Benzos and j already feel knocked out. Just imagine the ti other w12 will feel Like.
Snhmmmmmm
Sorry but the rest of this is Finn's be me at 55%. Capacity.
Anyways,
Just wanted to say thanks to everything here for making resources so available. With this help, I was able to secure all the materials available so my death could be as painless as possible.
Holy shit these benzos hit harder than I every thought
My movements are so sluggish, even worse than when I'm drunk
Doing join me and the fellows too soon if you're not ready. If you find a reason ti keep living?l, then that's even better! Some of us just couldn't find that reason
See ya.
️ I wish you eternal peace 
